To let Dd skive off tomorrow because of sports day?

Keeping her off doesn’t solve the problem, it just puts it off for another year. You do need to address this with the school whatever you do, and sign DD up for a sports/swimming/dance class of her choice.

Yup. Have a lovely duvet day. Sport isn’t something you should be forced to do for a whole sodding day.

Personally I wouldn’t because I think it’s good to face things we don’t want to do and know that we’ll get through them and then they’re done. I wouldn’t want to give the message that it’s ok to just not do things we don’t want to do.
I would also try to understand why she’s so worried about looking silly in front of year 6s - surely most year 6s are either nice or literally couldn’t care less about 7 year olds?

Life's too short let your DD have the day off and take her somewhere nice.
She'll remember that forever rather than the time you forced her to take part in something she absolutely did not want to do.

You sound like my mum, and your dd like me
She let me stay off sports day and I am still thankful she did. Much better childhood experience to look back and know she wasn't an arse and made me do something that would have caused me extreme distress. Some of us don't have the same confidence as others to compete in front of others I don't think there's anything wrong with that

Eh. We stopped going three years ago. No regrets. She participates in PE and doesn't feel the need to humiliate herself running around a field. I support this and I am happy to facilitate her not going. I would not run around a field, she can make the same choice.

Indeed. There's more to life than ghastly sports - not everyone is good at it, or wants to be. The non competitive gene in sports has run through three generations in our family now - me and my husband (who experienced the worst due to his public school), my daughter and despite huge encouragement my little grandson. And as for those bullying PE teachers - they're responsible for putting kids off sports for life. Keep her off and let her relax and enjoy her day. You're doing absolutely the right thing.

I've voted yanbu because I was this child when I was younger! But I also think try and encourage her to push on through, as it's these tricky situations that often shape us as a person! Bless her though ❤

This
What message does that send?
You don't want to turn up today as it's something you don't like? Stay at home then.

I don't know why people post when they're convinced they're right and not unreasonable.

FWIW I think you are veering into lawnmower parent territory. But you do you. Just don't post 'AIBU?' when you believe you aren't.

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Of course YANBU, it's just one day! My (very sporty) DC skipped many sports days purely because it was a useless badly-organised day. Not everything has to be an elaborate life lesson

To people saying that keeping her off school won’t teach her resilience, I call bullshit.
If, as an adult working in a job, someone suggested an ‘away day’ that involved an activity I knew I’d find embarrassing or humiliating, I’d refuse to do it. There is power in having the self esteem to say ‘no, I won’t be doing that. I’ll happily do xyz but I won’t go doing that’. I would want my daughter to grow up feeling she had the agency to say no to something that caused distress.
That, to me, is real resilience. Why do we not respect children’s feelings?
Forcing children to always do the things that cause distress coz it ‘makes them resilient’ has the opposite effect - it makes them feel unsafe and that they have to suck up feelings of distress and not complain - which is NOT the same as resilience!

You won’t always be there, thats the problem. I won’t always be there to say no on DD’s behalf, I won’t catch every negative experience she has. I have incredible anxiety about my DD and the normal female experience, it’s so important to arm girls well for the future. They need to know they are powerful, they can do it, even if it’s hard, they will survive and then hopefully thrive. But they can’t always rely on others to smooth the path for them. They have to lean on themselves.

Ofcourse it is. I sat naked on my bed and sweated at the thought of going to my friends birthday party (where I knew everyone and they are kind lovely people) also did it for going to work, also for just going to the shops at one point. Anxiety distorts your perspective. It’s the job of people who love you to give you a minute and then tell you it’s fine and you can do it. Not doing it on the other hand breeds more anxiety, avoidance breeds avoidance.

I acknowledge I am talking about clinical anxiety but I can see how children escalate given the right conditions.

You say she was unhappy last year. Is she remembering that or you? (Possibly both?) If she doesn't seem worried then I'd send her in, but if she's totally unhappy then I'd keep her home, go and do something fun instead. I kept DS16 home when he was about 8 and miserable about it. He later got very proficient in the gym and at basketball.

Again, not the only I've raised but I wouldn't do it. People differ.

Points 2 and 3 are worthy of a bit of dig around for more info, in my opinion.

Keep her off tomorrow'
.no question. She's 7 ffs.if she's that upset .I never saw the point of forcing kids into something they hate.makes them hate it worse!9

Missing one day of sport, which has no bearing on future success, is not remotely similar to missing exams or not going to school at all.

It really isn’t. Being a parent is about raising a child to become the best adult they can be. Which includes resilience, perseverance, resolving their own problems, and turning up for things. I’m not saying she has to do all that at seven, but that it’s your job to think about what will help her most in the long term, not just how to make her happier tomorrow.

So? We all have to take lessons at school in subjects we hate, or are not good at. No-one suggests someone who finds maths torture should stay home during a maths lesson. Sport is no different, and kids do need to do more at school than just academic stuff.

What a strange attitude some of you have towards education!

Meh, suck it up, buttercup!

We all have to do crap we don't want to in life. Skiving off for sports day is a bit crap in my opinion. What about exams? Can the kids who turned up for sports day skive off exam day because they just don't like exams?
Where do you draw the line? What about kids who just don't want to go to school? Where does it stop?

But yet no one's questioning the very specific "looking silly in front of Y6" I find that more strange than just not wanting to do sports day because it's sports day.

Also, the crying the whole time last year, no one wants to mention that probably made her look more "silly" than just trying to have fun and coming last?

@ClassicBBQ

tgat OLD argument has more holes than Swiss cheese!!

when kids who aren't good at maths have to stand on stage, on their own, doing maths 'in their head' and answering out loud, in front of all the school, a huge bunch of invited parents then it may start to be a fair comparison.

@Cadela there's part of me that thinks being made to go builds resilience, BUT there's a much bigger part of me that wants to protect her from it AND cannot see the point of it. Enjoy seeing her little face beam when you tell her! 🥳

I always let my kids off sports day. We went to the aquarium and out for lunch. They are pretty good workwise and v good at picking themselves up and having another go generally. One day is not going to have a formative effect on your daughter’s moral fibre and she’s miserable. Do something nice with her. She will always remember that.

If my child felt like this over sports day I would definitely let them stay off school.

But next year if this happens again speak to the school in advance and see if they can come up with a solution.