To let Dd skive off tomorrow because of sports day?

Also it annoys me when people say "oh well it's for the kids who are sporty and not academic". OK but it's not one or the other - plenty of kids are neither sporty nor very clever. It can just have the effect of making them feel shit, and for what purpose?

All very good and well if that is how it plays out in reality but it may well leave her with life long memories of feeling really anxious and put her off sports all together all for the sake of building ‘resilience’.

That if she is scared and worried I won’t force her to put herself in a position that makes her uncomfortable when I, as an adult, can sort it very quickly.

I worry this will not help her resilience later in life. Why was she crying all the way round sports day last year? That’s unusual. I HATED sports day but I didn’t cry all the way round. Do you think she was hoping you’d step in and get her out if it?

My mum let me skive off various sporting events throughout secondary school and I absolutely loved her for it. It really sticks in my memory 20 years later how she went above and beyond, even taking holiday off work, to prevent me from unnecessary anxiety. One time she sent me in with my arm in a sling for a week leading up to high jump in PE. Absolutely keep her off.

This.

There are so many parenting styles on this forum. Many make me cross, but my style probably makes others cross.

OP, don't take those comments to heart. You can only do what you think is right for you and your DD.

I've got a non sporty ds (martial arts and walking up mountains are his thing) who, he admitted recently, never does pe cos he 'forgets ' his kit. School hasn't informed me of this, so clearly they're not arsed either.

He wants to keep his 100 attendance, but he shay hates sports day, so is angling for the day off. I'm very much of the 'you're going into school, even if your leg's hanging off. If it falls off they'll call me' category, but it's actually made me think. As far as he's concerned it's a waste of a day. He's shit at everything and hates all the sitting round having to talk shit to other kids. They're not allowed phones. He'd rather be in lessons. If they could stick him in the library all day, he'd be happy.

I'd keep her home. I adore sports, played everything as kid. Played for a girls football team too. But I hated sports day. I remember very clearly being forced to do the dressing up race and crying the whole time doing it.
It's not something essential imo. So long as she's active in other ways, this can be skipped.

Dd never asks for days off, never pretends to be sick etc. But this has upset her so much the last couple of weeks that tonight at bedtime she was basically hysterical.

If she has been upset for weeks about it then I would keep her off tbh. You will not achieve anything by sending her in. She might just refuse to do the whole thing.

Our sports day was today. My kids are y1 and y4 and haven't loved the idea of sports day approaching but they haven't been too bad. My y1 ended up enjoying it and had fun which was the main thing. My y4 however cried most of the way through it and hardly participated. If he gets upset in the build up to it next year I'm not going to make him do it. Fortunately our school are reasonable and don't force them to do things they really aren't up for.

But they also have PE lessons where they have the same struggles. Just not as public as sports day. Just like the maths lessons aren't as public.

My DD has a few medical conditions that make running and walking long distances difficult for her and her school were well aware of this. They had one inter-school compulsory cross country day held at the school about a mile away. She came in last (unsurprisingly) but they'd already packed down the finish line and most of her school had already buggered off back to her own school and only one teacher was waiting for her. She was feeling proud she'd completed it until she saw what was (wasn't) waiting for her at the end.

I've let DD skip ever since.

Is she overweight?

it’s a stranger on an online forum. They literally know nothing about you, please don’t let it affect you like that. I’m sure you are doing a fantastic job with your dd.

Really? Nothing?

Not the resilience? The lesson that we all have to do things we don't like/enjoy sometimes? The empathy to consider the children that are only really successful in PE so they have a day to feel successful? Team building? Cheering on classmates that aren't necessarily friends (kindness)? Sportsmanship? Perseverance? Healthy lifestyle/fitness? The pride of doing your best at something that's not your strength?

Just let the poor girl stay home. What’s the point of making her do something she’ll hate? I don’t know what forcing her to participate achieves, except resentment from her towards you for making her do it? There are plenty of circumstances where getting on with it is required, but I don’t think this is one of them.

I'm keeping one of mine off for sports day next week. He is overly anxious and worrying himself sick about it.
There's nothing whatsoever to be gained from forcing him do it when he hates it to the point of making himself ill.
My child, my choice. Go for it OP.

The problem is that OP has spent weeks telling her child it will be fine and now wants to swoop in in the morning to be the hero that says no sports day! This ought to have been addressed much sooner, as soon as it was apparent that her daughter had genuine anxiety about sports day so that teachers could consider how to address the school problem in school tome on a way that supports ops daughters confidence, such as special jobs.

The school have not been given the opportunity to address the problems.

For all we know teachers have spent time arranging children into groups, perhaps with great care so they are with friends or other kids with similar abilities and now it might need rejigging at the last minute.

OP talks about listening to her child and being a safe space but she's spent weeks brushing off her daughter concerns and now wants to swoop in and rescue her woth a surprise day off.

This has been really poorly handled.

Keep her off. I would dread sports day all year round as a child. I’m still angry about it now in my 50s. They should make it optional and allow other children to cheer, keep score, make daisy chains, serve squash etc. I think more children would like it if it wasn’t compulsory humiliation.

Do your dc not have PE every week in which their athletics ability is apparent to their peers? And yes your school is unreasonable to make the kids who are not good at maths perform once a year in front of all the parents. What about those who are bad at maths and sports?

Tbh when it came to sports day I didn't make an excuse. I just phoned up and said they wouldn't be attending. That was generally the only day they had off all year so 🤷‍♀️

This x 100

There's a stomach bug doing the rounds, maybe she has it now.

This is so true! The maths scores don't get posted all over the place for everyone to see. And sports day can be very loud and busy and hard work if you're not into it.

If she was constantly trying to get out of things, or if school were at least willing to accommodate her a little bit and encourage her, I'd send her in, but as a one-off I think I'd keep her home.

My DD is similar and just refused to run last time. The teacher got her to help with setting up the races, which she enjoyed. We'll try again next year.

They don't have a special maths day, where everyone competes though, do they?

I was good at athletics and i hated sports day. If her attendance is good just keep her off