To be really worried about our finances?

Only if their income is higher than their outgoings. They have credit card debt at the moment which suggests they're not even covering their outgoings.

You're only 35 you've years ahead to increase your finances .

Do think about how another baby would impact your career plans, and added costs of childcare. Also, little things like having 3 DC often means needing a bigger car or having to pay for extra rooms in hotels/on holiday etc.

The extra expense of a third child isn't just when they're young but thinking about things like hobbies/clubs/music etc when they're older and possibly university fees.

Not saying that you shouldn't do it but that you shouldn't underestimate the financial difference it will make.

What type of job will your DH try and get when he leaves the military and how much will his pension be?

* thank you. do you think another baby would put too much pressure on us financially? The response seems mixed*

You have savings, an income, secure cheap housing for the next few years and want another baby, so I’d go for it.

Your financial situation sounds fine to me, you’ll be able to buy in a few years when your DH leaves the military as you have savings.

Try the Dave Ramsey podcast. I find it quite motivating.

really sad to see we’re not taking care of the military the way we should be. Thank you for yours and your husbands service.

I agree. Can you get Dave Ramseys book? I think you are doing great.

Your life sounds stressful though, hats off to all in the military. It sounds hard.

I don’t really understand what you’re worried about 🤷‍♀️ I mean yes if you post on Mumsnet you’ll get people telling you you’re poor because Mumsnet seems to attract a lot of very high earners who earn £80-100k plus. But - it’s not reflective of real life. You have a small, manageable amount of debt and lots of savings compared to many- £22k is a LOT. (We are in our 40s and currently have 68p in savings 😳🤣 we do own our home outright though).

Make sure you’re claiming everything you’re entitled to - universal credit maybe etc etc. If you want to own your own home make that a priority and make a budget. But don’t beat yourself about your situation, it’s so much better than a lot of people.

How rude! It's not up to you to tell someone if they can have another child or not! Looks like she haa plenty of money to me.

Op if you want another child go for it.

Frankly, your DH is so far down the line that I would advise him to stay to complete his service for pension and go for a commission if he can. When he comes out, there are any number of jobs where the sole qualification is to be an ex-officer.

As for your current finances, while you're not rolling in cash, the black items outweigh the red by a fair margin.

Don't get complacent but I think you are being over-anxious.

@Thimbling just to say I agree with your husband re staying another 3-4 years to get his full pension. He has got this far, don't walk away from it now.

Duncan Bannantyne was sat on a beach with not so much as a bank account at 30! He did ok!

Point being don't worry too much. Don't ruin your younger years working. Do your best. You have more than many and your earning potential will only increase.

Good luck!

@Thimbling In that case, definitely consider married unaccompanied, particularly when you know it will be limited to a couple of years. It will make the transition smoother. Leaving the fold is usually a bit of a head f* 😵‍💫, they are so indoctrinated.
Undoubtedly, you will need to grow a thick skin, put the pressure on and take the lead. It will be hard for you both, bit you will be better off financially in the long run.
DH is middle OF-3 and once rent/ciloct is taken out he clears just over £3k a month. A third of that goes on boarding school fees. Kids did 6 schools before year 7, their education suffered significantly.

Why do you say that? @Thimbling op has more saved than we did when we did had our last child, and we were renting too at the point. 8 years later we are fine, and own a home ( small mortgaged) I was 36, dh was 43 when we had our last child and shortly after bought a home, and it's all been fine

Fellow dependent here, 10 years ahead of where you are.
If we had our time again, we absolutely would have got out at the stage of life you're at. The lack of funding has decimated what 'perks' there were to make it a worthwhile 'lifestyle'. I have sacrificed my career for his but we no longer live in a world where the X factor makes it manageable. We all work, but it's most minimum wage.

The forces provide an element of guaranteed security but as you will well know, it comes with more and more uncertainty, relentless tours/courses/exercise's etc. You, your career and your family life will always take a back seat, and the support network these days is pitiful.

Married Unaccompanied is an option becoming more popular, enables you to build the rock solid support you need for childcare so you can build a career and get on the housing ladder. I would say you do need a rock solid relationship for this to succeed though.

Over 25 years I know very few who have successfully maintained an actual career alongside the serving spouse (unless dual serving or they've not moved, which is still very unusual).

I think you’re being really hard on yourself, military life is not only hard but also very expensive. I think it’s easy to forget the cost of moving, even with disturbance allowance it does really add up. Then not adding on the help with childcare a lot of people have with family living near by. It would be great for you guys to aim for a rental property, once we lump summed the deposit it’s quite minimal now but keeps us on the property ladder. Nationwide do mortgages for people in the armed forces that keep your interest rate to normal rates and not buy to let property rate but I can also appreciate it’s a lot of money to save and part with x

Have a look at the Dave Ramsey plan- a lot of it is American but the main points are there x

Do you have longer term plans for when your husband leaves military service? If he can stay on, all well and good, but it might be an idea to do some long term planning so you’re not caught out.

I would do a monthly budget and track spending so that you know where the money is going. If you know how much you are really spending it can be quite shocking and worked out on a yearly basis can really make you think about whether you want it.

Depending on how quickly you want to get finances in order, you can then make the necessary cut backs or look at ways to up your income, whether that’s extra hours or side hustles.

I would look to get the debt paid off and then save as much as you can. Have a look at websites like money saving expert can be really motivating and give good ideas and there are challenges on there you can join in for support.

If you know where you would be looking at living, you could also have a look to see what sort of prices you would be looking at and mortgage calculators to see what sort of income and deposit you would need. I know the market can change a lot but it might be helpful.