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Original poster

To think it is insane I have no financial security?

118 replies

Mnoccju · 28/06/2024 20:26

I earn 4,100 after tax and including child benefit.

Monthly costs:

my mortgage on a two bed is 1,100. Nursery is 1,700. Travel costs 300. utilities, 400. Food 250. Car finance 200. Tax and insurance 80.

I can’t afford new clothes or shoes, the cinema, a night out, a meal etc etc. I can just about afford to treat dd from time to time with a small toy.

what is the fucking point? My job is horrendously stressful and I have absolutely nothing to show for what I am doing. Are there other countries where life isn’t like this?

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 28/06/2024 21:36

PashaMinaMio · 28/06/2024 21:02

£250 on food!! Food just for you?
Do you eat take-aways, shop for everything at Waitrose? Buy organic at inflated prices? Do you buy masses of cleaning products?
Maybe look at that and see if you can do better. Surely a 10month old doesn’t eat too much.
Can you cook? Can you cook from scratch?

Seems like a massive amount to me but I’m an Aldi fan so maybe out of touch.

£250 isn't extravagant.

AutumnLeaves5 · 28/06/2024 21:21

Can you take the pressure off yourself until you don’t have nursery fees? Go into an interest only mortgage but then overpay once your daughter starts school? Reduce pension contributions for a couple of years and then build back up?

It looks like it’s about getting through the nursery years is the priority. It’s tough when you’re juggling everything but can you look for jobs which can offer more flexibility?

Heatherbell1978 · 28/06/2024 21:18

Assuming you're using tax free childcare to get 20% off, your childcare amounts to over £2000 before the discount. Are you paying £100 a day for 20 days a month (ie full-time?) at nursery?

ooooohnoooooo · 28/06/2024 21:17

@ChirpyBee yes it's still available - just a different scheme now.

www.theguardian.com/money/2024/apr/06/salary-sacrifice-how-british-workers-can-take-home-more-by-getting-paid-less

My company has just started it and it's saving some people 40% of their childcare fees.

Ariela · 28/06/2024 21:16

Have you asked for a pay rise?

spikeandbuffy · 28/06/2024 21:11

PashaMinaMio · 28/06/2024 21:02

£250 on food!! Food just for you?
Do you eat take-aways, shop for everything at Waitrose? Buy organic at inflated prices? Do you buy masses of cleaning products?
Maybe look at that and see if you can do better. Surely a 10month old doesn’t eat too much.
Can you cook? Can you cook from scratch?

Seems like a massive amount to me but I’m an Aldi fan so maybe out of touch.

I don't think that's high at all
I spend £240pm for myself and that's at Aldi
Think it'll be a cheap week then realise I need toilet rolls, butter, mince, cheese....
I used to be able to spend £40 a week and £60 if it was Sainsburys, now it's still £60 but that's at Aldi

ChirpyBee · 28/06/2024 21:11

ooooohnoooooo · 28/06/2024 20:36

See if your employer can do salary sacrifice for your childcare costs. Means it gets taken before tax so costs you a lot less.

And it's free for your employer to do.

This doesn't exist anymore. It's now tax free childcare where you get a 20% help rather than at the top end at 40%.

westisbest1982 · 28/06/2024 21:10

It’s so tough these days financially with no partner and especially with kids - as soon as I read your first post it was clear you were paying for all those things by yourself.

Agree a lodger could be really helpful, no tax to pay up to £7.5K per year on the income.

EmeraldRoulette · 28/06/2024 21:07

Agree food is very high

Also gas and electric - is that the DD they've asked for? I now pay on billing as the minimum they want for DD is more than three times my usage! You might find you have a lot of credit there. They really try it on.

decionsdecisions62 · 28/06/2024 21:05

Can you get a lodger op? It may help until you stop paying for childcare.

Skykidsspy · 28/06/2024 21:05

You are doing really well to be able to make ends meet - you need to recognise that being able to manage on your own at all is a huge achievement!!

Your dd will be happy with very few toys and clothes from charity shops and trips to the library and the park - she will have no clue about the value of things for many many years.

the interest only mortgage is a great idea to see you through until the free hours kick in. I’m not sure when that’ll be but I’m sure others know.

The nursery fees are just absolutely crippling aren’t they

HandsDown84 · 28/06/2024 21:04

PashaMinaMio · 28/06/2024 21:02

£250 on food!! Food just for you?
Do you eat take-aways, shop for everything at Waitrose? Buy organic at inflated prices? Do you buy masses of cleaning products?
Maybe look at that and see if you can do better. Surely a 10month old doesn’t eat too much.
Can you cook? Can you cook from scratch?

Seems like a massive amount to me but I’m an Aldi fan so maybe out of touch.

£8 a day is very easy to reach for 2, especially with a child who eats a lot of fruit.

PashaMinaMio · 28/06/2024 21:02

£250 on food!! Food just for you?
Do you eat take-aways, shop for everything at Waitrose? Buy organic at inflated prices? Do you buy masses of cleaning products?
Maybe look at that and see if you can do better. Surely a 10month old doesn’t eat too much.
Can you cook? Can you cook from scratch?

Seems like a massive amount to me but I’m an Aldi fan so maybe out of touch.

OnceICaughtACold · 28/06/2024 20:57

I also wanted to ask whether you’re using tax free childcare to pay for nursery.

It is shit, it is particularly difficult if you’re single and working full time without partner/family to do some childcare. The glimmer of hope is that it won’t be this expensive forever.

Sallyh87 · 28/06/2024 20:57

Stating the obvious but you’re doing tax free child care right? It’s only 20% but makes a big difference!

Anyway, I can empathise. I have two in nursery seems almost pointless working.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 28/06/2024 20:54

Are you using the tax free childcare to pay your nursery fees?

RandomMess · 28/06/2024 20:53

Does your ex have DC at alll?

Original poster
Mnoccju · 28/06/2024 20:52

@Sunnydiary its 140 council tax, 150 gas and electric, 50 water, 30 broadband, 30 phone.

OP posts:
Sunnydiary · 28/06/2024 20:49

It is tough but things will improve soon. That £280 will take the edge off.

Your utility bills seem rather high to me. Can you break those down?

Overthebow · 28/06/2024 20:49

Mnoccju · 28/06/2024 20:47

@SpiritAdder im not building equity though as the interest is so high and the property hasn’t increased in value since I bought it two years ago

Unless you have an interest only mortgage then you will be building equity. It may not seem much each linty but it adds up. You’re really not in that bad a position, you just need to get through these nursery years.

HandsDown84 · 28/06/2024 20:49

Unfortunately on some areas, high house prices/rents and high nursery fees go hand in hand.

What's the term on your mortgage? What retirement age does it go up to?

If you bought 2 years ago on a 2 year fix for example you might be able to change lender and lengthen the term for now.

CatStoleMyChocolate · 28/06/2024 20:49

Are you doing tax-free childcare? It does suck, especially as the only adult, on Etsy looks like a good wage.

Original poster
Mnoccju · 28/06/2024 20:47

@SpiritAdder im not building equity though as the interest is so high and the property hasn’t increased in value since I bought it two years ago

OP posts:
SpiritAdder · 28/06/2024 20:46

It’s only for a short time. It’s hard with the nursery costs- I had them when there were no free hours.

You do have financial security in that you own your home so you are building equity instead of grappling with skyrocketing rent.

It is tough now, but it will get better.

Original poster
Mnoccju · 28/06/2024 20:46

I can’t compress hours, I’ve already asked

OP posts: