To let Dd skive off tomorrow because of sports day?

Of course it doesn’t cause mental illness! My point is that it is ridiculous to say all these children can’t do a flipping sack race because it causes them to have anxiety!!
This nonsense of being allowed to opt out is what causes the long term issues!!!

If not attending sports day causes mental illness then sounds like we'd better stop doing sports day 👍🏻

I also am in no way ‘vile’- I just happen to have a different opinion to one you deem to be acceptable. Instead of opting children out of things they find hard they should be supported to do them and experience a sense of accomplishment.

That may be so. But I have worked with socially excluded teens for years and in my also professional experience children who are not set clear expectations, including in relation to following directives set by schools end up problematic as they get older. Most adults with mental health issues were already displaying symptoms by age 9- that is a fact.

Your posts are truly ignorant and vile. They also are the complete opposite to what we were told by professionals working with our daughter.

Not liking doing something isn’t the same as damaging. It is perfectly normal to have nerves and apprehension- it is a normal emotion in life that children need to learn to manage instead of it being labelled as ‘anxiety’ and a mental health issue. Sports days and standing up in front of the class prepare children for adult life. Regardless of whether they are neuro diverse or not they have to be able to function in the working world.

I’ve told you how. Any public competitions in schools should be voluntary.

Some children are humiliated at sports day, some of them are children with other challenges in life and they don't need the baying mob screaming "encouragement" at them. I can't imagine why children who are fine with sports day would give a damn about others missing the "fun" why would they?

Any parent or teacher allowing exclusion because someone missed sports day need to have a long hard think about their attitudes and behaviour.

Because I am pretty sure the likelihood of social exclusion and message sent is much more damaging in the longer term

How exactly is taking part in a primary school sports day ‘damaging’?? As in actually damaging not just out of comfort zone?

The reason you imagine any of this to be common sense is that you've continually failed to understand that sports day is in itself an inherently damaging thing for many. That's what leads you to this nonsense.

Underpinning your whole argument is the idea that a school system that's appalling for many ND people is some universal standard that has to be adhered to. That when people opt out of something that is damaging to them, it's somehow their fault if other people resent it, not the fault of the unreasonable thing that was being expected in the first place. As several of us pointed out, it's quite clear where your daughter got her attitude from.

If you actually work with DC, and it was a very conveniently timed claim, it's rather worrying.

To sum up my points-

1. if a school organises a universal activity, such as sports day or leadership day or some other sort of pastoral learning day, I think as a parent, children should make their children participate even if they don’t want to as there is a clear expectation set by the school the child will join in.
2. I believe children from an early age need to at times experience some things they find uncomfortable as that is life and they will learn that they can do things they find hard and be ok!
3. I think on the whole children have a strong sense of fairness. If they see one of their peers being allowed to not participate in something that they school says they all have to do, it creates unhappiness which ultimately is directed at the child who has been allowed to opt out, leading to potential social exclusion further down the line. It also sends a message to the child who is allowed to opt out that they can do this in the future for other things and as a parent you are ultimately creating a rod for your own back. If you can’t manage a child when they are 7 how do you think you will do it at 15 and school refusing??

Opt out of what, sports day only? I know this is just one example and thus meaningless, but I think it's still worth teasing out exactly what claims you're making with your one whole anecdote.

Absolutely agree that children need to experience difficult and hard situations in life. They also need to know what it is like to win and lose. They also need to do some things they don’t like. All of these things can be experienced without the sheer humiliation that is school sports day. It is never ok to humiliate a child.

@Cadela I'm delighted you had a lovely day xx

Did you say anything to her about such an unpleasant remark?

You shouldn’t be working with young people.

Professionals disagree with you so even though you have appointed yourself as an oracle on the subject you really are not qualified to say what’s best for struggling young people.

I don’t have the experience of one- I have two, the other is very sporty so no issues with sports day- in fact they are neuro diverse and struggles academically but sports day is their chance to shine. I also work with children and young people! Loads who are out of control teenagers who had crappy parenting for numerous reasons but not being expected to engage in school is certainly problematic.

So you as a non professional who has the family experience of 1 are an expert and qualified to say what is best for young people. I think not.

Just imagine if the whole school plus parents were watching her at the board, imagine how she'd feel as they were shouting "encouragement" while she tried to work out the problem.

Hell on earth I'd say.

I'm retired now but was a senior HR manager, recruited numerous people over 40 years. I never once had the slightest interest in what they did on sports day.

I've got 4 adult children, two were sport mad, one was OK about it and one hated it. All have first class degrees, all have post grad qualifications, all are in good jobs, all in long term relationships, all own their own homes. The one who skipped sports day doesn't stand out from the other 3 in any way except they did some very challenging things during gap year/uni. They cope perfectly fine as an adult.

All that from missing sports day?! Nonsense. My 18 year old sports day skipper is basically the exact opposite of that. Top grades / extremely hard working / lots of friends/committed to her sport /thought well of at her Saturday job. Missing a few shit sports days mid primary does not seem to have done lasting damage!

Fat fingers! It’s bringing up kids who think boring? Or hard? Or Stressful? I’ll opt out and mum will tell me I’m wonderful for making the decision to self care. It isn’t an attitude that goes down well with employers, or friends for that matter.

this, it’s not sports day in particular, it’s bringing up kids eho