5yo doesn't want milk at bedtime...

My 2yo doesn't have milk at bedtime. They're being weird.

No way, she doesn't need bedtime milk. If she needs a drink she should have a cup of water on her bedside table.

I also think serving sloppy leftovers of pudding every 6 weeks is stingy too. How about make a pudding especially for her?!

For gods sake just give the poor child the fruit, tell bil it's your house and if they want free childcare she gets what she's given at yours.
She's too old for bedtime milk anyway.

DS is five he likes milk at bedtime, it's warm it's comforting, he has a cup with a story before we brush his teeth, he also has fruit after dinner if he wants it. If he doesn't want milk (like tonight because it was too warm) that's fine too. At five I don't think they're too old to have milk , I also don't think they need milk unless there is a nutritional issue (sounds like she eats well so this is unlikely). It's a bit odd for them to be so rigid about it but she's their child I guess.

Milk at bedtime at 5 is batshit.

Your brother is incredibly unreasonable getting angry at you for taking care of their daughter and offering her fruit FFS.

Ungrateful shits.

It's not like it's crack. It's their job to parent their child in their care. Children make demands. They need to deal with it.

I could understand if she was asking for chocolate instead of milk.. but fruit?! They sound nuts! My 2 year old doesn’t really have milk before bed anymore and he used to absolutely love it every single night. It’s not a big deal.

Humans are naturally lactose intolerant at approx 5 years or over, it's not particularly good for us to drink quantities of milk aside from infancy.

Absurd to give a grown five year old bedtime milkies!

I have lots of friends whose kids do stuff at a similar age that they’ve done since infancy/toddlerhood and the parents sort of forget that they should have grown out of it by now / haven’t challenged to see if it’s not needed. For example, friends of mine still have a baby monitor for their five year old (no issues with the size or layout of the house, no special needs etc). She also still carries her comforter EVERYWHERE and still has a white noise machine at night. She’s nearly 6. These things aren’t actively harmful but they become so ingrained in your routine you fear removing them or simply forget to bother.

I bet the bedtime milk is the same for your brother and SIL.

Plus, I bet my 5yo would still manage a glass of milk at bedtime if she’d had some fruit?!

Such a weird thing for them to get hung up about.

I ideally wouldn’t want my kids to have fruit at bedtime because brushing your teeth straight after fruit is probably very bad for them. But we still offer fruit after dinner as there’s usually at least 30 mins before brushing. But my kids gave up milk at bedtime around 2 years maybe. Sometimes if they’re still hungry after dinner we’ll offer a bowl of porridge

even tho they’re the parents and it’s their rules. You also get to be fun auntie and make your own rules whilst you’re on duty. Depending on how your relationship is with your brother and SIL

Tell them bananas help you sleep just as well as milk

Loads on MN, far too full of sugar

She doesn't need milk at bedtime. My eldest was formula fed, and we switched her to cows milk in cups from about 13/14 months and I think persevered until she was 18 months before we realised she didn't really like milk and it was just a waste so we stopped it. She's never been a milk drinker but would get her calcium from cheese, yoghurt or milk in porridge/Weetabix.

I agree I think the parents have got a notion in thejr heads and are too entrenched to change it. If it was sweets/biscuits you were offering I could maybe understand but a fruit or even yogurt is fine.

YANBU. A five year old doesn't need milk at bedtime, how odd.

It’s totally up to her parents. It may not be about milk specifically, but it may be that it’s part of settling down/bedtime routine and that additional snack interrupts that routine. Why don’t you just ask them about it if your curious?

But no, kids don’t need milk at bed time.

I think as auntie you have to follow the parents wishes really. But I think they are being silly.

A 5yo with a healthy, balanced diet who is growing well doesn't need to have milk before bed. My 6yo still usually does, but she loves milk and is a fussy eater and very slim. My 2.5yo gets offered it but usually only has a few sips tops, he's a better eater and lost most of his interest in milk before he'd even turned 1, much preferring food! He's a healthy weight too but almost at the other end of the healthy scale! All kids are different. Some love milk and others not so much. Mine often have fruit after dinner and then they get offered milk about half an hour later.

Laughing because me and DH are on different sides of the fence on this one. DS is nearly 6 and DH will still make him drink his milk - it’s something ingrained from his own childhood I think about having milk to grow. I am not remotely bothered so don’t push if he doesn’t want it. Incedently, ds had fruit AND milk at bedtime. Is that an option? i.e. she only gets fruit if she drinks her milk as well.

Wait, I’ve also just noticed that as well as telling you not to offer your niece fruit, they’ve also told you not to have fruit in case your niece wants some?’

What an entitled pair of arseholes. You provide them with weekly childcare AND cook them all a bloody meal and they’re telling you that you can’t have fruit in your own house!

My 20 month old is offered milk before bed and it's 50/50 if it is drunk or not.

Her parents are being very strange.

Who in their right mind says no to a child asking for fruit 😳

Ask them why. Neither of mine had milk at bedtime past around turning 2. It's not great for your teeth whether you brush before or after either.

Her parents are weird. She is a child not a baby, and fruit is a healthy snack.

Five year olds don't typically need milk at bedtime, but this five year old's parents think she does. Maybe it's a long standing part of their bedtime routine, maybe they think it helps her sleep better, maybe they struggle to get enough calcium into her diet in other ways.

I don't think you've done anything wrong, at all, but it's obviously a big deal for them for some reason.

This is so strange. No she doesn’t need milk before bed. Don’t see anything wrong with her having some fruit after dinner either!

They're being utterly ridiculous, she doesn't need milk before bed and if she wants fruit they should just bloody well let her have fruit.

God help them if she goes through an "I absolutely will not eat anything that isn't the colour beige" phase. With kids you must always pick your battles.

However this isn't your battle to pick so stay out of it for your own sanity!