Ridiculous Situation

Why do you need to even tell them you're engaged? Just continue saying nothing.
I see no issue here, unless you've actively lied about having a boyfriend.
Personally I don't want to know about my colleagues' private lives at work neither do I want to share mine.

If you didn't mention him before why would you now?
If it comes up, it comes up. What's to wring your hands about?

Say nothing. None of their business.

The colleagues part wasn’t the bit that caught my attention…He proposed and all the while you thought he would drop you! What a surprise!!

Actually I like your way of thinking, it may seem odd but it does avoid disappointment. Keep that slight cynical side in your marriage too, a lot of ppl could do with a dose of that.

Just don't mention it. I doubt they're that invested in your love life tbh. Some people make huge gushy fusses about their partners at work, to the point I used to feel sick at one woman. 'jason this and Jason that' oh, 'jason eats that, Jason likes this' her fucking password was Jason. Infuriating and infantile!
I didn't tell anyone about my relationship, got married and didn't say anything. Lol.

Congratulations OP.

Some people just don't like talking about their personal lives at work. A colleague of mine mentioned her (same sex) partner to me once after we'd been working together for about three years and then never brought her personal life up in conversation again.

I would just wear your ring to work. Obviously you'll want to tell you boss when you're planning to go on honeymoon so as soon as your wedding date is booked just say, "Hi boss, just wanted to talk to you about booking time off next June because I'll be getting married and going on honeymoon."

No one will care. You never know who is in what situation unless it comes up naturally because of something at work

There is great freedom in realising that most people are only interested in your life for about thirty seconds ( unless you have just been arrested for murder and they went to school with you).

I hope you have a long and happy marriage.

I had a colleague I'd worked with in a team with for many years. We were quite a close team.

Then one day she casually mentioned she was getting married in a few weeks. Well! It was crickets and dropped jaws. We didn't even know she'd split from her husband & gotten divorced!!

No one was upset, just a bit stunned and speechless. And grateful we hadn't been subjected to every blow by blow of the relationship.

I suppose it depends how close you are to the colleagues.

If there is, say, a friend that you have lunch with every day and you haven't told them that's a bit awkward, but otherwise don't worry about it!

One of my colleagues announced she was pregnant having gotten married at Christmas. No one had any idea but we were obviously delighted for her.
Don't overthink it, and congratulations!

The same thing happened to my parents many years ago (they met through work). They had no idea their colleague even had a girlfriend!

Look at it this way. You are the confident, self assured person at work who DOESNT need everyone to know every details of their homelife for needless justification. You dont exactly come across that way in your post but by not advertising all your life struggles & success you actually will appear more confident.

Just ride it out and when people ask just say you like to have a private life and maybe their is more to you than they realise ;-)

The only weird thing about this is that you’re suddenly engaged to someone you’ve never mentioned at work because you thought he was going to dump you when he got bored with you. That suggests very poor self-esteem and a bit of a disconnect from your fiancé, surely? I mean, there he is, falling in love with you and planning to propose while you wait to be ditched?

Whether you’ve ever mentioned him at work is completely irrelevant. I only just discovered that a longtime colleague I thought was childfree has two adult children — she got pregnant with twins at school, so she’s unusually young to have children well into adulthood, and she’s never mentioned them. Another colleague divorced and remarried without mentioning it.

Hahaha I love this thread, it’s exactly the kind of thing I’d do

Ha ha are you my colleague? Announced engagement yesterday with stunning ring. Had no clue she had a boyfriend. Didn't think anything, just thrilled for her. Not everyone shares their life out of work and that's perfectly fine

Work thing - just tell them. Everyone will be happy for you, not think you’re weird at all. Just private.

I'm slightly concerned you’re marrying someone who has made you feel insecure for two whole years!! Why did you constantly think he’d leave you??

(Edited typo)

To be honest, I don’t think most colleagues will be as interested as you think…I really couldn’t care less about their relationship status.

if you’ve never mentioned a partner and then you tell me you are engaged, I’d be like cool good for you 🤷🏼‍♀️

People don't care as much as you think they do. They'll be glad they were spared the drama-free stories about your relationship.

Pretty normal to not know your colleagues private lives imo. I wouldn't think twice if I found out someone had a boyfriend I didn't know about.

It's not a massive deal.

People will either have assumed you're in a relationship, single or not given it a second thought. Most likely the latter.

Just wear the ring and answer questions if asked. No one will think you're a weirdo and, if they do, other people's opinion of you is not your concern.

Not a ridiculous situation at all. People court and get engaged and then get married. It's nobody else's business. Wear the ring once it's been resized and if/when people ask or congratulate you, just thank them and smile.

Put the ring on and wait to be congratulated. Don't overthink it.

If you don't make a big deal about it most people will assume that everyone else but them knew you were in a relationship.

I'm not aware of the relationship status of all my colleagues but would congratulate anyone on their engagement anyway

This happened to my DH, funnily enough - a chap who worked for him said in a team meeting that he was on annial
leave the next week. “Oh, up to anything nice?”, someone asked. The reply - “I’m getting married…..”. My DH spluttered something like “gosh - you’re a dark horse - congratulations” and one of the other members of the team nipped out for a cake at lunchtime. But all was fine; people just assumed he wasn’t keen to chat about his personal life. And my DH is still in touch with him many years and other jobs later. So I wouldn’t worry too much!