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Original poster

To think she didn’t need to try and embarrass me?

109 replies

squitnha · 26/06/2024 23:55

Today we had a meeting where we were given a starter and main:

Both lovely but I couldn’t each as much of the main as I was getting full.

The person cleared the plate and said loudly “oh didn’t you like it?” Like I’m not a child. Me liking or disliking it is irrelevant to the meeting.

I just hate it when people comment on your food.

OP posts:
catscalledbeanz · 27/06/2024 00:25

It's basic conversation. Your discomfort in relation to a perfectly mundane comment is yours. Imo she was neither judging you nor embarrassing you.

beckybarefoot · 27/06/2024 00:25

and? I'm waiting for the 'drip feed'?

Or is that it... you didn't like that someone commented on your food? Who paid for the food... what if the chef had asked if it was ok? What was wrong with simply saying... 'it was lovely, just too much for me!' It's not justifying, it's stating the truth.

AGoingConcern · 27/06/2024 00:23

Peeny · 27/06/2024 00:21

She didn’t clear the OP’s plate the colleague ate her own food.

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You're probably right, I read "cleared the plate" as taking it off the table, but without a possessive article it could just as easly be referencing the woman's own plate not OP's.

Regardless, the rest of my comment stands; she was trying to be friendly and kind. We do not have to hold others responsible for every unpleasant feeling we have.

Peeny · 27/06/2024 00:21

AGoingConcern · 27/06/2024 00:19

You being embarrassed doesn't mean she was trying to embarrass you. It sounds like she was trying to be friendly and polite (and helpful for clearing your plate).

Not every unpleasant feeling we have is someone else's fault.

She didn’t clear the OP’s plate the colleague ate her own food.

AGoingConcern · 27/06/2024 00:19

You being embarrassed doesn't mean she was trying to embarrass you. It sounds like she was trying to be friendly and polite (and helpful for clearing your plate).

Not every unpleasant feeling we have is someone else's fault.

Peeny · 27/06/2024 00:19

squitnha · 27/06/2024 00:16

I didn’t order it.

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So they had a set starter and main and you would have known that. You’re really not giving much much detail. If you didn’t order it then it was a set menu. I’m wondering if you’re just here for attention given your updates.

GrumpyOldCrone · 27/06/2024 00:17

Were you in a restaurant? If so, I wouldn’t find this embarrassing at all. In general I don’t approve of commenting on other people’s food, but in a restaurant I expect to be asked questions about my experience. Maybe it’s different in a different context?

ImustLearn2Cook · 27/06/2024 00:16

I highly doubt that she was asking you to justify yourself.

And yes it is very basic communication and completely normal.

Original poster
squitnha · 27/06/2024 00:16

Peeny · 27/06/2024 00:12

Then that’s your issue. Just say it wasn’t to my taste. I never get the embarrassment of not liking a dish you’ve ordered.

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I didn’t order it.

OP posts:
Peeny · 27/06/2024 00:16

squitnha · 27/06/2024 00:12

No it’s not. Is it really so difficult for you not to make personal comments to someone?

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You’re overthinking this. Why did you mention your colleague cleared her plate? She probably enjoyed the food. It’s not a big deal, she simply asked if you didn’t like it. I don’t see the issue tbh.

JurassicClark · 27/06/2024 00:16

You are being weird. She was just making conversation.

Original poster
squitnha · 27/06/2024 00:16

ImustLearn2Cook · 27/06/2024 00:13

Trying not to offend or trigger some people is like walking in a mine field. Who knows what might offend or trigger someone. It really isn’t healthy. Communication is becoming unnecessarily complicated and difficult.

The person clearing the plates probably had a good reason for asking you this and it had nothing to do with embarrassing you or shaming you.

As the person in that meeting she had no reason to ask me that question I assure you.

OP posts:
Original poster
squitnha · 27/06/2024 00:15

pianoquay · 27/06/2024 00:06

But what if she didn't like it? I'm personally mortified when I realise I'm in polite company and really don't like my food and would hate to make a fuss and have attention drawn to the fact

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Exactly. I didn’t want attention drawing to it. No one else in the room noticed I hadn’t eaten much until she made the comment loud enough that everyone looked at me.

OP posts:
whatsappdoc · 27/06/2024 00:13

What did you say?

ImustLearn2Cook · 27/06/2024 00:13

Trying not to offend or trigger some people is like walking in a mine field. Who knows what might offend or trigger someone. It really isn’t healthy. Communication is becoming unnecessarily complicated and difficult.

The person clearing the plates probably had a good reason for asking you this and it had nothing to do with embarrassing you or shaming you.

Original poster
squitnha · 27/06/2024 00:13

ThatTealViewer · 27/06/2024 00:07

‘No, it was lovely. I’m just full.’

Very basic conversation. Do you have issues with food? As there’s nothing even remotely embarrassing about any of this.

But why do I need to justify myself? As an adult I can eat as much or as little as I want - it doesn’t require someone to comment on it.

OP posts:
Peeny · 27/06/2024 00:12

pianoquay · 27/06/2024 00:06

But what if she didn't like it? I'm personally mortified when I realise I'm in polite company and really don't like my food and would hate to make a fuss and have attention drawn to the fact

Show quote history

Then that’s your issue. Just say it wasn’t to my taste. I never get the embarrassment of not liking a dish you’ve ordered.

Original poster
squitnha · 27/06/2024 00:12

Macaroni46 · 27/06/2024 00:03

I think this is another example of people looking for a reason to be offended tbh

No it’s not. Is it really so difficult for you not to make personal comments to someone?

OP posts:
Bountiez · 27/06/2024 00:10

Weird thing to be embarrassed by

ThatTealViewer · 27/06/2024 00:09

pianoquay · 27/06/2024 00:06

But what if she didn't like it? I'm personally mortified when I realise I'm in polite company and really don't like my food and would hate to make a fuss and have attention drawn to the fact

Show quote history

Why? ‘No, I didn’t really like it.’ Zero fuss required. What’s the issue?

FloofPaws · 27/06/2024 00:08

I think commenting on food is unwise as no one knows what relationship people have with food and calories etc

purpleme12 · 27/06/2024 00:08

This is such a strange thing to get het up about

ThatTealViewer · 27/06/2024 00:07

‘No, it was lovely. I’m just full.’

Very basic conversation. Do you have issues with food? As there’s nothing even remotely embarrassing about any of this.

pianoquay · 27/06/2024 00:06

Peeny · 27/06/2024 00:04

Was she just not asking if you disliked the main course? Is there a backstory to this?

Some people on MN have really weird colleagues and friends imo. If I eat a starter I never eat a full main course. Before anyone starts with the usual MN nonsense, I’ve never been someone who can eat 3 courses, I’m more of a grazer through the day due to a health condition.

Edited

But what if she didn't like it? I'm personally mortified when I realise I'm in polite company and really don't like my food and would hate to make a fuss and have attention drawn to the fact

pianoquay · 27/06/2024 00:05

I agree it's a bit of a nosy unnecessary comment! I certainly wouldn't ask that because it's none of my business, and just draws attention to what could be something personal/awkward such as someone having a sore stomach or disliking an ingredient but trying to be polite and not make a fuss