Ridiculous Situation

Nothing wrong for keeping quiet this long at all. Your private life can be private if you wish, it does not affect your job.

@TonerNeedsReplacing has the best response.

This is perfect.

It's your business. Don't care about what others may say or think. You did it your way😊

I pay absolutely no attention to rings at all as I know loads of people who arent married/are single who wear rings on that finger. Equally, I am married but rarely wear a wedding ring. Therefore, I make no assumptions about marital status based on ring wearing at all.

We didn't announce our pregnancy during COVID. It was a very high risk pregnancy and the time never felt right. We were so terrified we'd lose him at any stage. Obviously close family knew but I never even announced it at work. We were all redeployed to different wards so I wasn't with my colleagues. So when at 28 weeks I still wasn't showing and I had to stay home, no one was aware.

3 weeks after we had him we popped a post on FB. Most were surprised but happy. Only 2 people were funny. My ex's mum - erm?? And a random person I've not seen on years 🤣
Even now I bump into people who don't know.i had another child. No one really cares that much, I promise

Same! And my ex worked for the same company (albeit in a different department). No one ever heard me cry in a toilet cubicle obviously!

Opposite end of the situation, but nobody knew at work I was going through a divorce! I had worked there for years, had children whilst being there and one day a colleague said "How is Bob?" .

"We divorced last year" I said😂she had no idea. Which I was quite chuffed about as it shows I wasn't going into work stressed and upset or ridiculously happy to actually get rid of the eejit

But it is good to keep personal things to yourself if you want to.

how do I mention to work colleagues that I’m now engaged to someone I’ve never mentioned without looking like a complete weirdo???

Bless you. You dont need to mention it OR announce it- this isnt the big deal you think it is. Wear the ring and I bet half the people in your office wont even notice it.

As Eleanor Roosevelt said: "You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do."

I have had colleagues who it's taken me years to find out they have another half. Some people just don't talk about personal stuff at work at all, and that's OK.

Literally one guy it is only when I became his line manager for a bit and therefore saw his next of kin and realised he'd been living with a woman the whole time (who he did start to mention a little, only ever as 'my partner' in the months following).

You wear the ring and say nothing.

I have more than one colleague that keeps does not share relationship information.

if people volunteer information that is fine, but until that point it is none of our business.

You don't need to announce your engagement.
Just get on with your work.
If someone notices your ring and asks about it you can say yes, x proposed.

I hate any kind of attention!

This is probably why you are assuming everyone will be shocked by it.

They really wont. Like a PP I have never once even noticed what rings anyone in our office is wearing. I know one or two of my colleagues are married/cohabiting because they talk about it, absolutely no idea about the others because they dont talk about it and I dont ask. Not to sound rude or anything but I really dont care about other's private lives, it's nothing to do with me. They are my colleagues, not my friends.

No idea what the issue is.
I wouldn't even notice if a work colleague came into work wearing a ring they weren't wearing before.
I have been married 2 years and only started wearing a wedding ring 2 months ago and no one noticed either way.
I work for a company that has 120 employees and I only know the relationship status of the person I work with closely every day.

no one at work knew I was seeing my now DH until I turned up wearing an engagement ring. It took ages before anyone clocked it too. Don’t worry about it, plenty of people keep their private lives private, and unless you’ve been actually lying and denying having a boyfriend, most people will respect that.

How did you get engaged while thinking the whole time he was going to dump you?
Are you happy or just relieved?

THIS. I think you are waaaay overthinking this. Most people will just be like oh wow- congrats! and then it'll be completely gone from their heads. People really dont think about us to the extent we think they do- most people are entirely focused on their own stuff.

If someone at work did this I really wouldnt bat an eyelid, I'd just presume they were a private person. No big deal at all.

My parents didn't tell anyone they were getting married. I believe there were a few noses out of joint at the time but everyone got over it! Congratulations!

We had similar. worked with a group of women in customer service call center. went for lunch and everything together. just one evening clocking off and walking out together discussing weekend as itbwas Friday eve and one girl remarked oh yeah I am getting married tomorrow. we did think it was a bit strange e0ecailly as lunch everyday and worked quite closely together. 🙄 but we did wish her well and got her flowers and champagne when she came back I would just drop it in conversation to people in work. everyone will be very happy for you.

Me too, I casually mentioned my first grandchild when she was a month old! Some of us keep work and home very separate.

Gently OP, I think you've made this a far bigger deal than you need to 😘

Congratulations! Wear your ring, if someone asks, then say as much as you want to!

I lived with my now DH for 3 years (we worked together, but at different locations) before most of our colleagues knew we were an item and we got engaged / married without much fuss either, as it suits us. Your colleagues will be happy for you and I rarely ask about partners unless I've met them, so not unsual not to overshare and I am often grateful when people don't - thinking here of a colleague who really doesn't know when not to say something!! Congratulations on your engagement.

People are usually happy for a colleague when they get engaged, and enjoy admiring the ring and so on. I doubt anyone will be too worried that they were unaware of your DPs existence before this. It's not obligatory to talk about your private life at work.

Congratulations! Are you going to announce it though? Why not just wear the ring and if anyone clocks it you can say: “Yes, recently got engaged, I just prefer to keep my work and home life separate.” Not a big deal, not a weirdo!

I'd just accept that they're going to think you're a bit of a weirdo.

Once I realised that "y'know what, I am a bit weird, and I don't particularly care" I became a lot happier. Pretty much everyone's a bit weird in one way or another. Just own it.