To think she didn’t need to try and embarrass me?

You certainly can't explain things very well, that's why people are misunderstanding what you're trying to say.

If you didn't want anybody to comment on the food you'd left then you should have ate it all

Or

When the person commented on the amount of food you'd left you should have simply said "Don't be so nosy. Fuck off"

No need for you to come on here looking for attention over something so ridiculous. Stop getting annoyed at people here who are trying to give you advice. Ungrateful you seem.

The vast majority of this thread just see this as small chat/talk. It’s literally conversational. You’re eating is the focal point at that moment in time. I don’t think anyone is saying this to embarrass you. I don’t see it in anyway negative at all.

If you have an issue with food I can appreciate why you’d be sensitive/upset. However if you don’t, you really need to work on your small talk and take things a little less personally.

Sounds like it triggered you, sent you back in time. Did you feel like a child?

That's your stuff, not hers.

I can relate as colleagues always comment on each others lunches, "that looks nice" or my personal favourite "I can smell..." and we all work out whose lunch it is. I hate it, makes me feel self-conscious but they're being friendly. It's my shit.

I assume she was trying to be helpful and offer to bring something else in case you were hungry but didn’t like what you had chosen.
I do wonder what some people on MN talk about, their conversation must be so limited trying not to offend anyone.

So much angst about nothing! I have problems with eating following cancer treatment and often have to leave food, especially if I haven’t chosen the dish.
There are often questions along the lines of ‘was everything ok?’ I just reply ‘It was delicious, thank you’. Nothing more needed. No one has ever questioned furthet.

Was you in a restaurant? And this was the waiting staff? Because if so they are told to ask as part of the service. Was everything ok with your meal or some equivalent to ensure that the food is up to standard. Surely you’ve eaten out before and this has happened?

Oh good! Glad to hear it, I just got worried :)
But I agree, under these conditions of having been given something to eat that you didn’t choose - then nobody can expect you to eat it all!
And yes, I can see how it would be rude to point it out loudly, any discreet waiter would know not to.

OP, I might be reading between the lines, but it sounds like you might have been triggered as it has shown your eating disorder up in public..? If so, I hope you can get help for it 🙏
I only say this as it sounds like you must have left a lot of food, and were hoping that nobody would notice…

The equivalent would be "Oh, you enjoyed it then?"

I mean assuming they dared to speak of course.

Christ almighty.

Some people won't be happy until conversation becomes a thing of the past.

No-one will speak unless absolutely necessary and even then, they should spend at least half an hour selecting their words, and trying to think of 101 different ways they may cause offense before daring to utter them 🙄

Rude. What if you’d said “Crikey you wolfed that down didn’t you?

Omg. What a total B.
I hope that you live in Scotland so that you can report her to the police for a hate crime!

I think it's concern, there's two answers either "it was great I'm just full thanks" or "it was lovely but I'm not a big lamb/pasta/tomato/chicken fan"

If the answer is the second one she can immediately go "oh no, let me get you something else/see what else is available/get the caterers to organise something".
She just didn't want you to be hungry or have been fed something you didn't want and have to sit there in silence. Unless it was said in a nasty way, or after previous comments about what you eat, I'd just take it as concern that you might want something else but felt too awkward to complain. My friend knows I never send food back so if I'm picking at something she'll ask me what's wrong and bring a waiter over for me, she's just a bit more confident than me and she dies it out of care.

It's her job? If there's an issue, she needs to know. Ergo she asked 🤷‍♀️

If you think somebody asking whether you enjoyed your meal or not is a personal comment I have no idea how you make any friends. You'd hate when they start asking terribly prying things like how are you, and what are you up to this weekend!

'No it was lovely I'm just full'
Or
'No not really my cup of tea'

Is all that's required. Human interaction of quite the banal variety. Not embarrassing in the slightest.

Reading threads on here, I’m amazed anyone speaks to anyone. Surely you just reply, “it was delicious, just very filling.” Then conversation moves on.

Your thread title... you actually think the person that took your plate was actively trying to embarrass you?

Do you always assume people have bad intentions? That's what I'd suggest exploring. You may have felt embarrassed but there's almost no chance that was the person's intentions!

I don't think she was trying to embarrass you; she's just doing her job. She will probably be asked by the manager or chef why you left your food, as they will want to know if there was something wrong with the dish. (I've been asked this when DS left a lot of food because he didn't like it. I simply said the truth - there was absolutely nothing wrong with the food, he just hadn't tried it before and it turns out it wasn't to his taste.) Just answer the question - 'it was great, I'm just full'; or 'it was fine, it just wasn't to my taste' etc.

You are being overly dramatic. In my restaurant we asked to make sure everything was to standard. If it wasn't then things can be changed or refunded as appropriate.
My mum is a very small eater and gets asked this a lot. She politely replies normally with its lovely or its fine and then saying I'm not a big eater. Nothing to do with having to justify yourself but it's politeness otherwise a chef might think there is something wrong with the food.

What makes you think she was trying to embarrass you? You're ascribing a motivation to her when you have no idea why she asked. It sounds like an innocuous comment to me. Maybe she was just making conversation. Or she was genuinely concerned that you might be hungry if you didn't like the meal. Who knows? And why on earth would it be embarrassing not to eat something? I don't understand this train of thought at all.

Spot on