Upset we weren't invited to the wedding

That really sucks, fair weather friends living their lives through a social media veneer. Send them a telegram wishing them good luck. They'll need it.

Stop getting together. My SF passed away 15 years ago after decades of living with DM and my siblings. We got together every Christmas too. Have seen his adult children once since. Far too much forced 'getting on' of blended families and tbh it's a relief to me. Most of the effort was to keep my DM happy.

How horrible. People are just cruel. If it makes you feel any better when one of my oldest, closest friends decided to get married she asked me to be bridesmaid… I was so excited. I’d never been a bridesmaid before, went dress shopping, paid for the damn thing, two weeks later she said to me “I’m so sorry you can’t be bridesmaid now my mum says you are to pretty and will take the limelight off me but is it ok to give your dress to my sister seeing as you have already paid for it?” I was heartbroken. Now to put this into context. I am no raving beauty and have a bum you could park a bus in. I didn’t even go to the wedding after that and it’s never been the same again.

Fat discrimination is real - research proves it. I find that when I am overweight some family members try to treat me like dirt. Rise above it. Hold your heads up and cultivate happiness. I assure you that one day they will lose their looks and their inner ugliness will be visible for all to see. Trust me on this. I am older and have seen this happen time and again.

You are right to feel upset . Now you know how they really feel about you but you also know who they really are - superficial shallow people who care more about “ likes” than people. Give no more thought to them and show zero interest in their wedding, cutting any conversation your mother or stepfather etc may initiate about it. No gift, no card. People like that need to be on the receiving end of hurt .

I’d be hurt. but I’d think of the money I’d saved in outfits and travel to the step sisters wedding… maybe book a holiday for you and your children instead… for that week!!

You are not being unreasonable. My family weren't invited to my Dh's nephews wedding but I won't let it get to me. You don't want a lasting rift. Just carry on with your lives but watch yourselves around them as they are obviously nasty and rude. Hold your head high and do you.x

I understand you feeling snubbed and upset. My SIL had a 60th birthday a few years ago. She had a meal out with friends and I wasn't invited. We see quite a bit of each other and worked together in the past. We were bridesmaids for each other many years ago. Some of her friends were invited who I had also worked with in the past. I felt very hurt about this and have never forgotten it but didn't say anything to her and we still see each other fairly frequently. My children also understood my hurt feelings but it was better to stay quiet about it. It just made me wonder what she thinks about me.

Maybe they just don't view you as "close" relatives.

TBH, I'd just wish them well & move on. Going forward, I guess you know where you stand.

I understand entirely why the falling out happened. What a dreadful and selfish way to prioritise their guests. You must have been so distressed.

My cousin lived with us for a year. Met someone and got married and despite living next door to us, didn't invite us.

I've hardly spoken to her since. Suffice to say she didn't make the cut for our wedding guest list....

I totally understand you're upset, @Daisypod , something similar happened to me.
It was my DB, my only sibling and with whom I'm fairly close, speak every week but meet only about four times a year since he moved to the West Country.
I was so sad when he told me that he and his long term partner had just got married. It was a registry office wedding with a couple of neighbours as witnesses.
We would have gladly gone along, just DH and I, to support and congratulate them but they didn't tell us until after it was over. They wouldn't have had to host us, we could have taken them out to lunch, booked into a hotel for the night and returned home the next day.
I'm still a bit sad about it, TBH, I love both of them and am sorry i didn't see them get married. They'd been together for over 30 years!

I don't think it was a deliberate slight, they just wanted to keep it very low key. 😢

That’s very hurtful and it would have been clear to her that it would cause upset. I wouldn’t make efforts with her in the future knowing that I didn’t mean enough as family to be invited. Also from your stepdads reaction I would have a word with your mum about their wills, that whatever they want is very clear to all as I can just see your step siblings causing issues in the future.

They have walked into that awkwardness and that at their peril!

there were only 18 of us at my wedding but it was kept to secret no announcements on facebook so family members and friends didn't get upset (until afterwards) the only people who were upset were the family we don't talk to! Funny that!😂😂 Everyone else was really happy for me.

no one should fit into "an instagramable" category- it's not real! And if they want to rely on instagram for that validation, have gratitude for not being apart of that. It sounds like they are doing this purely to look good on instagram and not for the love and spending it with the people that matter most xxx

As u r only step sisters, I’m not at all shocked u rnt invited, and chances are if u we’re it’d be a token invite and they wouldn’t want u there.

YANBU. It seems very unkind. Try not to let it upset you-tbh if the wedding is going for full-on instagrammable, it probably won't be a whole lot of spontaneous fun anyway, just a series of staged photo ops!

I wonder what happens to the wedding guests who don't conform the the orders regarding colour. Is there a checkpoint at the Church door or wherever and are people refused entry?

No @saraclara we didn't go we all fell out and haven't seen them since , very sad

Looks perfect to me!

Yes, you’re right to feel sad and angry, but don’t let it bother you long term, and reassess your relationship and contact with them thereafter. Definitely sounds like the kind of wedding I would swerve to avoid , to be honest.

Sometimes humans make me sick.

Sorry, op. That's pretty horrible of them.

I also wouldn't let your mind go round tying yourself in knots trying to find answers to why they've not invited you. Already you're comparing yourself to other invited people and wondering if it's because you are homely and that possibly it's down to you not fitting with a certain image. That appears to me to signify that there is nothing that's happened in the past or recently that explains any bad feeling caused by any conflict, so you are literally clutching at straws to find a reason. Your stepsister will surely know how awful you will feel being left out, so there must be something going on with her that you are not aware of. Perhaps she is jealous of how close you are to your parent and their parent. Of course I am only speculating and can't know if that's the case, but if you've always seemed to get on and there hasn't been any conflict then something has to be afoot to explain leaving you out in this cruel way. I don't believe it's likely to be anything to do with you not fitting a certain image, but you coming to that as a possible explanation shows how little you have to go on and it also shows how hurtful this has been for you. I hate the way people in life can be so passive aggressive as it causes so much hurt and confusion. You are better off without that in your life and at least you know in future that this person doesn't think of you as close family xxxx

Wow.

Did you go?

She's your sister? Just ring her and ask what's up

Let’s hope she doesn’t need a kidney…