5yo doesn't want milk at bedtime...

Stopped giving my youngest son milk at bedtime when he was 9 months old. He just didn't want it after eating solids for his tea. Milk at 5 is absurd to me

If she doesn’t want milk before bed they can’t make her have it. Nothing wrong with her having fruit after tea it’s a healthy snack. As long as it’s not oranges or grapefruit that can interfere with their sleep if eaten later on. If the milk is to help her sleep bananas kiwi and cherries actually help you get to sleep. I usually do fruit with plain Greek yogurt after tea so that might be an option for her instead of the milk

Unless there's some specific medical need then she doesn't need milk at bedtime.

It's awkward though because she is their child, and they can ask you not to give her fruit. I think they're out of order asking you not to have fruit though. If they don't want her having fruit they'll have to enforce it.

Alternatively, could she pick a piece of fruit to take home with her for breakfast or something? Or have a piece as a snack when she gets to your house?

This absolutely!
I was forced to drink milk as a child and was totally miserably every day three times a day as I hated the stuff (and still do.)
And I think it's terrible that they are preventing her from choosing fruit which is a really healthy choice..... not sure what to suggest you do, as it's definitely tricky.

She's 5 years, not 5 months!😬

I would have said the same a few months ago. But actually, right now, we're having a 'fruit holiday', I.e. no fruit for a few days. It became a battle, he wanted fruit before every meal, often eating a whole pear, then not attempting much else. Then the whole day was punctuated with whining for fruit.

Also he was eating so much fruit a preschool (everyone had 2 slices then they gave him the box to finish), he was getting diarrhea Tues-Thurs. Yes fruit is way better than UPF snacks, BUT too much is not great, either.

So, unless this kid is eating 6 portions of fruit a day and there is more to this than 'not drinking her milk', then I agree with all the Pps. This is VERY odd behaviour!

That's ridiculous she isn't a baby that needs milk. Poor kid she just wants some fruit. It's a sad day when fruit is a no no.

My son used to love milk, especially at bed time, then one day said "I don't like milk" and never drinks it now. This happened when turned four. She was always going to go off milk, it wasn't bc of the fruit. Even so, no one could have predicted that she'd never have milk again bc you offered her fruit, so they're being nonsensical.

If she doesn't want milk at bedtime, then she shouldn't have to have it - at 5, she really doesn't need it. Giving milk close to bedtime is quite bad for teeth and dentists do try to discourage it - fruit maybe worse given it's more acidic (but I don't think it has anymore sugar content than milk). As long as there is 30 minutes between eating food/drinking milk and the teeth are cleaned then it should be fine.

A big issue with giving milk close to bedtime is that younger children often fall asleep with the nipple/teat in their mouths (and so the milk, which contains sugar, pools in their mouths) , I really don't think giving fruit is going to cause the same result!

Milk is nasty and unnecessary.

Milk aside, our dentist said its not great to give fruit close to bedtime as it's acidic and brushing teeth within an hour causes damage.

My 5yo breastfeeds at night but this is so odd.

She doesn't need milk at that age and why would they discourage fruit?

So bizarre and ridiculous but I'm not sure what you can do about it.

Are you looking after her as a favour to them or because you want to?

What a fabulous way to develop a problematic relationship with food.

They sound bonkers. Bedtime milk is supposed to stop at 12 months because they need to brush their teeth afterwards. Of course lots of kids still like it in the evening but then it’s just a drink, not ‘bedtime milk’. My 7YO drinks it with dinner, my 3YO doesn’t really like it but will have it on cereal for breakfast. A small piece of fruit isn’t going to have much baring on her appetite, and is also part of a healthy diet so no idea why they’d be discouraging that. Also talk about rude and ungrateful when you’re providing childcare then cooking them all dinner once a week.

Brother and SiL are mad at me because it's become a battle of wills every day getting her to have her milk

shes 5 she doesn't need milk.

ask them why they're mad at you for having a fruit bowl in your own kitchen?

Shes 5, she's at school. Theyre going to need to learn she has her own likes/dislikes etc and she's not a baby. Wanting fruit, not milk isn't something worth fighting over. It's not like she wants hating instead!! Even if she did the answer, is no, no Haribo NOT you must drink milk.

Do not be apologetic, you're not in the wrong in any way! Poor kid sounds like she's going to need someone 'in her corner' growing up.

The parents are being daft because most kids grow out of bedtime milk quite young. Then you have to find other methods of getting some calcium into them!

Breakfast is a good time (with cereal or in porridge), or school milk at break time. We usually have a fish pie or macaroni cheese or a carbonara made with milk once a week. Cheese on toast for lunch at the weekend. And then there’s always yoghurt for dessert. Or even one of those chewy calcium kids supplements.

You sound v sensible and they are being weird. PFB problem I think.

They should be dying with gratitude for the help you offer, not to mention having dinner cooked for them all once a week, some people are just nuts - and rude. Would they want to drink milk at bedtime? Ugh.

maybe they are struggling to get enough protein and calcium and vitamins into her, and don't want her to have another sugary snack like fruit instead?

They are a pair of cheeky fuckers for being mad at you!

You provide them with childcare, take their kid to gym class and then feed them all, and they are telling you not to eat fruit in your own house?
Tell them to do one!

Your niece is obviously not full from a piece of fruit, she just doesn't want the milk.

They may have their reasons, though I can’t (as the mother of a five year old who would look at me askance if I offered him milk at bed time for sure) see what those reasons might be. But it is absolutely not your fault that this problem, whatever it is, exists, and you definitely haven’t done anything wrong. You sound like an absolute godsend, actually. YANBU at all.

I can't believe that she's so full from eating a piece of fruit that she can't drink her bedtime milk! She just doesn't want the milk, which is fine - a 5 year old doesn't need milk at bedtime. Your brother & SIL can just offer water instead. Incidentally, I think they've got a cheek getting arsey with you about it when you're offering free childcare and cooking them all a meal!

She doesn't need milk. No one 'needs' it after they have been weaned really.

I think it’s unfair that you are being so good fo your niece and her mum and dad are making issue of such a minor thing !!!

At five, she doesn't need milk and often a few children start to not tolerate it.

However, you really shouldn't give children fruit near bedtime even if they brush their teeth afterwards, according to dentists. Fruit may be good for most of our bodies but not for our teeth.