To let Dd skive off tomorrow because of sports day?

I am sure there are some children who have missed sports day and are fine. The original post was would you do it- and I unequivocally would not for the reasons I have previously stated. To me it simply isn’t the right thing to do. Others disagree. That’s fine to have a different opinion but you won’t convince me that unless the child is going to experience some genuine harm (for example if they all ready have clear psychiatric issues) that they should be allowe to opt out of sports day as I firmly believe all children should not be engaging with the expectations set by the school.

Surely it's possible if not probable that the ability to process and deal with trauma is impacted by under-pinnings of ND? Without careful individual investigation neither can be confidently ruled out?

Hence why some children / people appear to "over-react" to things that others can take in their stride or learn coping mechanisms for more easily?

Also if trauma can literally change neurological pathways and responses, that is in itself a form of induced ND?

Strikes me we have a potential chicken and egg situation IMHO.

Plenty of us have told you about our children or children we know who missed sports day and are perfectly fine functioning adults but you don't want to hear that do you? You work with kids who have problems and you've decided missing sports day is something you can identify as causing their problems. Here's a thought, I bet most of them were born in hospitals so let's insist everyone has a home birth. Problem solved and you will be out of a job.

I hold my hand up to doing both. I applaud parents who have the where with all to work out and decide on what is best for their children and the strength to act on that knowledge.

So back to the op. You are her parent and know what is best for her. I hope you and your daughter had a more productive day than a forced distress inducing sports day.

That is an issue with the education system and is not the case in every school. Like I said- with regards to sports day a child centred approach is what is needed. If a child genuinely is unable to take part an alternative role should be found. If is just a case of nerves or lack of motivation they should be supported to overcome that.

And letting down our children can be forcing children into school day after day when they are struggling or forcing struggling kids to perform on sports day( which is the least important school day of the year) in front of huge crowds.

No- trauma like years of neglect and abuse and witnessing things they shouldn’t. Having a bad day at sports day is not in any way what I regard as trauma.

I have worked for many years in social care and youth- people can put forward all kinds of theories about why children go onto have mental health issues but in my own, on the ground experience- while yes, SOME children have ASD or ADHD, reality is there are a lot or children with basically parents who let them down. And this is what causes the long term problems.

Absolutely this, if you DD doesn't want to take part then I'd let her stay home. My oldest DS used to get very anxious about sports day and the school were sympathetic so he did other things, like help pour the drinks, put any equipment there it should be etc. It won't have any impact on her, to not do it. YANBU

Trauma like other kids being allowed to exclude them?

You do realise that all the children you are working with have problems and that might because of many reasons. Lots of us have told you about happy, well adjusted, successful children who are now grown up with no ill effects from missing sports day. Maybe broaden your sample?

An opinion based on ignorance.

“Trauma- that is usually the root cause. “

Who is attributing everything to ND?

And re functioning in society- define functioning.

You seem to think I am some kind of idiot who doesn’t understand- I do- I just have a different opinion.

We need to stop attributing everything to ‘neuro diversity’ and meet people where they are at. Regardless of what they may have they still need to be able to function in society. Having adhd isn’t an excuse for committing a burglary or steeling a car- yes it may cause impulsivity but they still have to know what is acceptable and what is not.

I am pretty sure addiction has a far bigger impact/ again I know they could be self medicating for the neuro diversity but often it is self medication for traumatic child hoods.

yes I am aware that many in prison are neuro diverse. But that is not the sole cause of their offending. There are many other factors at play.

Well those with expertise actually disagree.https://www.catch-22.org.uk/resources/neurodiversity-in-the-criminal-justice-system/

It also acknowledged that those from the groups you have mentioned are more likely to have gone undiagnosed because of transient lifestyles.

Figures are so high more ND support is being put into prisons.

www.gov.uk/government/news/greater-support-for-neurodivergent-offenders-in-bid-to-cut-crime#:~:text=Neurodiversity%20support%20managers%20are%20now,adult%20prison%20population%20is%20neurodivergent.

It’s shocking you have the attitudes you do
if you are working with the young people you say you are.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=VMpIi-4CZK0

Trauma- that is usually the root cause. Not neuro diversity. Yes- some might be, but many it is attachment and trauma.

I am shocked you are in that job as ND can often be a big cause of what you have listed. You clearly have zero empathy or awareness and a whole lot of ignorance as regards ND.

This!!!!

All that is important is that children are encouraged and supported to keep active and hopefully enjoy a sport. Taking part in events should be voluntary. It is separate to the remit of what PE in schools should do. All enforced Sports Day day( and often crappily taught PE lessons) do is put off the very children who need to be supported and encouraged in physical activity.

These are the sort of children I was thinking about in my posts- not children with diagnosis of ASD.

Children on the periphery of society. Those not engaged in mainstream life. Maybe been in care/ known to criminal justice system, in youth homelessness system. Non school attenders. Used to be referred to as NEET but that terminology isn’t used now.

And what is a “ socially excluded teen”?

Didn’t suggest saying a child was autistic by professionals before diagnosis however recognising, acknowledging and exploring ND which is a massive spectrum is hugely important. My dd would not have become so ill if her NDs had been recognised and acknowledged long before diagnosis.

My child is a team player in other areas. On sports day it's humiliating and forcing him to do it does not make him resilient in this area, it just causes stress. He is resilient in plenty of other areas so enforced Sports day is pointless for him. I was told I needed to be resilient to for pe and sports day, instead it gave me a complete hatred of sports. Is that really what we should be putting out kids through now? Have we learnt nothing?