Long story short. I was in a 20 year marriage which ended 7 years ago due to ex-h having an affair. We have 4 dc.
Dd2 was 18 yesterday and I should mention has some mental health issues and there was an incident last week.
Ex-h hasn’t spoken to me since March because I filed for divorce but contacted me week before last informing me that he was going on holiday from day before dds birthday until Saturday.
I said I was delighted he was getting away and didn’t mention dds birthday as she had already told me his plans ans that she said to do whatever he wanted to do.
after dd’s incident last week, her father and her had a fallout and a lot came out including how upset she was that he put her in the position of deciding wether it was ok if he want away over her 18th or not.
I advised him to keep to his plans as she has told him it was ok so what could he do.
my dm then decided, seeing he was away, to ask us all out for lunch as he would beware to be offended.
his mother then talked him into changing his plans and he advised me he would be here for her birthday after all.
i informed him we had a lunch bed with my mother ad he said he would come later in the evening.
Yesterday his mother came to see dd and was asking how the lunch was etc.
I got a text last night from ex advising me that I was ‘rude, selfish and ‘unmannered’ for not opening the invite to him and his parents given how they give lifts etc to the dc.
i feel a bit put out as my parents and his have no relationship after his parents supported him after his affair and I feel that if they wanted to do something with my adult dd, they could have arranged it with her directly.
side note ive had them here before and invited the to celebrations but after they accepted his mistress into their lives, I stepped back bc r my own sanity.
aibu?