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AIBU?

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AIBU to be annoyed at husband falling asleep in the evening?

61 replies

Pam3197 · 28/06/2024 20:22

I'm regularly finding myself really annoyed with my husband for falling asleep in the evenings. I'm not even really sure why I feel annoyed, and it makes be feel bad to feel this way.

He regularly (I'd say most days) falls asleep when he gets home after work. Sometimes he falls asleep while watching our 1yo when I make dinner, sometimes when we are all spending time together as a family, sometimes he leaves the dinner table before we're finished and I'll find him asleep on the sofa, and often during our daughters bedtime routine when we read together as a family. He also falls asleep if we're watching TV together in the evenings, it doesn't annoy me quite as much but I still find myself prodding him to wake him up or asking if we should turn off the TV and go to bed.

Is this normal? Am I normal for being annoyed by it? I feel like I'm nagging him to stay awake, and I feel guilty that I'm getting annoyed with it as he's obviously tired. He does work a physically demanding job (9-5, not ridiculous hours) and I'm at home with our daughter so maybe that's why he has less energy than me, but it's even at the weekend when he's off. He has had a few tests recently for unrelated issues but all came back fine so it doesn't seem medical.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Circumferences · 28/06/2024 20:44

Does he drink alcohol?

Pam3197 · 28/06/2024 20:42

Pam3197 · 28/06/2024 20:42

Re: the comments about night sleep, he sleeps like a log 11-6:30. He does have sleep apnoea as far as I know, he rarely snores. I guess it annoys me because whilst he's sleeping I'm looking after our LO/cooking/doing housework. And our LO still doesn't sleep great at night so I'm up several times a night and I'm feeling tired too, but I can't sleep in the day! I do think he is genuinely tired, which is why I feel bad for feeling annoyed.

That should say he DOESN'T have sleep apnoea as far as I know!

OP posts:
Pam3197 · 28/06/2024 20:42

Re: the comments about night sleep, he sleeps like a log 11-6:30. He does have sleep apnoea as far as I know, he rarely snores. I guess it annoys me because whilst he's sleeping I'm looking after our LO/cooking/doing housework. And our LO still doesn't sleep great at night so I'm up several times a night and I'm feeling tired too, but I can't sleep in the day! I do think he is genuinely tired, which is why I feel bad for feeling annoyed.

OP posts:
WombatStewForTea · 28/06/2024 20:35

ZebraD · 28/06/2024 20:30

Does he have sleep apnoea?? That can seriously affect tiredness …

I was also thinking this. Yeah people fall asleep when tired after work but he sounds excessive (or a convenient way to get out of family time - only you know what he's like OP)

MrsClownland · 28/06/2024 20:34

It's not normal to sleep every evening like that. Does he end up going to bed late after the nap? Because that will lead to more tiredness the next day, etc. A sleep reset with some early nights might help - or what about a Power Nap after work, for a certain length of time?

Shiningout · 28/06/2024 20:34

The thing is I feel knackered looking after a young child and working full time housework etc and everything alone but I don't have the option to just fall asleep when I want. If hes supposed to be watching the child then he should try and stay awake, single parents don't have the option! If he can't then he needs to see the doctor. But once the child is in bed I'd let him sleep as that's completely reasonable.

ZebraD · 28/06/2024 20:30

Does he have sleep apnoea?? That can seriously affect tiredness …

Sookafatwan · 28/06/2024 20:29

You cant really fake sleeping!! Perhaps try working on his nighttime routine.

BestZebbie · 28/06/2024 20:29

Does he snore? Might he not be getting high quality sleep at night, on top of the physical work in the day?

MissingKitty · 28/06/2024 20:28

I can’t imagine he’s falling asleep just to piss you off. He works full time and has a 1 year old, it’s a tiring time. It’s annoying but he’s not doing anything wrong.

missmollygreen · 28/06/2024 20:28

Is it normal to be tired after a physically demanding job? Of course its normal.
Im sure he isnt falling asleep to piss you off. He is just tired