To think it is insane I have no financial security?

It’s not just the admin and it’s not just calling a nursery and asking if they’re game.

The partnership is formal and the nursery has to guarantee a place and the parent has a say in how resources are spent/used

The ERNI savings are modest and whilst that may be an incentive for some employers, it’s unlikely to push it over.

I’m not saying it’s without merit but I just want to give the full picture in case anyone thinks it’s really straightforward.

@Merryoldgoat agreed. But there is a benefit to employers ( they pay less. Employers NI) to set it up and this is just one scheme- there are many providers. And they can add new nurseries on too.

It definitely worth everyone in employment to at least ask as it could save them a fortune. My kids are well past nursery age but if I was at that stage I'd be pushing my employer hard to set it up - hell I'd even offer to do the admin myself to get set up !

My grocery budget includes toilet paper, cleaning products, soap and shampoo. Some weeks I need more than others. I have no idea how people could spend less.

Sorry just read how old your baby is. We are just coming to then end of this nursery fee nightmare for 2 babies. We are going to be rich it feels like! You will be skint for a couple of years but once it's over you will be better off and happier about your situation I assume.

Do you claim your free hours for nursery?

Also just to check you are on the government tax free childcare scheme? (£2 is added to every £8 you put in)

Sorry OP it's really hard. As others have said really it's your childcare bill. Will the 15 free hours help at all from September for you?

The things I would consider include are you really happy with the nursery or have you looked at childminders who are often about a third cheaper.

We also extended our mortgage so when rates were lower and before we had children we only had a 16 years mortgage. When our rate was renewed we changed this to 30 years so significantly reduced our bill. Obviously I hope in a few years we can afford to bring it back down again. Personally I felt this way we are still paying off some capital.

Is changing jobs/companies an option? Not necessarily for more pay although that would help but somewhere with more family/flexible working policies that allow you to maybe do compressed hours?

Finally a friend of mine managed to sell enough on vinted to make about £400 over 3 months! It's definitely something I need to get into.

It is but it requires the employer to set up a partnership with the nursery and only that nursery is used.

It’s not vouchers like before - it’s an inflexible scheme and lots of places that use it have attached nurseries for staff (universities, hospitals etc).

It’s certainly not open to all and like PP have mentioned requires agreed contractual changes and may not be suitable for all.

Oh yes interest free credit cards.

quite a few are offering long deals at the minute- I’ve just got 27 months at 0%. That will get you nearly to the end of nursery, you’ll only need to transfer the remaining balance once before your salary increases.

A lot of these posters concede they've been batch cooking since they were 12 so already have a freezer full of curry sauces and lasagne and are starting with a fully-stocked pantry!

As your problem is entirely childcare related and will gradually ease as the free hours kick in and eventually DC starts school I would carefully ease the gap in your finances for essentials with cheap credit card debt.

Obviously don't use it as an excuse to go on a spending spree but use 0% spending cards when you need something you can't afford.

Just keep transferring the debt to keep it at 0% and then pay it off when your childcare fees reduce and/or your income increases. That's what I would do and if your income is secure the risk of bad debt is low.

Can posters who think £60 a week on shopping is massive, maybe post their shopping lists please?

I really need to get mine down!

@ChirpyBee @EmeraldRoulette

It's definitely a thing.

https://childcaresalarysacrifice.com/?utmterm=childcare%20salary%20sacrifice%20uk&utmmcampaign=CSSCampaign11v1&utmsource=adwords&utmmmedium=ppc&hsaacc=8914215094&hsaacam=21409296192&hsagrp=166957622867&hsaaad=704009627753&hsasrc=g&hsaatgt=kwd-1636201002134&hsakw=childcare%20salary%20sacrifice%20uk&hsaamt=b&hsanet=adwords&hsaaver=3&gadsource=1&gbraid=0AAAAACdXxpJe4vbwE8fHHTZsXSU3V4776&gclid=CjwKCAjw4f6zBhBVEiwATEHFVlioUcCWmg7xVOOUxzfDYstaQnzciWg8CjljBIrmeDliubThRumcMhoCquoQAvDBwE

Happy to retract that.

I am fat and I live on stodge. So that will be why my bills are cheap.

When I'm wrong, I say that I'm wrong and clearly I am wrong. I apologise.

I do think it bears repeating about the utility direct debits.

Twice in the last two years, I had to claim back £300 off them - and they tried very hard to argue that my bills would go up so they could justify the direct debit.

I have been posting on the "Overheated newbuild" threads... So it was extremely obvious that their estimated bills were mad!

But I think that happens to a lot of people - so it's worth a check.

For perspective, we live in a biggish city in France, the cost of nursery here depends on your income. We were at the highest level (which is not that high, starts at around 6000€ per month combined income of both parents) and we were paying around 50€ a day for nursery (daughter is ten now, so it will have gone up).

School starts at age 3, but they don't go on Wednesdays so you have to find a childcare solution for that.

There's no child benefit if you only have one child, but there are various (income dependent) benefits for under 3s. It was still an expensive time for us, but compared to our friends in England (especially the south East) it was manageable.

The uk is so stacked up against resident parents (usually mothers) isn’t it! Look at those nursery costs - how can it be fair that only one of the parents is responsible for paying them?! It will get better but it doesn’t mean that you can’t have a good complain about how unfair it is. Because it is very unfair.

Have you checked if you are entitled to uc given your childcare costs are so high?

It's the nursery fees OP. I cannot get my head around how this country gets it so wrong. Childcare is heavily subsidised in so many European countries and it is outstanding in quality. They value child development etc. In this country, the higher ups do not give a shit and it doesn't improve even when they go to school. There is no thought, no care, just how can we do this as cheaply as possible?

Life in au pair would be loads cheaper and probably solve a lot of your problems

I too have a stressful job but I only earn half your salary, therefore can't get a mortgage for more than £120k. You're doing really well! In 4 years it will all feel worth it

Just a caveat with salary sacrifice- get advice before you commit and thoroughly check your t&c’s

my job (nhs) it was effectively renegotiating your salary. So I would have had a new contract at salary-childcare vouchers.

the knock on effect was lower pension payments, sick leave, mat leave, death benefits, plus loss of negotiating power should I get a new job as I would be starting from the contracted salary, not my “real” salary.

it wasn’t worth it for me. So as I said I asked the bank for interest only- I set up an offset mortgage so any savings I did manage reduced the interest on the capital long term. So I paid the interest, had savings for emergencies, and those savings were the same as repaying the capital long term.

This is WRONG.

That article refers to using salary sacrifice to reduce your tax liability on other items not including childcare, but also lowers your adjusted income to below certain thresholds for things like the free childcare hours and child benefit.

The tax free childcare is for every £80 you put in the gov put £20 in (which in reality is a 25% uplift, but most referred to as 20% as they pay 20% in every pound).

Agree childminder or live in au pair would probably be cheaper. You are doing well OP. You have a well paid job and a mortgage on your own place. Be proud of what you have achieved. Keep going.