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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand why she messages me?

85 replies

millennialboss · 27/06/2024 15:14

I’m in a group teams chat at work where it’s general work chat but then sometimes a team meal will be decided on.

She will then message me privately to say, there’s a meal on the 10th. She knows I’m in the group??

I’d understand if it was a couple of days after and I’d not acknowledged it but she will literally tell me within minutes of it being posted.

OP posts:
LAMPS1 · 28/06/2024 18:06

It’s possible she wants to pal up with you …because she needs a friend.
Or maybe she’s just being friendly.

GreyCarpet · 27/06/2024 18:37

Maybe she just likes you?

Feels insecure?

Wants to be sure you're going before she commits?

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 27/06/2024 18:13

millennialboss · 27/06/2024 15:31

I think they were trying to be sarcastic and funny, but it failed miserably.

Nope it did not fail at all, it landed beautifully 😂 it was hilarious 🤣 very witty.
Guess it depends on your soh, 🤔

Peacefulbeach · 27/06/2024 18:11

Don’t get what the problem is…just tell her you’ve seen the message as you’re in the group chat! If she still does it just say- like I said last time- I’m in the group chat so saw the message..no need to remind me!

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 27/06/2024 18:00

beckybarefoot · 27/06/2024 15:28

i was wondering myself how we had gone straight to MIL?

Seriously!!! Come on!!!

ScribblingPixie · 27/06/2024 17:58

Sounds like she thinks of you as a potential friend?

TheBerry · 27/06/2024 17:56

millennialboss · 27/06/2024 15:14

I’m in a group teams chat at work where it’s general work chat but then sometimes a team meal will be decided on.

She will then message me privately to say, there’s a meal on the 10th. She knows I’m in the group??

I’d understand if it was a couple of days after and I’d not acknowledged it but she will literally tell me within minutes of it being posted.

Have you ever actually replied to her and said you’re in the group chat?

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 27/06/2024 17:51

malmi · 27/06/2024 15:19

You don't say who "she" is so I'll assume it's your MIL.

Remove her from your work Teams chat. She has no business involving herself there.

Such wit 😂😂

Janehasamane · 27/06/2024 17:43

She’s checking to see if you’re going, she’s being friendly.

northernballer · 27/06/2024 17:40

Whataweirdsituation · 27/06/2024 15:47

It made me LOL at my desk 😂

Same!

Modestee · 27/06/2024 17:38

Perhaps she fancies you.
But I'm bi so I always think that.
Seriously does it cause any problems?

Muffin101 · 27/06/2024 17:34

millennialboss · 27/06/2024 15:31

I think they were trying to be sarcastic and funny, but it failed miserably.

I thought it was funny 🤣

I don’t know why this woman does that op, but I rather think it doesn’t matter. It might be just that she doesn’t realise you’re on the group chat (easily remedied!), or maybe she doesn’t want you to miss out, or maybe she really wants you to go so she has someone she likes to chat to, who knows!

Needmorelego · 27/06/2024 17:32

Sounds like she wants a friendship and to have a non work based conversation once in a while.
What's so awful about that?

Headingtowardsdivorce · 27/06/2024 17:30

Wizardcalledoz · 27/06/2024 17:25

Is she older? I find this is something my mums generation do. I quite often get a message in the wider family group, then the close family group, and then private messages too. Drives me mad

Your mum's generation (which is??)? Or just your mum?

Nice bit of generalisation there, with missing details thrown in for good measure!

Wizardcalledoz · 27/06/2024 17:25

Is she older? I find this is something my mums generation do. I quite often get a message in the wider family group, then the close family group, and then private messages too. Drives me mad

CountessWindyBottom · 27/06/2024 17:17

SloaneStreetVandal · 27/06/2024 16:44

Maybe she's noticed you're prone to overlooking details.

This is what I came here to post. Given how vague and all over the place the post was I'm assuming the colleague is making sure that you've understood @millennialboss.

Thanks for the laugh @malmi

FunIsland · 27/06/2024 17:13

millennialboss · 27/06/2024 15:31

I think they were trying to be sarcastic and funny, but it failed miserably.

I thought it was funny to be fair

Youdontevengohere · 27/06/2024 17:04

Donotneedit · 27/06/2024 15:42

I thought it was funny

So did I 😁

SunnyCoco · 27/06/2024 17:03

There's a meal on the 10th

CherrySocks · 27/06/2024 17:01

She must think you don't bother to read the group chat?

Testina · 27/06/2024 16:47

SloaneStreetVandal · 27/06/2024 16:44

Maybe she's noticed you're prone to overlooking details.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

SloaneStreetVandal · 27/06/2024 16:44

millennialboss · 27/06/2024 15:14

I’m in a group teams chat at work where it’s general work chat but then sometimes a team meal will be decided on.

She will then message me privately to say, there’s a meal on the 10th. She knows I’m in the group??

I’d understand if it was a couple of days after and I’d not acknowledged it but she will literally tell me within minutes of it being posted.

Maybe she's noticed you're prone to overlooking details.

CruCru · 27/06/2024 16:44

Does this person think of you as a particular friend? She may want to make sure that your are going.

WhichEllie · 27/06/2024 16:35

malmi · 27/06/2024 15:19

You don't say who "she" is so I'll assume it's your MIL.

Remove her from your work Teams chat. She has no business involving herself there.

Fantastic 😂😂

I’d either ignore or give an “I saw, thanks” every single time. Or if I actually liked her I guess I’d see if she was wanting to chat and using that as an opening.

Grendacious · 27/06/2024 16:31

Presumably she really wants to make sure you saw the message and will attend the meal. Is she a little needy? Thats how it comes across to me.