To feel royally pissed off by H comment

Jesus. That really is some arsehole you're married to.

I think I might be married to a bully.

I'm sorry but I think you're right.

Mate. Based on your last post, just divorce him. Go see a solicitor specialising in family law for the free initial session, and then work on getting him out of the house. Also, if he gets a weekend with the kids for contact you can use that to recharge.

The simplest thing to do to right this tippy boat is to tell him “you first” for everything from childcare to dog poop. Whatever he says just deadpan “great idea: you first” then walk away.

No YANBU, sounds like you put a lot of effort in to support your child and H has been completely dismissive of all that effort. He seems to really lack understanding of SEN, its not as simple as you teaching him them things yourselves.
I don't believe all education falls to schools but I also think young children spend enough hours in school so don't need extra pressure to be doing structured learning after a day at school, a bit of reading is fine but they also need time to have fun and relax.

Hope you didn’t pick it up?

What does he bring to you and DS’s life? Trying to see some good points but I’m not seeing them

Yes, you are married to a bully.

You should do something about that.

Hope you ignored him in the park.

Well done OP that’s amazing you’re doing the best you can for your DS.. try to rise above what your DH is saying for the time being, don’t let his belittling negativity steal your victory. It takes persistence and determination to confidently advocate for your SEN child, you obviously champion his needs so he will get the support he needs and this will all be outlined in his EHCP. And working til 5 too, you’re a superwomen your DH needs his head wobbling

He’s a man. End of conversation.

I'd absolutely scoff at the word "we" tell he's more than welcome to stop being g lazy and outsourcing all the parenting to you.

My NT son wears ear defenders when places are too loud. It's like wearing sun glasses when it's sunny imo the environment is uncomfortable so you wear accessories to name yourself comfortable.

Sounds like you're his whipping boy.
You obviously know and understand your DS much better so go with your instincts / superior intellectual ability and raise your lad your way.

What a twat. I would hit the roof. I’d say yes indeed let’s not be lazy parents anymore. You can demonstrate not being lazy by your 40 minutes reading and 30 minutes some other activity with ds, seeing as I’ve been doing that forever on top of work and all the medical admin side and apparently I’m still a lazy parent then that won’t be anywhere near enough to not classify you as a shit parent but it would be a start. Also, don’t break a leg or anything in the future because I won’t be doing lazy crap like driving you to a hospital, they migth want me to fill in a form and god knows thats just a waste of time so I'll be supportive like you and tell you to walk it off. and while you're at it stop being a shit husband and telling me how crap i am at EVERYTHING and how everything i feel is wrong. stop that now.
I'd be so so pissed off. you poor thing.

He's an absolute fucking cock.

He's maybe:
In massive denial
Arrogant enough to think you can parent a child in such a way that these extra needs magically disappear
Someone who prides themself on being "old school" and that kids shouldn't be mollycoddled because some kids used to work down a pit or up a chimney

He's definitely:
Thick as shit

He hasn't got your sons back. Thankfully it sounds like you do more than enough to make up for this and you should take pride in what you've done.

I would have said “great, you can start tomorrow, whats the plan?”.

I don’t think your outsourcing parenting by getting you child the help he needs. Does he expect you to make all of your child’s clothes from scratch? Or is buying a top from next outsourcing parenting?

im flabbergasted.

I think some of it is specific to DS, but also generally he dismisses my efforts on other stuff that I do. He says he's not being dismissive, just being honest, but it always makes me feel like rubbish.

There's a word (or two) for that. Let me think really hard... 🤔
oh yes, emotionally abusive.

Emotional abuse includes non-physical behaviors that are meant to control, isolate, or frighten you. This may present in romantic relationships as threats, insults, constant monitoring, excessive jealousy, manipulation, humiliation, intimidation, and dismissiveness, among others. While these emotionally abusive behaviors do not leave physical marks, they do hurt, disempower, and traumatize the partner who is experiencing the abuse.

Sound familiar? He's using your joint child as a weapon to have a go at you.

Get you son ear defenders if he needs them. Your husband isn't the boss.

I was going to say tell him to crack the fuck on then, and let you know when he's fixed everything.

But then I read the bit about the ear defenders. He's an idiot. Tell him to either help or get out the fucking way.

😂

Cross-post on the wanker @HappierTimesAhead. Great minds

As if 'getting the additional support that your son is legally entitled to is outsourcing parenting. It's when he is in school, not instead of doing stuff with him in evenings and weekends, so doesn't even make any logical sense