Upset we weren't invited to the wedding

If you've put a little money away anyway and have childcare available, i'd be booking a little break away with DH.

They've shown their true colours. Ignore them, let them get on with it and don't bother with them.

YANB, OP, that's sad, and you've got no choice now but to readjust in your mind the relationship you thought you had. Your mum must be upset too, and in a difficult position. From your posts, I'd say it's very much your stepsister's loss. I hope you do something lovely with the money you've put aside.

The OP is speculating about this ‘Instagram thing’. You can give a shit about how you look, want a wedding to look top notch and have high expectations of your special day and still be a decent person.

agree, i'd be hurt too but you have to adjust what you thought they meant, like instead of step sister ranking, you have to reclassify as cousin's daughter.. detach. Hurtful though.

I think people are being really horrible towards the stepsister on here based off the OP deciding (based on what?) that she hasn't been invited due to being overweight. Saying she's shallow, a bitch, and going to get divorced shortly after the wedding. She probably hasn't invited the OP because she doesn't view them as family, which isn't that surprising since she didn't even know the OP existed until the OP was old enough to be married.

@Daisypod you've made some pretty judgemental comments towards your stepsister on this thread and thanked others who have joined the pile in on her. Perhaps she just knows how you really feel about her and doesn't want you at the wedding because of that?

OP you say you were already married when your mum got together with their dad. If you only see them at family events it sounds like you don't have a particularly close relationship with them.

I wouldn't take it so personally and think that they're not inviting you because you're not "Instagrammable" or because they don't like you. People view step relationships in different ways. Particularly if they come about when people are older. They may not see you as close family especially if you've never lived in a family situation with them. Just becuse their dad married your mum it doesn't automatically mean you are going to have a sibling relationship.

Sorry this has happened to you. YANBU to be upset. I see some comments suggesting it may not be the way you look but... DH's niece got married last year and didn't want us there (me really because I'm the fat one) because we wouldn't look good in the photos. SIL told her to grow up and invite us which she reluctantly did. We only found this out when another member of his family asked why I wasn't in a single photo and her sister told them it was because I spoiled her wedding by looking the way I look. Her sister is lovely and was very unhappy about this attitude. She was unhappy with lots of other things as well and doesn't make as much effort with her any more. Turns out his niece had told the photographers to either avoid photographing me or delete me.

I agree with this!
Also OP having no full siblings of your own maybe it stings a bit more - that you're not considered part of the family?
'Getting on' to me is neither here nor there. I can socialize with a lot of people, but I don't reveal details about myself beyond the surface level. They don't know the real me and if they do, would be very surprised!

Fair enough if you have an active Whatsapp group, are constantly in contact and then suddenly are not invited. But if you only see them a few times a year, and know details about their life from social media (like everyone else) or the rest of your family you can't be that close really...?

I think that’s very mean and shallow if the reason is as you suggest.

Will you be seeing them before the wedding? Plan something to say if you are.

I’d be upset too. Go away anyway, maybe just you and your other half, and have a lovely time

This is a difficult one for me OP.
Initially, I thought that you were the only step-sibling left out.
However, your parents got together with older children. You all live in different places and have the occasional get-together. You've never lived together as a family.

Step-parents obviously have to be invited as the partners of the actual parents. Full siblings, obviously as a family.

You think you should take precedence over the 'new' friends but the reality is, the latter is probably much more involved in their daily lives, while they only see you a couple of times a year. 40 friends, if in couples are actually just 20 people.

It's hurtful that you don't have the close relationship you thought you did. Definitely.

They don't sound like very nice people though being annoyed that not everyone can shell out for a wedding abroad.

You sound so lovely, why not book a week/weekend away somewhere lovely just you and your hubby?
Your step sister sounds snobby, every family has one of them don't worry.

OP I've never met yourself or your step siblings but I know I'd rather spend a day in your company than theirs.

Wow that was not helpful at all, do you enjoy kicking people when they’re down?
I honestly can’t think of a worse comment to make.

Are you her only step sibling? Or do you have other full siblings who have been invited?

I would be really hurt by this, given how you describe your relationship until now.

I get that there can be restraints on wedding budgets, etc but for a step sister and her husband, I'd definitely make it happen.

I'd now just disengage beyond basic civility. She's made her feelings towards you quite clear.

How mean-spirited some people can be! I'd be annoyed with your step dad too - that's not good enough!

You're not wanted for whatever reason so sod them! Spend your money on a nice trip with your children. It'll be far more enjoyable!

It's a bit premature to assume that you weren't invited purely because of your weight.

Unless you were the only ones, and all of your siblings + step-siblings were also invited? Are you saying that they're all glamorous etc etc? You said family but didn't say whether it was everyone except you

Being invited to a different step-sibling's wedding is irrelevant to this.

Yeah I think that’s really bad form! I feel for you and for your mum.
I think your step dad has been a complete wet blanket, imagine saying “I’m not getting involved” when you’re talking about people you’ve been a step parent to for 20 years.

As hard as it is try not to internalise it, you now know where you stand and you can be sure to save your time and effort in the future.

Your step dad can also get lost too, I’d be crossing him off my Xmas card list

I hope they don't expect a gift though. How boring and shallow are their lives that all they care about is how others look.
I give it 5 years max. She'll have her instagram honeymoon then perhaps an instagram baby shower/ instagram christening, despite not being remotely religious. Then there will be nothing else. At a push an instagram 1st birthday party for their child.

I don't think it means they don't like you. My dad remarried when I was late teens. I've never lived with his wife's kids. I like them well enough, get along with them when I see them, but I don't consider them to be family & I don't refer to them as my step siblings. I didn't go to any of their weddings & they didn't come to mine. I would send a card and think about where you can go with the money you saved.

YANBU. Did she come to your wedding?