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AIBU?

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Original poster

To find I’m still left with nothing each month despite it looking good written down.

85 replies

Itgetsharder · 29/06/2024 13:00

I’m newly separated…about 9months on my own now. I have my dc 50:50. I’m proud of what I have achieve on my own and the separation process isn’t even really started yet legally do I know there’s a long road ahead. I am hating that I’m left with little to nothing at the end of the month and sometimes dipping into savings (when I used to save 500-1k per month)
my figures are as follows:
My basic salary (with no overtime!) Is 2600
Child benefit (in Ireland) -280

So that’s a minimum of 2860 or thereabouts

My only solid must pay outgoings per month are
Rent 1400
Storage 80 (I’m working on getting rid of this!)
Life insurance 84
Internet and phone 52
Netflix 15
Bins 23
Electricity 120

I have a car but I own outright it and tax and insurance are paid annually. (Used savings)

So that’s a Total of 1874
So that’s a Leftover 986 which seems like a lot but that’s to cover food, petrol and everything else (clothes, birthdays, haircuts, days out etc)

Rationally I know I’m doing ok, I get that, I’m just worried that I’ll never be able to save again and buy my own place. I’m trying to relax about it but I’m finding I’m stressing.

I have changed roles in work which will allow me to wfh a few days a week which will reduce my petrol consumption.

Im aware I’m lucky in lots of ways, I suppose I’m just venting. I just find I’m flirting between being strong about it in the now and worrying about how it will all play out. Anyone else?

OP posts:
helpfulperson · 29/06/2024 13:27

Presumably if you used to save 500 to 1000 pounds a month you have substantial savings. Sounds like this is the rainy day you’ve been saving for so use it.

Original poster
Itgetsharder · 29/06/2024 13:24

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

@Catmummyof2 i would feel highly cheeky asking him to do that, I’m the one that left. And I know theoretically I could but I feel it would just not go down well AT ALL.

OP posts:
Original poster
Itgetsharder · 29/06/2024 13:23

nightmaries · 29/06/2024 13:14

I take it you don’t need to play Council tax? It’s not in your list.

start small and every hit saved from a change goes into savings -

  1. swap phone to £15 a month and put £37 into a savings standing order
  2. swap Netflix to basic plan and out £10 into the saver
  3. get rid of storage brutally - £80 into the saver
  4. reduce food bill by £10 a week - £40 into the saver
just examples ..

@nightmaries no, no council tax in Ireland

my phone and internet are in one deal together so the 52 is quite good I think as it’s fibre Broadband and unlimited Everything on my phone. If I change one I’ll have to change the other I think.

the Netflix was basic but I have two tvs and my dc like to watch different things! BELIEVE me I would change it if I could but I like to keep the peace as much as possible when I have them.

the storage I am working on slowly yes! Need to sell and get rid of stuff and then I can store the rest in my shed! That’s a big one! And it will be amazing when it’s done!🙌

food bill I could be better with, I can try that yes!!

OP posts:
Catmummyof2 · 29/06/2024 13:22

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Clarinet1 · 29/06/2024 13:21

Itgetsharder · 29/06/2024 13:18

@Clarinet1 yes there’s a house that we own together that I’m hoping he will buy me out of. Yes he has them half of the time and feeds them and buys them what they need when he has them, he’s very good that way. School expenses are very minimal thank god. Childcare (afterschool care) is 54 per week which he pays (he has no mortgage)

Show quote history

Fair enough - that sounds as though things may get better in the foreseeable future.

Original poster
Itgetsharder · 29/06/2024 13:18

Clarinet1 · 29/06/2024 13:12

When the separation becomes final (will it be a divorce?) what will the situation be regarding any previous assets? Did you own a house together which you would get a share of? Anything like a business? Also, if your ex is having the DC half the time, that doesn’t just mean feeding them and having space for them, it should mean a reasonable share of things like activities, childcare, school expenses etc.

@Clarinet1 yes there’s a house that we own together that I’m hoping he will buy me out of. Yes he has them half of the time and feeds them and buys them what they need when he has them, he’s very good that way. School expenses are very minimal thank god. Childcare (afterschool care) is 54 per week which he pays (he has no mortgage)

OP posts:
nightmaries · 29/06/2024 13:14

I take it you don’t need to play Council tax? It’s not in your list.

start small and every hit saved from a change goes into savings -

  1. swap phone to £15 a month and put £37 into a savings standing order
  2. swap Netflix to basic plan and out £10 into the saver
  3. get rid of storage brutally - £80 into the saver
  4. reduce food bill by £10 a week - £40 into the saver
just examples ..
Clarinet1 · 29/06/2024 13:12

When the separation becomes final (will it be a divorce?) what will the situation be regarding any previous assets? Did you own a house together which you would get a share of? Anything like a business? Also, if your ex is having the DC half the time, that doesn’t just mean feeding them and having space for them, it should mean a reasonable share of things like activities, childcare, school expenses etc.

Original poster
Itgetsharder · 29/06/2024 13:12

@Apileofballyhoo no entitled to much at all really as the children are 50:50, I am in the middle of applying for HAP but I’m not too hopefull, but it would be amazing if I did get something. Although I do worry if it would effect any future mortgage applications (should I ever get to that stage) council housing would be hard because I’m rural and need to be close to the dc’s school. The fact that I found a house to rent in this area is actually a miracle!

OP posts:
Apileofballyhoo · 29/06/2024 13:09

Are you entitled to any state help at all? Have you looked? Family income supplement? HAP? Have you applied for social housing?