To let Dd skive off tomorrow because of sports day?

@EatTheGnome has it spot on.

I have been a volunteer at DD’s sports day and yes there were kids who weren’t sporty but everyone was encouraged to try. The taking part was important as well as exercise. Getting out of your comfort zone is a skill and I can’t tell you how many children (not just in sports) whose stock response is “I can’t”.

Sports day I could take or leave but the swimming gala, I loathed with a passion because I hated swimming. I still got entered in 100 and two hundred meters and always came last or second to last. It was one day of the year and I survived every year. The art of not giving a fuck what others think, or what you believe others think about you, is a skill that can’t be taught earlier enough.

My advice would be to talk to her about her fears.

Not actually sure letting her opt out completely is ‘solving the problem’. Isn’t that just telling her that you agree she’s rubbish at sport? Do other children opt out? She will be much more visible in not going at all IMO if all the other children give it a go and she doesn’t.

maybe better to show her you believe in her and will support her if she feels embarrassed or upset at coming last - being a good loser is an important life skill. She might even surprise herself and do things she didn’t know she could do.

Most people wait until their mindset has evolved beyond that of a bunch of 11 or 12 year olds before they take on parenthood- which might be why a lot of us disagree about that approach. It’s not that we don’t “ think carefully.” On the contrary, we work from a position of adult perspective.

I think people generally are less biddable than they used to be. If schools keep running shouty old fashioned sports days that only the minority of athletic kids actually enjoy and everyone else hates more people are going to vote with their feet. Good.

I don't think you should be making plans for next year to opt out again.

I think you should talk to the school about having a better plan for sports day next year, and perhaps get some other parents on side for this. A sports day can be one that covers both the sporty children (for whom it may be the only thing they are better than average at) and those who are not. The range of activities, children who can be the ones to start a race or be the judge where it applies, for example.

You can argue that even though your child does not have a disability, there may be others who have or develop one, and the school can use sports day to build confidence if done in a certain way.

Yes, it's easy to see where that poster's Year 7 child has picked up her godawful attitude from. There seems to be something about this topic that encourages the pro sports day posters to share their parenting fails.

God this thread has been invaded by weirdos! Being proud that your child ostracises other kids for not toeing the party line! Extolling the virtues of being “group minded”?! You can see how the Stasi got one third of the population recruited as its spies in post war Germany !

You did the right thing op sounds like a lovely day.

Well done @Cadela.

Why so passive aggressive nasty?

Well done, OP. Your daughter will always remember her lovely day and how you had her back xx

Is “ group-minded” supposed to be a compliment?

God where to start! Your child being smug at someone else’s expense is nothing to be proud of. She could have been simply pleased that she overcame a barrier of her own. Not wanting to take part in an activity doesn’t mean you’re not a team player FFS. And actually it’s more courageous to not do something than to only do it so you got in and don’t risk being called a ‘wet blanket’ by someone. Ridiculous attitude.

@Leftleg exactly this.. I was exercise/sport averse during school because it was shoved down my throat & was mostly team related, guess who was picked last? or that horse thing you had to jump on or over! Now I happily (sometimes!) jog & swim & all the rest, in my school now the kids love P.E. but that's cos it's mostly games, not a fucking Beep Test

Well I absolutely hated it, all PE lessons filled me with dread. It didn't benefit me in anyway being forced to do PE and sports day. So I won't force mine to do sports day in secondary as it's all day so no other lessons.
After I finished school I have actually enjoyed lots of different exercise.

Sports Day was a nightmare for me, same as weekly P.E. I've managed to be OK for the rest of my life, obtain a degree & even have a career believe it or not, let her off, it's not character building, it's humiliating if it's not your thing

My children love sport. They love PE. They are always swimming or playing football or doing sports lessons.

But sports day at our school always seems to be on a day so hot it ought to be cancelled, and some of the parents are vile and screaming and yelling throughout.

Football clubs these days tend to try and clamp down on screaming from the sidelines and I don't think it should be ok on sports day.

Plus you seem to have forgotten that children can have all sorts of disabilities. I longed to be an active child but my body had other ideas. My parents were active and sporty. My genetic condition means I can't be. We don't make dyslexics perform a spelling bee in front of everyone's parents. Or make people with dyscalculia do a mental arithmetic test on stage

Sounds like a very inclusive sports day if there is no races and no “winning”. Sounds like a fun afternoon trying new sports with friends.

I’d speak with the teacher about your daughter’s concerns.

A wet blanket?

Maybe instead you could teach your child about invisible disability. About how people can have conditions you can't see, sometimes conditions they don't even know they have yet. I would say these people are incredibly tough, they fight battles noone knows. Pretty much everyone with my condition (congenital Myasthenic syndrome) recall these kind of nasty comments at school. And there are lots of similar conditions that often go undiagnosed for years. Plus dyspraxia and other forms of neuro diversity. And stress /,periods/ coming down with a bug, dealing with grief or a trauma or mental health problems

Sometimes the people who are sneered at for being weak are actually the strongest.

Why wasn’t she allowed to be in teams?

Well done OP. Childhood and school are hard enough without all that additional shite.

Do you know how horrendous sports day is for dyspraxic, neurodiverse children. My daughter was always ostracised in PE lessons and during sports day. She was never allowed to be part of teams either so not taking part in races that would make her feel even worse quite frankly doesn’t make her a wet blanket. You and your daughter sound vile.

Same. It’s such a nice day we have a big picnic on the field and have ice creams and stuff, the kids really enjoy it.
It’s not the Olympics it’s just a bunch of primary kids having fun. They’re not being judged by anyone . I’m not sure I’d call an egg and spoon race sport tbh! It’s just physical activity. It’s only really in year 4-6 at our school they can pick to do running races and they choose which ones they want to do. And any child coming in last always gets a massive cheer from everyone.

Wow. I don’t understand the hate for sports day? We love it. It’s always a really enjoyable day for the kids - and parents. They all encourage each other. It’s sport - there’s meant to be a winner, that’s what it’s all about.
For those that aren’t keen, I guess they copy their parents lead? Sports keep you fit and feeling good. It’s a positive thing to encourage.

Sounds like none of this would've happened if Layla had been allowed to opt out in the first place, so I'm not sure that's making the point you think it is...