Can someone explain married people’s surnames?

I kept my surname but would have changed it if my birth one had been awful e.g. Smelly or Pratt etc Why should anyone judge anyone on their choice of surname

I fully planned to take my husband’s name (as he already had a child so it was the only way to give us all the same surname as a family) but I haven’t got round to it as the paperwork is such a headache so I’m legally my maiden name.

They usually have their fathers name. J have my father's name and I feel quite connected to it which is one of many reasons I didn't change it on marriage.

My colleague and husband both took on a brand new name so their kids will have their name.

I’ve read through all the posts on here and it is SO good to see so many posters who are against the archaic and sexist practise of women changing their names on marriage!

I’ve been married over 30 years and I kept my name. Which raised many eyebrows - but funnily enough, no one asked my husband if he’d be taking my name!

And again, so many posters calling out those who make the tired old claim that their husband’s surname was nicer and easier to spell. It’s amazing how many men get the good surnames and women get the crap ones 🙄

It’s wonderful to see a growing opposition to this awful old practice and I’m increasingly confident that in the future it will be consigned to the bin, where it belongs.

We kept our own. We aren't very traditional though - no ring etc. We didn't have a wedding, we got married just the two of us for financial reasons, which I thinknis kore level-headed than the idea of love and romance (we do of course love each other).

A girl at work made one up woth her husband to break free from the idea of belonging to a man's family name (him or her dad). It's quite lovely that they have something just those two. Something impound have done uf I wasn't so lazy about changing paperwork.

Weird isn’t it!

You can change your name to whatever you want as long as it isn’t for illegal reasons.
I am against women changing their names on marriage although I respect the right to do so. When I marrIed my husband changed his name - when we divorced he changed it back.

If I were to remarry, I'd keep my own name. Changed it to his when I married yonks ago and changed it back to my birth name when we divorced. I like what the Spanish do, where women keep their own name and children have both parents' names. Everyone has two surnames though.

Particularly in Europe where different customs apply so officials are familiar with different surnames in a family.

In Spain women don't change their name on marriage. In Italy women keep their name but have the choice of adding their husband's. In France a woman's official name remains the same but traditionally she uses her husband's as a "known by" name - and if they divorce she can just revert to her official name, no paperwork required.

No that’s wrong, a man can take the woman’s surname with a marriage certificate, no deed poll required. Either party can take the other’s name or any combination of the two names, it’s the same for same sex couples.

You can do what you want. Tradition is a solution to problems that we forgot existed. Just because it's considered antiquated doesn't mean we shouldn't do it/use it. I took my husband's name as per tradition and didn't double-barrel it. I didn't like my maiden name much anyway.

Do you have any brothers? Did they get their own names?

And if its Your name, its yours to change if you want to.

People are entitled to their own opinions on their own name. Simply...I like my married surname more than I did my birth surname. I love my family, but wasn't attached to the name.
I've very attached to my married surname. It suits our family.

All the women in my circle kept their own names. Most also gave their children their own. As did I.

Makes far more sense. The divorce rate is high. Women are nearly always the primary carers, many fathers become absent. It is more practical for children to have the mum's name.

It was your name not your father's.

Why is it your husband's name not his father's name? Men don't own names.

I actually kept my first husbands surname! I'm now married to DH2 but kept it as I didn't want a different last name to DD.

When she's grown up I will probably change it to my current DHs name.

Split when mine were 12,14, 17. They have exes surname (we weren’t married and it was my choice as I’ve spelt my name out every single time I’ve given it!). Anyway, I never provided any documentation that he had my permission for them to travel when he took them abroad.

My name is nicer than my husband’s

I kept it 😀

"His was nicer and easier to spell."

Ah yes, the old "men's last names are so much nicer and easier to spell" trope! 🤣

I’ve recently researched my family tree.

i can follow the male line no problem. Birth certs, death certs.

if I want to follow the female line it is a million times harder. Once their names change they’re a nightmare to keep track of.

we’re losing our female history because of tradition.

Traditions can be good but the majority of women automatically taking their husbands surname on marriage is antiquated and derogatory.

You need those documents to travel whether you have the same surname or not.

you must be able to show you have permission from all parties with PR.

surnames are irrelevant.

That's because the op asked what you can do not what people usually do.

In the UK?
Yes. You can do whatever you like. 🤷 Keep yours, change yours to the man's, change his to yours, change it to both or pick an entirely new one.

So sad to lose our traditions. I live in quite a traditional rural area and every house/ farm Is known by the family name. Many have been the same for years/ generations.