Dutch Volleyball player who raped 12-year-old British girl qualifies for Paris Olympics

I don’t know what to think about it really.

I do think rehabilitation is important, I do believe it’s possible for people to change their behaviour & I do acknowledge people are less likely to reoffend if they aren’t entirely ostracised from society forever.

I do think sentencing for violent crimes, particularly rape, is often resulting in shockingly short prison terms vs other crimes and that victims of crime are regularly left totally unsupported.

If he grew up super focused on elite sport he likely was pretty immature at 19 so it’s not beyond the realms of possibility that he’s done something incredibly stupid and damaging impulsively without being a wholly wicked and irredeemable person. It’s also entirely within the realms of possibility he’s an abusive and dangerous man that has done the same again and just not been caught.

I dislike that it’s all about him. As others have said how is his victim doing now? What can be done to support her? Is campaigning against him/having lots of publicity actually a help to her or does it make things worse? Can whatever campaigning is being done be framed around victims and helping them recover and live happier lives more?

how do the Olympics committee define a set of rules that apply to every country when what countries find appropriate differs so much.
for example a person could have a conviction abroad for something like being gay. Some countries would find this conviction appropriate whilst we would be appalled by it. A blanket rule by the Olympics committee would probably mean they couldn’t compete. Which is definitely not a decision we would support.

From what I understand it basically depends on each country’s National Olympic committee. That’s how the US banned a runner from competing for smoking weed, and more recently a top Japanese gymnast withdrew from this years Olympics due to violating the code of conduct by smoking and drinking!

It’s absolutely shameful that the Dutch committee have signed this convicted rapist off.

Maybe it’s time for the Olympics to impose some rules which apply to all the national committees decision.

I just read about this. How can someone who has done this be allowed to compete? I'm not saying that Charlotte Dujardin was right to treat a horse the way she did, but how can she be banned and he isn't?

Good response @Abi86 all your points are well-made.

Haha, lieselot liesalot.
Sorry that's childish.

This was there response to my initial email:

"Dear writer,

We sincerely thank you for your response. We are deeply aware that the renewed publicity about Steven van de Velde is causing a lot of emotion, which we fully understand, as the events at that time were very serious.
A lot has happened since then. Steven van de Velde served his sentence and has completed an extensive rehabilitation program with specialized professionals, including the probation service. During this process, Van de Velde has shown that he has grown and that he has positively changed his live. Experts have concluded that there is no risk of recidivism. In 2018, he gave a some interviews about his offence and its consequences. (Please take a moment to watch the that Steven gave to Dutch national television).
The Dutch national volleyball federation (Nevobo) as well as the Dutch National Olympic Committee (NOCNSF) have closely monitored Steven’s progress and explicitly followed the advice of experts. This process has been fully in line with the Dutch Guidelines Integrity Records, which set out the conditions that must be met by athletes to be given a second chance after a conviction.
Steven has been given this second chance and has been participating (since 2017) on international elite sport level. Throughout this time, he has consistently met the high standards set by the volleyball federation and NOCNSF.
Based on all of the above and after careful consideration, NOC*NSF has decided to select Steven van de Velde for the Olympic Games in Paris.

Yours sincerely,
Lieselot Meelker
Corporate communications NOC*NSF"

I responded to the response above as follows:

"Dear sender,

This issue may or may not be the cause of a lot of emotion. I hope you’re not insinuating I’m being emotional, thus irrational? Nothing could be further from the truth. There are several issues at play here.

Firstly, the consensus is his four year sentence was entirely inadequate. Notwithstanding he only served a year for repeatedly raping an underage girl.

Secondly, having experts concluding that there is no risk of recidivism simply says to me that those experts don’t understand the concept of risk. "No" Is an absolute. "Little", "minimal", "small" or "unlikely" may be more appropriate. It simply and entirely undermines the assessment of those "experts".

Thirdly, I don’t actually care what the offender/perpetrator has to say. I’d much prefer to listen to the victim. Do you have an interview with her? He may have changed his life, has she? I wonder how she feels about your decision.

Fourthly, the fact that this issue fits inside your integrity guidelines highlights the inadequacy of your guidelines.

Fifthly, second chances are a funny thing. I wonder if the little girl who was raped (several times) will get a second chance?

Look, you guys probably need every decent player you can scrape up. I understand. This is business. This isn’t a redemption story. Hey, I hope you win a medal. That may generate more publicity regarding the paedophile on your team and the choices your committee made to choose him."

Not sure if this is allowed, if not please remove.
https://www.change.org/p/disqualify-convicted-child-rapist-steven-van-de-velde-from-the-olympics

if you feel inclined to email them:
[email protected]
[email protected]

He definitely has a victim mentality - to proclaim so boldly that he isn’t the monster he’s been made out to be is so wildly arrogant and insensitive . Any truly reformed character would live out the rest of his life, quietly understanding why people are disgusted by him, instead of loudly defending his image.

I’ll never understand women like that but as someone who used to spark in social services I’ve encountered quite a few. They’d happily choose their partner over a kid, even if that kid was their own child and it led to them being put in care.

A friend of a friend recently took their dad to court over historical abuse along with her sister who was also a victim . He was jailed and their mum has disowned both kids.

It is very depressing.

I know people whose job involved going to convicted and released offenders houses to check they weren't back to their old ways. The offenders always had the same victim mentality. But they said very often the wives were evenmore dislikeable - e.g "oh she was the one leading him on, she ruined his life etc" about a child - very often their own daughter.
Men are more likely to be sex offenders. When women abuse/groom children they are almost always doing it to supply a man with victims. Some women are that evil.
And unfortunately large numbers of seemingly normal men and women will support and provide cover to sexually abusive men, and take their side over the victims. 😑

Sometimes I feel very bleak about human nature.

It's absolutely not OK that him having a wife and child is being presented as a sign he has changed/is "safe". The message it sends is terrible.

And yes anyone who has watched crime documentaries or read about male serial killers and the most serious sex offenders know that many if not most of them have partners and /or children.

I really hate this tired narrative of marriage /fatherhood being some sort of signifier of not being a predatory or dangerous man and conferring automatic respectability onto someone. It’s why politicians always bang on about “as a father” “as a husband/family man ” etc

But a conviction for raping a child is more than a red flag.

Exactly this. I do get some men wear a mask and conceal their true nature to an extent, but in some cases the signs are very clear and women selfishly ignore the huge risk in their quest to play happy families.

I ended a friendship with someone partly because her long term partner was on the sex offenders list. She kept changing her story as to what he did and none of it made sense, so I don’t think they were being honest. Whatever it was, it must’ve been bad for him to end up on that list and be given a custodial sentence. He had only just recently been released from jail when she met him.

I made it clear I disapproved strongly of her being with him, and bringing him around her sister, mum and nieces (who weren’t aware of his past) .

Ironically he ended up leaving her shortly before she fell pregnant with someone else (a drug dealer 😕) . I’ve no doubt if he’d stuck around she would’ve ended up pregnant with the sex offender guy, as she was just desperate to be pregnant that year.

ETA: I’m longer in touch with her as I was tired of the constant drama caused by the kind of men she chooses to be with, but I can only hope her daughter is doing well.

Lots of women marry seemingly nice men who change when they get married/pregnant etc. Learning to spot red flags is a skill not everyone has, and sometimes the signs aren't obvious. But a conviction for raping a child is more than a red flag.

Women that marry child abusers are a problem. statistically it makes them higher risk, it doesn't make the men lower risk. Eg I wouldn't want my child's teacher to be married to a convicted child rapist. It shows at the very least poor judgement.
And their child's a boy but he will still have other children home on playdates/girlfriends as he gets older. It's absolutely not OK that him having a wife and child is being presented as a sign he has changed/is "safe". The message it sends is terrible.

He should be kept away from society

Exactly we don’t bloody care if he’s met the “high standards” of the volleyball federation. Absolute clowns 🤡

I can’t get my head round the fact he is married with a child - I think it’s a daughter as well. What kind of a woman marries a man like that? Apparently she studied psychology and is or was a police officer.

This is why sometimes I do think women are partially responsible for the mess they get into with men and ending up work partners who are unsuitable fathers.

Out of all the men this is the best she could find to marry and have a child with - really?! To say there are red flags would be an understatement.

Just read this up thread:
'Throughout this time, he has consistently met the high standards set by the volleyball federation and NOCNSF.' 😂

Oh great so we have a new standard for treating sex offenders then, send them to the volleyball fed and if they meet the volleyball fed standards then they are A ok and no more threat.

I mean what kind of world are we even living in?! What unbelievable ridiculous nonsense.

Not the first olympic scandal I've heard and not by a long shot. Not surprised they wouldn't care quite frankly.

Everyone crows on endlessly about safeguarding of children in sport but this is the reality. If anyone gave a shit this guy would not even be allowed to compete. Imagine him being a coach one day, or in a position of authority over young athletes.

Presumably it's up to individual countries to apply their own code of ethics. Disappointing that the Netherlands evidently doesn't bar child abusers (and I wonder whether the UK does). What we should all be doing is lobbying the Netherlands Olympics panel for a much needed change.
Imagine being the girl or her family and seeing him being cheered on on TV. Horrendous.

I don’t think 12 months in prison is serving his time. 12 months for ruining a child’s life.
And The Netherlands should be ashamed to let such a disgusting specimen represent their country.

Men that are sexually attracted to ten year old are paedophiles. Ten year olds are prepubescent. So are twelve year olds. And if you don't want to be judged according to the laws of a country, don't go to that country.

I guess, maybe, officiallly, he's a hebephile rather than a paedophile. And the Netherlands are allowed to set their own standards of criminal rehabilitation.

And in Brunei and the Yemen, amongst other countries, marriagiable age is 14 or younger. So they could be represented by an adult married to a child or vv.

So we should be pressurising the IOC for
standards, not relying on each country tostep up.

He spent two years grooming her. He was prepared to invest that much time into the eventual payoff of sex with a child. One year in prison is not a deterrent to people like that.

This. Every time one of these arseholes (and there are so so many) waltzes onto TV or a stage, it's clear that being convicted of sex offending doesn't 'ruin lives'. It's a little blip in a lovely life for men, regardless of the trauma for women and children.

@MamaGarl85 And to other victims of CSA. And to perpetrators - part of the reason for criminal punishment is to serve a deterrent. Not only did he suffer very few long term consequences for his own actions But the NOC and the Dutch press are currently minimising and providing excuses for what he has done. The central message is CSA is not a big deal. Which will have consequences.

Checklist for Assessing Change in Men Who Abuse Women | Lundy Bancroft (about domestic abusers but most of it also applies to child sexual abuse. Van de Velde meets hardly any of the criteria) In fact... The Connection Between Batterers and Child Sexual Abuse Perpetrators | Lundy Bancroft