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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I bring this up as an issue to my boyfriend?

41 replies

PineapplePeaches · 28/06/2024 12:37

Been together a year and a half.

At the beginning we were very flirty. He’d say things to me like “I’m crazy attracted to you 😫” and “you’re honestly so attractive”. Texts were quite vulgar haha and lots of dirty talk.

Nowadays, we do have regular sex and we are intimate with cuddling, holding hands etc. He will sometimes rub my hips or slap my bum (lol - I’m completely fine with this) when walking past.

However, flirting just feels a bit wooden now?
I sent him a picture of me at work wearing his favourite dress of mine (quite figure hugging). He said “I love that! 🥰”

I called him at lunch to let him know about plans for later, and then I said I’m not coming home first. I said I wish I could, and I said maybe I’ll keep this dress on for later, flirting. He said “you can do whatever you want!” I said “yeah maybe you can take it off for me” and he said “yes please!” I asked why and he said awkwardly “well I like seeing you naked!” And then changed the subject.

I find that nowadays, rather than saying things similar to what he used to say, he’s more ‘cutesy’. If I offer sex or anything, he said “yes please!” In a cutesy tone. If I say he’s attractive or fit, he’ll simply say “you’re so attractive too”. He won’t often say it first but if he does it just sounds more awkward?
After sex he’ll say “that was amazing!” And that’s it. He doesn’t talk during it.

i don’t know if any of this is making sense. He’s still so lovely to me and we are affectionate and he looks after me. However I just worry maybe that initial attraction isn’t there and he’ll look somewhere else?

I’ve asked similar before and he told me I’m being silly and of course he finds me just as attractive.

Is it worth bringing up as an issue or am I wasting my time?

OP posts:
Wafflefudge · 28/06/2024 12:57

If someone asked me why I'd feel awkward too. Bit awkward on your part there.

Cas112 · 28/06/2024 12:57

I said “yeah maybe you can take it off for me” and he said “yes please!” I asked why and he said awkwardly “well I like seeing you naked!” And then changed the subject.

If your gonna force it out of him course it will feel awkward

Have you never been in a long term relationship before? Of course it dies down, he's still being affectionate so doesn't sound like there is a problem on his behalf

trextape · 28/06/2024 12:54

I said “yeah maybe you can take it off for me” and he said “yes please!” I asked why and he said awkwardly “well I like seeing you naked!” And then changed the subject.

you asked “why”? 😕

PineapplePeaches · 28/06/2024 12:54

Lived together 6 months, both 28

OP posts:
trextape · 28/06/2024 12:52

how long lived together
how old are you both?

PineapplePeaches · 28/06/2024 12:50

I know but now he doesn’t initiate, definitely doesn’t say much flirty himself. Now he just awkwardly reciprocates what I say??

OP posts:
Fontainebleau007 · 28/06/2024 12:46

Relationships change and develop over time. They wont always be like it was in the beginning. He sounds like he loves you and is into you. I'm not really seeing an issue here.

Dontletme · 28/06/2024 12:46

I think it’s normal for all the excitement to die down a bit after eighteen months.

Lifeisamysterytome · 28/06/2024 12:45

If you've been together for 18 months you can't expect things to be the same as when you first got together.
Sounds as though he is still into you but in a more familiar way while you seem to want him to be stuck in the time warp of that first intense attraction.

trextape · 28/06/2024 12:43

when did you move in together? how old are you both?

Aquamarine1029 · 28/06/2024 12:43

Relationships mature and settle down, op. Do you really expect a relationship to always be like it was in the beginning?

Mounjaroooooh · 28/06/2024 12:42

I've read a very similar post to this, have you posted it before?

PineapplePeaches · 28/06/2024 12:42

Yes we do

OP posts:
trextape · 28/06/2024 12:42

you live together?

PineapplePeaches · 28/06/2024 12:39

No of course I can’t. I just don’t know if I’m panicking over nothing

OP posts:
trextape · 28/06/2024 12:39

even if you bring up
you can’t force him to feel differently

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