To think she didn’t need to try and embarrass me?

Perhaps she was worried that there was a problem with the food, that she would need to address with whoever catered the meeting?

I would not bat an eyelid at the comment, and I would be very surprised if anyone else in the room was judging you for not having finished your meal. Frankly, anyone judging you would be a bit of a knob, and not worth worrying about, imo!

I do know what it is like to be anxious, and to worry all the time about what people are thinking about me, but I know it is a me problem, and I am working on shutting down the negative thoughts when they happen.

But that's not a personal comment it's a question and not a rude one!

The person cleared the plate and said loudly “oh didn’t you like it?”

Has it been established who "the person" was (I couldn't see that info but may have e missed it)?

If it was the caterers they'd want to know of something was wrong with the food; if the person who arranged the meeting and chose the food then perhaps they'd want to make a note thst people didn't like X dish. Or a colleague wanting to start a conversation

I doubt it was a barbed comment on how much or how little someone had eaten

You're taking the worst possible intentions out of this woman making conversation.

I hate being asked about what I've ate and people giving their (unwanted) opinion on it.

I have an eating condition that affects what and how I eat. People do it a lot and it gets tedious very quickly. I think if you never experience this you don't realise how irritating/embarrassing it is.

The person who said it to you has no filter. But there are so many people we bump
into in life who are like this.
If it’s a one off and you’re never going to see them again, just forget about it.

You clearly have issues surrounding food. That isn’t anyone else’s problem. Stop trying to make it one.

If the person was the server it is probably part of her job to ask in case there was something wrong with the food (say it was underdone or salty etc). She just could have worded it better.

It’s like everyone asking how you are when it turns out they aren’t actually interested in how you are at all, so all they want is for you to lie, it’s a pointless interaction.

You're being incredibly literal. The subtext of asking how someone is to let them know you're acknowledging their existence and give something of a shit about it. 'Pointless' interactions often have a lot of point about how we rub along together.

But why do I need to justify myself? As an adult I can eat as much or as little as I want - it doesn’t require someone to comment on it.

Eat on your own in your house then. If you engage in society, other people are involved and you can't control them being human and having conversations about very very ordinary things. You need to lighten up a little and learn some small talk.

Waiting for a full explanation from OP…

this is just basic polite conversation.... nothing to get offended about

do you have any underlying issues around food/eating OP that may have made this comment triggering for you? because that's the only context I can think of where this could be upsetting

So you wouldn't give the restaurant feedback if they sincerely want to know, and presumably try and use it to improve? It's not like you made a stink and sent the food back, which I could see feeling awkward about. Just quietly and politely say, I'm afraid x/y/z isn't quite my thing.

I don’t understand a lot of this. “It’s small talk” “just conversation” “just a comment” - I’ve never understood the need for it and in this context it seems very inappropriate.

It’s like everyone asking how you are when it turns out they aren’t actually interested in how you are at all, so all they want is for you to lie, it’s a pointless interaction.

Commenting on people’s food is rude in my opinion, especially when the person didn’t say anything themselves.

OP, you're a drama llama

I don't see anything wrong with the question as such, it could have come from a place of genuine concern.
Perhaps the issue is more in the delivery/approach. If OP had been asked quietly, so that the rest of the table didn't hear the interaction, that might have been a better scenario?

However, there's nothing wrong with not eating everything on the plate, and it doesn't need to be justified. In this particular scenario, just saying "I'm full" would have been perfectly acceptable.

If this is one incident in a string of similar, then it is stepping into deliberately trying to embarrass OP, but it's not clear that this is the case.

A total non event.

This.

why do you care? It’s really irrelevant to life.

Omg this is such a non issue! You’re literally looking to be offended. Do people have to go round with their lips sewn shut so that they don’t offend you?

Your overreaction to what was probably just a polite innocuous remark suggests an unhealthy relationship with food

funnily enough thinking about it, it is not a question that would bother me BUT it is also a question I would never ask. Not really sure why, there is something off or intrusive about asking it.

Utter trivia.

I don’t mind small talk but I don’t think it’s very polite to comment on how much or how little someone has eaten. But I have had family members with eating disorders and I know quite a lot of people that don’t like eating in front of others so perhaps I’m over cautious 🤷🏼‍♀️

You can still make small talk about the meal without drawing attention to one person’s eating.

I think when normal life stopped during Covid, everyone forgot how to be in public, and things which were perfectly normal social activities and interactions have somehow taken on much greater import for some now than they had before. Some folks have got out of the habit of just being normally social, and can’t remember what that looks like. The idea of people just rubbing along together the best they can, taking the good with the bad, seems to have died.

Is it just me or are there more and more posts about people getting upset and offended by completely innocuous comments?