To think it is insane I have no financial security?

Oh op I remember that feeling so well. You are caught in between kindergarten, mortgage costs and everything going up all the time.

It will get easier eventually.

To answer your question, op, yes, there are other countries where life isn't like that. Read up on child care costs and subsidies in different EU countries.
A quick Google found me this from 2022.

Edit to say the photo is very blurry. Here's a link to the oecd pdf I got it from. Long story short, in many countries childcare for a single mum is a tiny fraction of income. https://www.oecd.org/els/soc/benefits-and-wages/Net%20childcare%20costs%20in%20EU%20countries%20in%202022.pdf

You have a mortgage though. So at the end you’ll own a house so you will have something to show for working. We rent and will never be able to afford a house we pay £1400 a month rent! That’s nothing to show for it at the end!

Be kind to yourself OP.
Do something nice today, doesn't need to involve cash but getting some sunshine, doing something you enjoy (read in the park, nice walk, pampering at home with a mini facial, hairwash, little coffee in a nearby cafe with a friend etc).

You're doing an amazing job. It's really hard but by working and getting your little one off into nursery, you're setting yourself up for financial success when they're in school..
as well as helping your little one to also develop, learn from other children and socialise in a positive environment.

There have been a few suggestions on here about maybe reducing your mortgage payments or asking them to pause payments for a few months. Might give you a little breathing space while you wait for cms payments etc. I recall taking a payment break for 3 months once when ds was small, which definitely helped when I was struggling mentally and dealing with lots of debts related to his "father".

Hey we all get like that …you’re really not on your own.
check out Vinted…sell some bits and buy some bits. For you and little one. No need to pay full price for anything. You will be surprised at what you can find that is brand new and cheap cheap cheap.

It's really tough OP but it will get better. The CMS will help a bit and funded hours will come in at some point to help as well.

Does your local area have a free page where people give away their old stuff? I'm just thinking you might get some bits for your child there. People are just glad to get rid of stuff.

It’s really hard, op, and I can’t see any obvious savings from your post. But the extra £280 will make a big difference- if you can cover the basics then that £280 is fun money/emergency fund, which I think will make everything feel much easier.

Do check that you are getting the single person discount on your council tax.

I would give up on the idea of building substantial savings or paying extra mortgage until your dc is out of nursery. It’s really normal not to be able to save at this point in life so don’t let that be an extra stress.

My advice would be to get your hair done even if it lands you in your overdraft for a couple of months. A new haircut can make the world of difference to how you feel. That’s just my opinion though and I wouldn’t try to persuade you if you aren’t comfortable with that.

You are in the thick of it right now. Nursery costs are crippling!! But when your kid(s) are out of nursery it will be a huge financial relief. It’s not forever. Just hold on to that and get through the months.

Crikey, the race to the bottom posts on this thread are insane. We really do hate people that live well in this country don't we. OP says she has a tiny amount left for her DC and her to live on after payday and she's told to be grateful. Spends £60 a week on food and is told that's far too much. Yes some people have less but that doesn't make everyone's else's worries and concerns invalid.

Probably people will flame me for suggesting such a thing but as you seem to dislike your job, and the childcare fees and travel costs (I'm guessing these are work related?) are horrendous, can you not stop working for awhile, take a career break and claim UC til your little one starts school, then reconsider?
As a single parent especially I'm pretty sure that would actually make you better off!
There is such a stigma about claiming benefits, but it's not like you're going to be sitting on your bum doing nothing for years on end.It would be a short term solution to a temporary problem.
IMO you would be a very worthy claimant.

@Mnoccju are there any cheaper childcare options near you? Maybe a childminder instead of a nursery?

@ooooohnoooooo Salary Sacrifice is NOT a childcare scheme and it's also not new.

You pay from your gross wages into your pension so it brings your taxable income threshold down. You need to be below 100k adjusted net/taxable income to be eligible for the Tax-free childcare scheme and also for the funded childcare hours.

Salary sacrifice has been around for years.

The problem is that the dads only pay a minimal amount..it doesn’t make any difference to the standard of living.

My daughter has the same problem as a renter,absolutely no chance of saving for a deposit. We are considering downsizing to free up money for a deposit for her . But we have 2 other children and want to treat all kids fairly…it really is tricky!

Absolutely this. I'm so sick of these men who absolve themselves of all responsibility for their own children.

It’s terrible that wages are bad and housing costs are too high. The quality of life is so rubbish

How do you claim child benefit on that wage ? You must earn 70?
Sorry if I’m being stupid .

Could you look at the cost of maybe a childminder instead of a nursery? Might work out cheaper 🤷‍♀️

Be glad you have something left, many people don't even have that and there is an end is sight for you. Many people on a fraction of what you are have no hope of dropping out a bill soon.

Let's ignore the goady posts - otherwise they take over the thread.

OP I'm sorry you feel so down about money but I can only echo what the others have said, it's not for much longer that you'll have such a big childcare bill.

The good thing is that small children don't need lots of money spent on them like teenagers do.

Yes it is expensive isn't it. That. Is. Her. Point

How many children do you have in nursery if it's just one that is expensive