Upset we weren't invited to the wedding

You would have to think that they have a serious problem with you for what ever reason of you aren't invited ? I have half siblings and if I got married there is one I wouldn't invite purely because once there is alcohol involved they always start arguments or physical altercations with their brothers or father and I wouldn't want that at my wedding .

Have they told you your style didn’t fit with their wedding/wedding photos?

Highly unlikely they phoned OP up and said, 'You're too Fat to Photo'.

Save you a fortune as no travel or accommodation cost, no present needed

and when they want to borrow you baby stuff - er, no! When they want favours, remind them to work their way down their wedding list invites first.

I wouldn't be spending one penny on her. Not so much as a card. I'd be polite and civil if I saw her again, but that would be it. No asking after her wedding. No warm expressions of best wishes for her future happiness.

Did I read this correctly, @Daisypod ? You are the only step-sibling? Are all her full siblings going?

I take it you weren't invited for the hen either, OP?

Have they told you your style didn’t fit with their wedding/wedding photos? If not, it is a huge assumption to think you were not invited because of being overweight or not fashionable.

My bet is that you were not invited because you are not close to them directly. You may have been at the same parties when your step dad is present but if you don’t see them at all when he is not, you are just acquaintances and not close enough for the smaller numbers that destination weddings are about.

I think you can feel sad for a bit then move on. At least you know where you stand with them now- knowledge is power.

This.
Or
Take Michelle Obama's advice - "When they go low, you go high." or words to that effect and send them a card and a small gift.
They'll squirm.

YANBU to feel upset, but at least you don't have to fork out for an expensive wedding abroad. It's probably more to do with numbers than anything else....try to get past it, wish them well and move on.

Christ, how Mumsnet for some people to hone in on one part of a post and derail the whole thread over it 🙄

OP, you have every right to be upset. From what you've said re Xmas meet ups and the kids playing together etc, you have clearly spent more than enough time with them to warrant an invite.

Yes, you could be making a little assumption re aesthetics BUT it's equally likely that DSS is just being a massive Bridezilla and a bit of a bitch!

Either way, I'd be backing off those meet ups. She's made it clear your family aren't a priority to her so don't prioritise time with her, in future.

I wonder what she will say next time you meet up, she's made things a bit awkward for everyone hasn't she really especially if you were invited to their siblings wedding previously.

I can't imagine having a wedding with guests only based on how they look.

If they viewed you as family, you would be invited. They clearly don’t.

you are now free to never worry about including them in family gatherings going forward. If they happen to be in attendance, you don’t need to be rude, but no need to include them in planning.

DH had a cousin who behaved rather similarly. They didn't get a wedding present and when they announced the births of their dc they didn't get cards or presents then.

Don't go. Don't say anything. Spend the money you would have spent going to their wedding on a little break for your family and make sure the rest of the family are told what a fab time you had on that little break.

Enjoy being fat and homely and yiur family unit. Sincerity is important and karma will visit the dozy mare

@Daisypod ignore it.hard I know but the more nonsense they include in the wedding the shorter the marriage will be.
And even if they stay married forever you'll always know they're vain egotists who cares more about a photo than family.

Hi OP, I can understand how hurt and upset you are , you have every right to feel like that. You describe yourself as homely and overweight and assume that you weren't invited as you wouldn't fit into their instagram wedding. If that is the case, it sums up what type of shallow people they are. You said you had money put aside for the wedding. I hope you enjoy the holiday with your family, you so deserve it. Onwards and upwards!

Spend the money on a lovely trip with your children and don't give this another thought.

Hopefully you can avoid all these tedious events too. I think you're on a winner.

Spend that saved money on a great holiday for you and your family.
It must hurt I would be hurt but I'd never show it to them .You now know where you stand with them.
I wouldn't be sending a gift nor a card , a congratulations when you.next see them and no wedding chat nor looking at tedious pretend lifestyle pictures for you .

Look forward to spending the wedding present money on a lovely family day our, surely they won't want/expect a present from unsuitable people!

"It's become clear also that it is going to be a very 'instagramable' wedding"
In which case, i give it a year.

Oops, it never even occurred to us to invite step siblings to our wedding - we don't even consider them step siblings, as we didn't know them growing up - they're just my Dad's wife's kids. Nice enough folk but in absolutely no way close.

I think it's reasonable to feel upset and unreasonable to feel angry.

I think you're a little harsh to jump to the conclusion you aren't "instagram-friendly" enough. It's a child-free wedding abroad and you have children; they may have just thought it's all too much hassle.

It's also very common for people to prioritise their friends. That doesn't mean they don't like you.

You were married and gone before your respective parents got together. You are step-siblings in name only, rather than having a shared family bond.

Yes that sucks. Polite and distant from now on. Nought you can do about it but feeling hurt is natural.