"Your boobs are lovely!"

Once/if you fix your boobs...you might find they do start to bother you.

I was in your shoes last year and had a surgery. They look better than ever. If it bothers you so much you may consider to see a surgeon, weight the risks and costs. It's expensive and you would have to look after yourself for at least 3-6 weeks. Not allowed to lift anything more than 5lbs. I feel great about my body now but also realised that I am aging fast and I need to mentally prepare myself for this coming change . My plan now is to invest my time into loving myself and accept the aging. Your husband loves you so he loves everything about you and that is not a lie. It's more about how you feel about yourself.

I would do it. I did do it. No regrets, best thing I ever spent my money on. Although I was very careful about the surgeon I used. And my goodness, after losing so much weight you deserve to feel good about yourself.

But... 100lbs is a lot of weight to gain and lose and it makes me feel that you have deeper issues. Perky boobs won't sort deeper issues. Good luck either way, you've done brilliantly to get your body back to a healthy weight so be proud.

OP, not that you need surgery but incase this is of any help to you; mine were the same and the surgery I had did not involve cutting my nipples off. They basically detach them from the surrounding tissue, lift the breast and remove excess tissue from the bottom and then make a new hole through which to reattach the nipple.

@MartyFunkhouser yep I'd be happy with ' saggy tits'. Mine were chopped off, cancer invaded then, nipples and all!

I had a reduction which involved my boobs being lifted - best decision I ever made. They are lovely and perky and the nips work fine for fun.

You and the rest of us. I'm not saying this to minimise you, but I just want you to feel less alone.

The help is not always there even if you haven't actively sought it, so it's easy to eat your feelings.

Regardless your body has nourished you, and 3 beautiful children.

If the surgery would help you love yourself then I think it's a worthwhile cost, however I think you also need to start thanking your body for the lives it has sustained and how absolutely wonderful and miraculous that is that you have achieved all of that all on your own. It's OK to make changes and I also know the unhappiness of living in skin you don't love but this is your body and it had achieved so much.

Marie Kondo it.

I don’t think that was the OP’s intention. She was posting to show the thread what hers look like.

I’m not sure ‘prone to self-hatred’ is fair either. No women wants saggy tits. They might come to terms with them, decide they are not bothered by them, but be honest, no-one would be thrilled with them.

Get a boob job if you want one. It might make you feel better temporarily but frankly if you're prone to self hatred it won't for long.

I'm sure your husband means it when he says your boobs are lovely. Posting a photo of another woman's boobs for everyone to say how horrid they are is not lovely though, even if you don't know who she is.

If you can afford it then have a boob job.

no it’s shouldn’t matter to you, but it does.

At 40 you are too young to feel so down about your body

You’re underestimating how much men love boobs. Not perfect boobs. Boobs.

Get some therapy for a few months and then see how you feel.

Give your body some time. I had similar feelings about mine after losing 5 st - things do fill out a bit and the marks will fade a bit, and you’ll become more comfortable. 20 mins of basic yoga every few days can help a lot - i always see a quick difference in how my body holds itself when i can keep it up.

One of my favourite bits of my DP is a bit of his back that has lots of stretch marks from when he had a growth spurt as a lad. It feels lovely and I’ll spend ages stroking it. My DP likes squidging my arms when they get a bit sausagey. 🤷‍♀️

Real love and attraction isn’t about being that perfect outline of a man or woman. Your DP’s response was actually pretty good imo.

Yeah I like this

But some of us do, I like fewer wrinkles, it makes me feel better

Completely agree

He probably likes them, boobs are boobs, plus they are your boobs and he loves you.

If you hate them get the surgery. There's no point spending the next 40 years upset by your saggy tits. 40 is young, you've had your babies and it's time for you again!

There are some women with firm , well proportioned typical ' model' bodies and they are self conscious of their bodies and consider surgery to improve it .

We only know the body in the pic is a before pic from surgery, because the caption says. Plenty of women with similar bodies may be content.

OP I have reasonable breasts but my nipples point downward- like really down.

I have always had boobs like this and I have always hated them and felt self conscious. I don’t have children either.

An ex of mine called me saggy nips in an argument and honestly, I felt so embarrassed and angry… that was 15 years ago and I have never forgotten that comment.

I would NEVER stand in front of my OH without a bra on and he has never said anything negative about my body in the six years we have been together.

I can’t go under the knife for medical reasons but I would if I could ( I’m 42)

The picture is what mine look like

Hi OP.

At 40 you're genuinely still young. (I'm 62, and I know there's even older than that! 😳). If you're unhappy with how you look then it's well worth making a change at this relatively early stage.

What's happened to your body is normal but I think that if you feel very unhappy about how it looks then you should look into having a makeover (you said this was something you could do, otherwise I'd not have mentioned it). It's important for each of us to feel good (enough) about the way our body looks, so that we don't feel unhappy each time we get our kit off.

I think btw you're a bit unfair to your DH. Did you expect him to agree with you that you don't look good? That would have been horrible. I'm sure he does love the way you look because it was in making your family together that your body changed, but either way I think it's a good thing that he said your boobs are lovely. He sounds like a nice man.

I hope you work it out in a way that makes you feel happier.

@Wormfanclub

“It’s not worth the risk of going under GA with three young kids.“

The risk is minuscule, I’m not sure that should deter OP

1. I bet your boobs really are lovely to him.
2. If you really can't live with them you can get implants and a lift, they're designed to last a lifetime now so unlikely to need replacing.
3. By losing the weight you have massively improved your health, well done!

OP, I kind of know what you mean.

You personally really hate the way they look; therefore it feels impossible to you that he's telling the truth; therefore he's just lying to make you feel better.

As you say it's not really about DH, at worst he is just trying to be nice. It's about you hating a part of yourself and that making you very unhappy.

I would say if it's really upsetting you, yes, consider surgery. You're still young and it's not something you can change naturally.

(I consider a tummy tuck occasionally but I can mostly keep the flabfest under control through diet and exercise if I try).