To feel so upset and frustrated when things like this happen?

Did you manage to find the costume in the end?

Hi @sayhelloooo
When my DS was small, I purchased a pack of Little Swimmers/Splashers at the supermarket to have for exactly this reason (missing primary swimming trunks).

My DS didn't need to know they were a swim nappy....I just told him they were a one-time pair. Perfect to keep in my bag for any ad-hoc water activities during days out, plus I remember the pack size was small and easy to store. My DS was like a piece of string; the largest size fitted him until he was 9.

I hope your DS enjoys and keeps up swimming. I think it’s an excellent 'life-skill' to learn.

Don't beat yourself up; parenting is hard and these things just happen to us all* *

It’s so frustrating when things just disappear!

There’s a cute book called Where The Missing Go that I always think of. It has a whole parallel universe with all our missing socks in it.

But at the same time, an item of clothing seems to have been put in and taken out of a swimming bag by someone --unless you have the kind of pets that drag clothes out of bags, or poltergeists, surely someone had to actually do this?

I'd head out a bit earlier and pick one up from the supermarket.

I've read some nonsense on here & this is a contender for the top spot.
Swim shorts aren't expensive you can get 2 pairs for under a tenner on Amazon & most supermarkets. Send the kid to the swimming lesson in a pair if underpants & while he's there, get yourself online and order a couple of pairs of trunks.

My thoughts exactly.

We are a chaotic family, can never find anything when needed. Swimming we’ve got sorted. After the lesson the towel and costume gets washed, hung up together and packed back in the swim bag once dry. Goggles stay in the bag too and the bag stays on the same hook no matter what. I bought light weight towels for swimming so they dry quickly. There is no excuse to ever go in the swim bag. It’s about our one most organised thing in our house. The only time it fails is when DH dose the swimming classes as he dosnt believe in emptying the car when he gets out of it and I regularly find the bags the next day. If the machine is full the swim bag stays next to the machine until it’s washed and put away.

DH would get pissed off tripping over the bags and try and empty them but I kicked off so now they stay there until washed.

We also have back up costumes, like loads but I have 3 DDs. We have a draw full of various sizes. These are used every other time we do anything swim related. The lesson bags don’t get touched. I also keep a separate bag with extra goggles, diving weights in for non lesson swimming.

id buy several spares, you don’t have to buy new, pick up some cheap ones in charity shops.

In your op you said it's gone missing twice, and now this has never happened before. Sounds like you are just disorganised because if something has been packed, then someone has unpacked it. You would then be more concerned as to why and who.

You posted on AIBU. The answer is yes. It’s not particularly difficult to keep swimming stuff in a place that you can find it again.

You’re arguing the toss about it all, when it’s a bit silly to lose it, and a bit silly to only know you’ve lost it when it’s too late to do anything, and miss multiple paid for lessons

Yeah I found spares helpful. I even buy spares for myself because of the house gremlins.

In the 80s and early 90s you would just have gone in with him in his Y front pants and no one would have batted an eye.

Something like this op? Sounds annoying, I find the same thing happens with pe kit if they're not washed and put straight into the pe bag and put with all the coats.

Your DS is still little, he'll probably not be overly bothered about missing swimming. You have ordered a second pair of swimming trunks for the future. Not much else you can do. I know it's annoying missing something you've paid for but it's not the end of the world.

This would drive me mad too. I rarely loose things, e.g I never have odd socks. I would be exactly like you wondering where something went years later.

That’s just family life.

This is a deeply weird thread. OK, it's mildly frustrating when something you don't have a spare of isn't where you think you left it, but is it really worth this level of angst?

Your language is also very mysterious, OP you say the swimming costume had vanished before the last lesson, turned up during the week (where? in the bag it's supposed to live in?) and has now vanished again? You didn't remove it, you say your three year old is highly unlikely to have done so without telling you, and then you say your DH must have taken it but why would he remove a necessary piece of kit from a swimming bag? Have you actually asked him? What has any of this to do with you being ill? Are you suggesting your DH resented having to take your child swimming because you were ill, so hid the costume two weeks in a row?

My kids don't do swimming lessons but I feel you. This is a regular thing in our house with four kids there's always something we can't find.

I'm chronically disorganised though.l (I do have diagnosed ADHD so technically have that as an excuse, but it's not really - I'm just crap!) Dad pulls his weight (more so , if I'm honest) but because he's at work full time and I'm at home in the day time, it usually falls to me for these things and I'm awful and sadly my kids - who are helpful and lovely and do chores - are equally as bad as me.

Every new school year I start off with the best intentions for routines for things like this and within a week they're by the wayside and we muddle through 😆

I try and keep a few spares in the car of various things like cheap coats, wellies etc, and if I was doing swimming, a spare towel and trunks for that reason. I get them all from Vinted so it doesn't cost me quite as much and the either resell or pass on when they don't fit or no longer needed.

They're small enough to get mixed up with the main washing, so could be in with your clothes or where the towels are kept.

The only way I could guarantee the continued safety of swimming costumes+towel for my kids was a rigid routine of

1. In the front door
2. Swimming costumes and towels in the washing machine to rinse (by themselves, so they didn't get mixed up with other washing)
3. Swimming bags hung up on their own hooks (so they didn't get mixed up with coats, book bags, under the beds, back of the sofa...)
4. Swimming costumes and towels drying (by themselves, so they didn't get mixed up with other washing)
5. Swimming costumes and towels back into the swimming bags, costumes on top, so they could be checked quickly
6. Night before swimming, open bags and check swimming costumes were still at the top

I also made a point of them having brightly coloured costumes and ridiculous, child's dream, velvety, favourite cartoon character towels so there was no danger of them disappearing into the airing cupboard for the next five years.

That rigidity was the only reason mine ever had more than one session in a pool. Didn't stop socks or anything else going missing - and it was only when I had the genius idea of trying a similar, rigid routine to train my muscle memory that I stopped losing keys/phone/bank cards/etc - but it worked for swimming.

Yes we all live close to a Primark.

I have 2 boys . We have a box for swimming kit. I have spares of everything. necessary to avoid that kind of stress .