Upset we weren't invited to the wedding

I'm like you, never lived with any of my step family, but see step brothers etc at Christmas and other events, we all get on.

There's no way my stepbrothers would be further up the priority list for my wedding than my actual friends though, and I wouldn't automatically be expected to be invited to their weddings either.

I don't really see them as my family, they're just people I happen to know because my mother remarried. I like them, but they're not people I ever actively choose to spend time with.

I don't think you've not been invited because you're "not instagrammable", you just have different expectations of what step family means than they do.

It sounds like it's more style over substance and they can't see what is most important - friends and family, rather than photogenic acquaintances.

If you have some money put aside then book something nice for your own family.

I might send a card, as I am like that, but I wouldn't be getting them a present.

Have you thought of going for the holiday and spending time with your mum?

They don’t feel close to you. They probably have mixed feelings anout your mum too but can’t exclude her. You didn’t grow up together. Stop being so sentimental about them. Don’t put yourself out for them anymore.

BIL got married yesterday and didn’t invite any of his siblings!

It's become clear also that it is going to be a very 'instagramable' wedding and we just don't fit in, all their friends are glamorous and we are homely and overweight.

You have six weeks or so to lose weight, OP. PM me for some diet and exercise tips.

*LOL fuck them, OP. Honestly - if the reason is as you suspect, that’s one of the shallowest things I’ve heard in a long time.

Unless it's a very, very small wedding or you have upset her without realising (and she hasn't said anything) then YANBU. As others have said, at least you know how she feels going on!

Mum and him got together when the kids were older teens/young adults so step siblings have never lived together but we've always got on. they just don't feel close to you. That's ok.

I think you should see this as an opportunity to do something fun with all the money you will save on not attending this wedding.

Wow! This is pretty low. I think if there’s a nasty streak in someone, weddings just seem to draw it out.

YANBU to be sad, I would be sad too.

Bride not bridge 😂

'It's become clear also that it is going to be a very 'instagramable' wedding and we just don't fit in, all their friends are glamorous and we are homely and overweight.'

You only think that.

It may be that they just don't see enough of you to warrant your going to the wedding or that they don't like you as people and nothing to do with what you look like.

I have experienced this myself. And it made me realise what she really thought of me.

When it happened to me - my other step sister rolled her eyes at the wedding plans & said “this marriage will never last”…she was bridesmaid so had to go...

Less than a year later they were divorced and the instagrammable blowing of bubbles at the bridge was a distant memory (and so was our sibling relationship!)

Being in the same 'homely and overweight ' category myself I would be thanking my lucky stars that I wasn't expected to have to attend this wedding.
Dont give them another thought -except to plan an equally expensive (taking wedding present, meals , flight and hotel, childcare plus whole new wardrobes and spending money all into account) holiday to somewhere of your own choosing at the same time. All inclusive to Turkey for you all maybe?

I agree with this too - stay quietly confident in your own life, bright and breezy, give them politeness only.

I asked my mum about this and she confirmed it, said she had asked my step dad about it and he just said he didn't want to get involved

What a coward. I'm not saying he should kick off about it, but surely he could say "have you not invited Daisypod?"

This.

Wow, that's unkind of them.

Let's hope that one day they don't experience the harsher side of life and see all their instagramable friends go running.

My relative is like this - always looked down on us not-quite-as-stylish ones- she's run out of money now and is struggling.

YANBU to feel hurt and angry. Once the immediate feeling passes, try to minimize the amount of headspace you let them take up. Don't go chasing after them, don't agonise over the next time you'll have to see them etc - just be blissfully unbothered by / oblivious to their presence.

Higher your bar OP by not carring about them, they are the sad, plastic,fake, no substance people you really do not need to accociate with.
You say you have a few children, show them you don't care and mean it. You are real people, they are show offs. Carry on being the nice person you are.

YANBU to feel sad about it but it’s probably saved you loads of money and having to politely smile amongst loads of people who aren’t naturally the type you’d be friends with, whilst worrying about how you will look on Instagram.

YANBU

Weddings are often quite boring and you’d have to figure someone out to look after the kids so I’d consider it a relief to be honest. Feel slighted but now you know their true colours and don’t need to buy them birthday and Christmas gifts any more