To think it is insane I have no financial security?

We all should be having a good standard of living, you’re not saying anything new or helpful. But sometimes, needs must.

lol and I’m here laughing that your wage is over £4000 a month and mine is 1700£ a month 😂 if I had your money I’d be rich

🙄

lol and I’m here laughing that your wage is over £4000 a month and mine is 1700£ a month 😂 if I had your money I’d be rich

Op loads of people will tell you you should get rid of the car, get a bike, eat nothing but gruel and be fucking grateful for it. But it's shit.

I hate the race to the bottom.

Sending hugs OP. The years of paying extortionate childcare costs are hard, particularly when you're a single mother. Take a step back and breathe. Your bills are covered at least and it will get better. Be proud of what you're achieving - no, it doesn't look like there are funds for extras, but the CMS payment should help and you're doing brilliantly navigating this. You'll look back in a few years' time and be both relieved and proud that you conquered it.

Yanbu OP.

The nursery years are hard and harder still since you're a single parent footing the nursery bill.

I have no advice different to what PP have posted but it does get easier.

When my 3 year old got her funding our nursery fees went down from £880 to £110.

And with the 15 hours it should make a difference for you. That's two days a week where hopefully all you'll have to pay is for food.

It’s shit, wages are shit in this country, housing is expensive unless you got on the ladder yrs ago & childcare is ridiculous.

Also 'get a lodger'. With a full time job and a baby. Absolutely nuts. You should have a good standard of living. Housing and childcare should be cheaper.

Op loads of people will tell you you should get rid of the car, get a bike, eat nothing but gruel and be fucking grateful for it. But it's shit. I found myself pregnant a few years ago, looked at the maths and thought nah. I couldn't do it. Good luck to you. I'll send you a message if I've won the euro millions tonight.

I'm on single person council tax and it's more than £140. How much do you think it should be?!

Hang in there - are you eligible for the 15 hours from September?

You should be on single person council tax!!

The really outrageous part is that the child’s father is not required to pay half of nursery costs. That current calculation is not fit for purpose.

Could you change your car?
The ones you pay monthly for are extortionate what with you paying £300 in travel as well - how far away do you work?

I have the opposite problem - I keep trying to stop my DD being reduced, but Octopus are determined we should pay less.

I think it's pretty normal for young parents to be living hand-to-mouth. Kids are expensive.

Oh come off it.

£250 is pretty reasonable, that is roughly £60 per week, so less than £10 per day for all her food and household groceries.

That's hardly Waitrose standards. It would barely keep her in olives and prosciutto.

Your utilities seem high at 400 for a 2 bed? Does that include council tax?

Have you checked you're on the best deal? Or if you are eligible for a grant for better insulation, new windows etc to improve heat efficiency?

@ooooohnoooooo how are people getting 40% off childcare fees? This is a workaround we all need to know for sure!!

The tax free childcare scheme is a 20% top up but totally independent of the employer. As far as I know, salary sacrifice for childcare vouchers was stopped around 5/6 years ago. The article doesn’t mention that salary sacrifice is back but if it is I need to know more as our fees are crippling.

Is it 30 for broadband and 30 for phone? Could they come down a bit?

Just hang on in there. Everyone with children has been through this at some point or other. It’s the reality of having kids. I am sure in your salary that you are fairly used to living quite a different lifestyle nd may still be adjusting.
I didn’t have any money as a single parent with my first child. I, like you had bought a house for us and he was only 1 when we moved in (I had stayed at my mums prior to this until the house and through) so similar circumstances.
I didn’t go out, I didn’t spend excessively on anything as I didn’t have any money, I was absolutely knackered because he didn’t sleep. It was hard work.
but what we did do was enjoy the simple things in life. You don’t need much. Enjoy your Dd growing up, it doesn’t last long for the hardest work to be over. You wanted her so enjoy it and stop worrying about it too much, life is fluid, always changing. Stay strong, focussed and just enjoy it for the moment.

I feel your pain. I get 1865 after tax. Widowed single parent of 2 kids. Nothing left at all. Can I ask what job you do? I'd love to earn 4k after tax

Could you get a live in nanny? Depending where you live it may be significantly cheeper

Graph of the most expensive countries in Europe for childcare added for the benefit of the discussion, source here: https://www.euronews.com/next/2023/03/06/childcare-puzzle-which-countries-in-europe-have-the-highest-and-lowest-childcare-costs

Basically absolutely any other country is cheaper than us.

As to your question re other countries. Erm, yes, most countries in Europe childcare is free or priced at an affordable level.
one of my friends actually had to leave the UK for Germany when she found out she was pregnant, as she never could have afforded the childcare, whereas she now pays a few hundred euros.
A lot of northern and Eastern Europe have parental leave for a number of years at full pay so no need for nursery unless you want to.

Our government policy is very openly anti-procreation and anti-women/mums/parents but obviously nobody would say it out loud.