To dislike children's birthday parties?

The parties are relentless at that age!! My tips for keeping the cost down was to bulk buy presents when they’re on offer. Buy wrapping paper on eBay, you get 20 assorted sheets for the same price as one roll in supermarket. Also buy packs of plain cards and envelopes and get DC to make the card.
Also my DC knew that going to every single party was not an option. If an invitation appeared in school bag from a child I’d never heard mentioned I would say “who is X?” If the reply was “a boy in my class “ I’d suggest that was one that they didn’t need to go to.
It does get better as they get older.

None of us love them. You do them for your kids - that's how they have a social life outside of school. Doesn't last for ever.

OP hadn't said any of that before the interrogation

They aren’t enjoyable. I’m not ND and I still hate them. I hate my own dc’s parties too. Thankfully, their birthdays are in the same week 🙈 so it’s one hell ish week of party hosting every year and then done. Dh and I take turns doing them.

Around here, everyone still stays through Y1. But you don’t have to talk to anyone. Sit on your phone with a coffee and ignore everyone. It’s fine.

Shes already said they have a father and he's not dead or not on the scene. Him being at work on the day of the party doesn't mean he couldn't have helped get gifts sorted?

It's such a heteronormative assumption that there is a male partner.

It's also an assumption that he's not dead or left.

How? !!

We are just starting children's parties. My DP told me, in all seriousness, that he absolutely hates them and hates small talk and it's more "my sort of thing". He was shocked to learn that every single person on earth hates them, we do it for the children. Will definitely be implementing a split on who attends going forward.

Yes they’re horrendous. Luckily the class parties are getting fewer now towards end of reception. The tears, the having to mingle, the cliques, the quarrels… ahhhhh
We had a party in the house for my sons 5th and he asked 6 friends (from in school and out) and it was much less stressful!

I wasn't looking to lead it into any discussion but if you find this part of parenting difficult then it seems logical that their father take on this aspect. If he's at work at the time of the party then there's nothing he can do about that but that doesn't mean he can't help make it less stressful for you, he could have brought the presents and card and lightened the load.

Oh 100%. You already know how it goes!😅

I think money in a card is a great idea. I wished that was the 'done thing' when DC were little.

The other thing that helps is to take the time to buy a few unisex presents within your budget, for DC the same age as your ds, and have wrapping paper and cards at home, ready in advance, and that takes away another stressful element. You can usually find something really nice when you are shopping in advance and take your time.

Three in a week is a bit much!

DD once went to three in a day!

Yeah they just assume the worst and there's a dad at home sat on his arse

It's absolutely fine the only thing is they will know exactly how much you've spent so you can't save a bit of money by finding a good 3 for 2 offer or spending £8 instead of £10.

I hear you op. It is all a bit stressy. Three in a week is a bit much!

Share with your other half and pace yourself. Make sure you get to the parties of your ds's best friends and pick and choose the rest. Everyone understands if you can't do three successive parties in a row for example.

You are allowed, for example, to reserve one weekend a month as a "recharging weekend" if that is what helps you to negotiate the rest.

I found parties useful places to connect with other parents and build up a wee reciprocal emergency baby sitting circle which can last throughout primary. Getting to see other parents either in their own home or outside of school, helps with that process, BC you can chose the parents you really like. I really recommend doing that for when you are ill, your oh is away, and you can't do the school run one day for example. As long as it is reserved for serious emergencies and no one abuses the arrangement it can work really well.

I have the "engage" ones

No. Couldn’t stand it. Making small talk about kids with other mums. Not my idea of a good time

People are always DYING to know the whereabouts of the dad even when he isn’t mentioned by the OP. I think that’s so weird, it’s like constantly fishing for information that hasn’t been given to you, just because you want to know

Yanbu

I like a lot of the mums at these things, but I do hate the parties. So chaotic and overwhelming. A bit of a sensory assault tbh!

It's just one of those things you have to get through. I like the short ones of about an hour and a half. Don't even care if there's no food on offer. My kids like these ones too as they see the activity as the fun bit. I remember going to a few really long ones of 3 hours plus and found them too long for me and the kids and everyone else tbh.

My eldest just gets dropped off now and she loves it. We've hosted a few drop off only ones too and I actually prefer them. I'd rather just have the kids so I don't need to worry about chatting to all the parents. I do like them, but I'd rather focus on the kids staying safe / having fun

If you're friendly with a few mums already, (and you think your kids would be ok with it) maybe see if you can lift share between you?

Also, regarding gifts, when my DC were that age I used to try to get appropriate presents on offers at Argos. I remember there used to be a 2 for £15 offer when the items were usually 10 each.