To expect to share alcohol?

I'd have felt the same. I bet your contribution wasn't a small amount either - sounds like they made profit!

Hardly fussy not to want cheap shit?

Given you're so fussy about food OP, why didn't you do the food shop yourself?

Leaving aside the violence where obviously the guy was in the wrong. I think if you let someone else have control of the buying without communicating it's not surprising there can be mismatched expectations. Some people think fresh squeezed fruit juice, yoghurt and pastries would be a nice holiday breakfast, others would treat themselves to sugary cereal and a load of sausages. Neither is wrong.

I'm assuming the violent guy saw everyone else sharing similar drinks to each other and was keeping himself to his own drinks but thought he was being generous by offering a glass of his spirit, then got upset when he thought his stuff was continuing to be consumed when he wouldn't want any of the wine or beers. I'm a fussy eater and experience similar with sharing plates or tapas - offer the person sitting next to me a taste of mine even though I've said I won't join in the general ordering and before I know it everyone is helping themselves to my plate and I end up hungry as I don't want theirs. It can be awkward to remind a group you can't eat their food and people can inadvertently get carried away taking mine. Like your husband taking a glass of vodka without realising the man brought the amount he thought only he would drink.

Don't go away with other people is the moral of this story, unless you know them well. This story brought back memories of a very similar situation when I was in my 20s, minus the violence, and I've not done a break like that since. In our group it was agreed that the one smoker in the group shouldn't need to go outside for a cigarette and when I got home I had to bin anything I couldn't wash as it all reeked. I had no idea that would have been the group norm (early 2000s).

All the posters here berating the op for cheap white bread, cheap rashers, sausages.
Imagine you giving someone money to buy stuff and they bring back loads of the stuff you hate.
We all have stuff we don't like.
So imagine giving them £30nd they bring back your most hated item.
Something that you'd never eat.
That's how the op felt.

Communal buying like this never works as people have different norms and expectations and like different things.

Whilst they were probably knowingly on the make by buying loads of stuff they normally buy expecting it not to be used so they can take it home I don't think they maliciously bought cheap shit it's just they bought what they eat.

I would never eat value basics food either (sausages come in three levels with the good stuff 90% pork, standard stuff 70% and cheap shit about 30%) but everyone had their level.

On this thread people have turned their nose up at tea bags and mentioned getting loose leaf tea. Who the fuck buys loose leaf tea. And I'd happily buy nescafe and orange juice from concentrate but apparently that's not good enough either.

Failing to discuss and communicate was the issue here. Telling them you were veggie but then buying loads of bacon was inconsiderate but how would they know you wanted pastries if you didn't tell them

How much of their drink did DH drink? You said he helped himself to a second glass (after he was poured a first glass), but in the op it says they were counting every time he helped himself?

they are bang out of line but maybe they wouldn’t have minded one or two glasses.

what did you DH take for his drink? Did he offer any of his?

I can't believe the hard time you are getting here, OP! THey behaved appallingly, he attacked your DP and posters here are basically victim blaming you, as if you deserved it for being "snobbish" about white bread and baked beans! (subtext: you think you are better than working class people - the only people who obviously like white bread - therefore you deserve being beaten up).
I hope you never have to see them again!

If PPs would actually read @Riversideandrelax ‘s posts, they’d see that the OP says (upthread) that she’s knows she’s not unreasonable about the attack on her husband. That’s not what she’s asking for other opinions about!

She’s asking about the sharing of food and in particular of wine and vodka.

And she’s not unreasonable about that, either. The other couple sound, at best, weird, and at worst, cheap grifters. Spending £90 on crap food - and sliced white bread, instant coffee, and shop-bought fairy cakes are - objectively - crap.

I don’t know why some PPs are intent on putting the boot into the OP. She sounds as though he and her DH are polite and non-confrontational - hence leaving the company of the nasty couple as quietly as they could.

Again, why is everybody talking about the bread?

"These people bought me cheap bread. Then they attacked my husband."

And nearly everybody focuses on the bread?

(To be fair, I am rather surprised that OP even mentioned the bread. I can only suppose it was to give context as to how the dispute started. But it really is of no relevance who would or wouldn't be happy with the bread (and the biscuits, crisps etc) compared to the fact that somebody physically attacked her husband).

What an unpleasant and rather judgy post

Why wouldn't someone be irked to pay a considerable food for inedible food, perfectly entitled to that and why wouldn't they leave if someone became violent, sounds rather sensible

OP I think you are not unreasonable to have assumed for £90 kitty that you'd be getting some nice brekker and the quantities of food they bought was frankly ridiculous. Especially as they knew one of the party was vegetarian so why so many sausages and bacon?

And all these people who are criticising you for being snobbish ... I don't think they'd also have thought by contributing £30 to a £90 kitty that they'd be getting enormous volumes of cheap ingredients.

For sure, some people don't care about what brand bacon and sausages and what sort of eggs. And that's fine, but then don't ask for a £30 contribution for a couple of fry ups. So I think this couple were honestly really CF to have asked for so much money.

And yes all of this pales compared to the actual incident itself !

It doesn't matter how many times you have said "I didn't want to offend" "I didn't want to appear snobby", you then follow it up by reiterating your snobbery.

I presume this was one weekend ? You could have just sucked it up. Honestly, you aren't coming across well here.

Obviously there is no excuse for someone to "start a physical fight", of course there isn't. Everyone on the thread agrees with that, but how strange for you to then leave. Surely the other couple would have backed you saying to them "I think you should leave in the morning" rather than you scuttling away in the night.

I too, would like to hear the two other versions of what happened - one from the couple who you approve of and one from the couple who you clearly think are beneath you.

It doesn't matter how many times you have said "I didn't want to offend" "I didn't want to appear snobby", you then follow it up by reiterating your snobbery.

I presume this was one weekend ? You could have just sucked it up. Honestly, you aren't coming across well here.

Obviously there is no excuse for someone to "start a physical fight", of course there isn't. Everyone on the thread agrees with that, but how strange for you to then leave. Surely the other couple would have backed you saying to them "I think you should leave in the morning" rather than you scuttling away in the night.

I too, would like to hear the two other versions of what happened - one from the couple who you approve of and one from the couple who you clearly think are beneath you.

What a strange post.

OP why wasn’t a discussion had beforehand about what food was being ordered? Whenever I’ve gone away as part of a group, any food orders are made with each person’s input (or at least, approval of what to buy). Why didn’t this happen? I just find it really hard to believe that you didn’t think to check what they were going to buy.

Sharing alcohol is unusual in my group of friends, most people don’t do this. I’m unsure as to why you’d assume that this would need to be stated outright.

I think there’s a lot of detail that’s been conveniently left out of this story in order to paint the other couple in a negative light.

I have read most of this thread, may have missed the odd post, and I must say it strikes me as strange over all, and the weirdest thing is how many of the posts focus on the nature of the food, what type of bread and coffee it was etc.....

THIS MAN PHYSICALLY ATTACKED OP'S PARTNER!!!!

I assume he wasn't badly hurt, or OP would have mentioned it, but fuck me, being attacked by people you have gone on holiday with is SERIOUSLY fucking extreme! (And I don't come from an especially sheltered background, believe me).

The fact they bought food OP doesn't like - inevitable when people are shopping with people they don't know. The failure to share alcohol - happens....

But punching your husband??? He"s lucky your husband didn't call the cops. And I am frankly AMAZED that he was still welcome at the birthday meal after this attack - I'd be very unhappy if my friends continued to socialise with somebody who had done this. Do they understand the extent of it, and that it was entirely unprovoked?