To think dh must be eating in secret at work?

You were quick Charlotte 😂 I didn't read through the whole thread missed that thanks.

She's had the gentle chat.

My husband had a issue with food he was depressed (which he hid from me) and was eating things on way into work. Could be the same reason, might be best to have a gentle chat with him. Especially if you've got the added worry of his health problems. My husband felt better once it all came out.

Could it be a case of him not eating enough and his metabolism has stalled?

He will be. It's what I used to do.

but I’ve never eaten any lunch at work

Skipping meals can be part of the problem.

stealmodemama

I too saw a programme like that, maybe the same one? But I remember thinking how come the boy had a different gut biology in the first place? The impression I got was that him eating healthy stuff they recommended, it made his gut health better, therefore he hadn't been eating as healthy as had been claimed...
I am a massive cynic though 😁

Before my Dad retired he was gaining weight and was acting mystified.
It turned out his boss, who 'liked his grub', was taking him out for elevenses every day to his favourite panini vendor. About 700 calories in one of the ones he was having, plus some sort of sweet pastry.
So he was eating about 2 days extra food a week.

his family were totally convinced he was guzzling secret food.. so without his knowledge they filmed him for 2 weeks

Without his knowledge???

He will be eating and/or drinking something with high calorific content. He may not even be fully aware/admitting it to himself.
Maybe a latte heaped with sugar every morning and afternoon. A couple of packets of biscuits costs less than a couple of quid, he may keep them as a pick-me-up in his drawer, and dips in more than he realises. Maybe he has vastly underestimated the calories in his regular lunchtime salad?
On the Secret Eaters show, (loads are on you tube) it's amazing how much people delude themselves. And the ones who genuinely don't overeat but are overweight, tend to have a liqueur habit that they haven't allowed for.
I'm obese. I eat too much of the wrong things and snack a lot. I don't have a slow metabolism. I had some really distressing news six weeks ago and suddenly couldn't eat as much as normal. I lost half a stone in a week.
Honestly, it won't be a mystery.

I remember watching a programme on BBC1 - where a young teen was thought to be 'eating extras', he did loads of sport - and ate healthy meals but kept piling the weight on .. his family were totally convinced he was guzzling secret food.. so without his knowledge they filmed him for 2 weeks..

He was not eating more than the rest of his family.

They did a 'poo sample' and it turned out his gut bacteria were off.. He changed his diet to include a small bowl of porridge each morning with apple sauce and cinnamon on, as his gut health improved the weight fell off him.

I do think some people over eat and are unaware, but others - their body just does not help them.

I also remember reading about someone who had a poo transplant for 1 condition and gained loads of weight after, and that was linked to gut biome too.

Years ago at WeightWatchers, I remember women saying they had gained that week because they overdid the tinned tomatoes and sweetcorn. Yeah, tomatoes and sweetcorn. That's how I ended up at WW too.

I think she knew, and I think these women knew. But one of the hardest things about weight loss and maintenance is adjusting your mindset and the way you think about it. It really is very hard. Very often, overweight people truly do not eat much by volume. But some foods are so fattening that it really does not take much...

Talk to him if he's genuinely not eating at work he needs his thyroid checking or you do if your not gaining weight because it's one of you or he's eating at work

A woman I worked with, genuinely asked me one day if she was overweight because she drank sparkling water. She could not figure out how she was so heavy.

There's a man down the road from me who wfh and, according to his wife, "goes for a walk" twice a day. We see him buying a can of coke and a family sized bag of crisps, which he consumes on the street at breakneck speed and then returns home. His wife is a acquaintance and she regularly muses about his poor metabolism and how he can't lose weight despite eating healthily

There was a TV programme a while back where they followed a couple who "eat healthily but we can't lose weight, we don't know why". The woman worked as a postie and rode her bike all day. She had her healthy slimline breakfast, delivered a few letters, and then they filmed her going into a shop and coming out with two Mars bars, which she proceeded to eat. They showed her the footage and she just said "That's not me, it can't be". This went on for several days. Total denial in the face of filmed evidence (him too).

He definitely is. Maybe food is a comfort for him. I eat loads in secret. To be honest. Doing it in secret is a bit of the excitement. If I only ate my normal meals, I would be fine. I don't think there is anything you can do about it. I don't think anything would make me stop, even the threat of diabetes. I don't know why I do it, probably he doesn't either.

Yeah. Overactive fork.

OP I would encourage him to see if there is a men's group in the area he can join to lose weight. (It will mean he disappears one evening a week to play walking football or whatever.)

Then unfortunately you need to leave him to it as you have said enough and he clearly doesn't want to be accountable to you about his weight he just wants to have a moan while secretly eating.

Much, much worse.

Honestly this is such a breakthrough book. It’s such a good place to start.

The body can shut down other metabolic process to divert energy though

@Notjustabrunette I had a similar situation with DH. He told me that he was gaining weight because of all the lovely dinners I make .... but he was totally oblivious to the impact of his regular 11pm runs on the cereal dispenser or the sheer number of biscuits he was getting through or the fact that if I bought a loaf of bread, it would disappear within a day or the fact that a jar of peanut butter would not last a week.

Interestingly, he's been a bit concerned about his weight again recently and hasn't really said anything to me but I have noticed we're at normal bread consumption levels and the cereal has gone down since I bought it, but not to the same level. so clearly he did absorb that message.

OP - is it possible your Dh is doing that? eg while making his ham roll for lunch, he's eating another one at breakfast (DH used to do this a LOT - make himself a large sandwich but stuff his gob with at least 2 additional slices of bread in the process) or snacking late at night?

My downfall was secret eating on the way to and from work - I could eat healthily all day but used to buy cinema sized bags x 2 of Maltesers or M&Ms for each car journey 🤐

I have lost weight but still really crave these, sometimes I cave in. He’s maybe doing something like that.

I don't see my husband's bank account or credit card bills and he doesn't see mine.
So that wouldn't work