Upset we weren't invited to the wedding

No you are not wrong to feel the way you do. They don't want you there which is hurtful. Don't send a present or card. Or ask about it at all.

OP, I think the strange thing to me is, if you were genuinely close - then you would just ask her? Why the need for of all of this guessing and thirdhand information? Even the best friend will present the side of the story that makes her look good, you're not going to know what's actually happened.
Your initial post was about 'step-siblings' and as PP pointed out, being a step-sibling doesn't guarantee a close relationship. Fine.

Now you say you're close to this person, enough to meet up individually etc, I don't see how, in that case, they can not invite you and still have such a close relationship. But that isn't related to you being a step-sibling.

It would be extremely odd to not invite you, but then happily meet up with you , and as I said, not mention anything about the wedding. Unless maybe, since she moved away, you're not that close anymore, and she just thinks that the relationship has run its course. You are still tied to her, as a step-siblings but she just sees you as a friend. Surely the relationship is now irrevocably damaged?

BTW I never actually said whether YABU or not. If you felt close to someone and they made it clear that they don't feel the same, YANBU to feel hurt. Anybody would be. @pizzaHeart As PP have pointed out, people don't have the same expectations with regards to step siblings.

It's more about the reasons for not inviting you, that to me isn't clear cut.

Oh and the other thing is, if you were also genuinely close to your other step-siblings... one of them at least would have further thoughts on this surely. And discussed it with you.

Maybe they all know something that you don't?

If it makes you feel any better there's been at least 1 wedding that each of my 3 brothers have had that I haven't been invited to. The ones that I have been invited to I was just a guest, no special role. My brothers have been each other's best man or usher but no role for their only sister. And yet when I got married my mom insisted that it would be unfair if all 3 weren't my ushers. Bitter and twisted? You bet!!

@Daisypod YANBU. Also, if lookism is indeed the reason for the snub, these people may be glam on the outside, but they are hideous on the inside.

I think you are wrong @sixpiacksally .
It rather feels for me that @Daisypod likes her step sibling, considers her a part of the wider family and is genuinely upset that her step sister feels differently.

How helpful that your stepdad won't get involved. What a wimp 😩🙄

If you feel you are close enough for an invitation then YANBU, but people on this thread who seem to think that any family member, blood or not blood-related, has some strange inalienable right to be invited then they ABU.

I agree I think it's really bad form. you will have to rise above it and be cool with them in future. I am a beliver that step sisters etc are classed as family but you only have to look at lots of posts on mumsnet especially when comes to holidays that people don't see them as part of the family. I say your step sis is one of them.

@saraclara OP didn't say the she likes 'her' in particular. Just that she likes her 'step-siblings' as a whole. There was no indication of her relationship with this particular individual. Until this post that is.

OP, everything you said about your step-sibling has been negative. You've made multiple comments about how 'Instagrammable' the wedding is - and jumped to conclusions about not being invited because of that. You ignored my comment about how you could possibly be so certain that every single one of the other guests fit the 'aesthetic'. You also added the bit about the friend not being able to attend...why? For all you know, the bride might have made a lot of effort for the friend, and this hasn't been reciprocated.

If you're close enough to meet individually as frequently as you now stated, then it's simple, just ask her why you're not invited. Heck, if I had a friend that I was that close to, it would be very awkward to not be invited... especially as, if I saw them frequently the wedding would come up as a topic of conversation.

We got married abroad and I didn't invite my step siblings.. I guess though I was late 20s and they had only been in my life a few years and we saw each other so infrequently, maybe only a few times a year when I would see my dad. I honestly felt they wouldn't have wanted to come anyway , destination weddings are expensive and only if you're really close do I think they are worth going to. We only had 40 people at ours. I honestly didn't give it a second thought (maybe I should have on reflection!!)
If it was the UK I would have invited them I think had I done a bigger do!

This^ 100%

Yeah he's being a useless twat. Id be annoyed at him too.

Have a holiday in the country in question but not at the same time as the wedding. Also, you now know you don't need to bother with her again.

Look on the bright side OP - no need to buy a gift or donate money for their instagrammable 'honeymoon'.

Spend the money you have put aside on something for you and the children and enjoy every minute of it.

These threads always highlight how differently people view step family relationships and loyalties. Some people view them as family or want to be family and others are happy to be virtual strangers.

It does seem odd to exclude you imo because your kids play together and you meet up for meals independently of your mum and her dad etc.

FFS. OP has said, not far up this page, that she LIKES her. Which is why she's hurt.

That’s incredibly awkward.

Yes, I'm surprised at the vitriol. MN hates weddings and social media so OP complaining about an Instagrammable wedding was a like a red flag to a bull.
BTW @Daisypod you don't know that every single one of the other attendees are erm glamorous. You only what you see on social media, since you're not actually in this woman's life. The non-glam friends might just not want their photo taken or to be on Insta so you don't know they exist.

I was initially feeling a bit of sympathy for you, but the more I read, the more I think step-sibling made the right decision. I hope this gets picked up by journos, so she sees it and realizes what you really think of her, if she doesn't already know.

At least you don't have to buy a gift - ever.