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To feel pleased that neighbour’s kids are being pulled out of private school?

411 replies

grengat · 26/06/2024 20:07

I am friends ish with my neighbour and I do feel very conflicted about this. Since we moved in 5 years ago we have had it ALL about her son’s education. How he’s doing so well, on the path to a brilliant future, all the sports he’s doing… every time we see her she manages to mention something about the bloody school! We could never afford it and she knows this. Anyway… turns out he won’t be going back after Christmas and they are looking round state schools this week. I feel great about it. Finally my kids are on a level playing field with this kid and I am glad it’s happened. Think I just need a safe space to say it as obviously can’t IRL!

OP posts:
thankyoujeremy · 26/06/2024 22:01

In the last year I have had my mind opened regarding private schools and I have learnt that it isn't quite as black and white as 'they are rich and entitled'. I would have felt a little of your smugness once but the reasons that people send their children to paid for institutions are more complicated than you realise. And some pay over a hundred grand for their kids to come out with only mediocre results.

I know you were irked and her gloating but again you may not know where that is coming from, and aren't we all super proud of our offspring doing well?

We have not been party to the ongoing comments so can't fully appreciate your situation but perhaps you could be the bigger person and have a little more compassion (if only secretly).

It's a very devise topic...

MovedByFanciesThatAreCurled · 26/06/2024 22:01

grengat · 26/06/2024 20:07

I am friends ish with my neighbour and I do feel very conflicted about this. Since we moved in 5 years ago we have had it ALL about her son’s education. How he’s doing so well, on the path to a brilliant future, all the sports he’s doing… every time we see her she manages to mention something about the bloody school! We could never afford it and she knows this. Anyway… turns out he won’t be going back after Christmas and they are looking round state schools this week. I feel great about it. Finally my kids are on a level playing field with this kid and I am glad it’s happened. Think I just need a safe space to say it as obviously can’t IRL!

I’m sure someone has already mentioned this but I am pretty sure you won’t feel so smug when your children’s class sizes rocket.

DoIhavegreeneyes · 26/06/2024 21:59

The Politics of Envy
For whom will you vote OP?

Allfur · 26/06/2024 21:59

Sleepydoor · 26/06/2024 21:51

OP, hopefully her son gets a random head injury and then you'll really have the upper hand!
/s

Education choices and random head injuries are hardly comparable

Waystation · 26/06/2024 21:58

What a horrible post - being gleeful about another persons misfortune - particularly a child - I think you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

HughsMermaid · 26/06/2024 21:57

Theimpossiblegirl · 26/06/2024 20:09

Personally I don't take pleasure in other people's difficulties. They must have been overstretching themselves. I'd have found their smugness annoying too but the upheaval must be hard for the kid.

This exactly 💯. Poor kid will have huge upheaval.

PyongyangKipperbang · 26/06/2024 21:55

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

😅😅

Radiatorrung · 26/06/2024 21:55

OP, hopefully her son gets a random head injury and then you'll really have the upper hand!

wtf! The child is moving schools, not ideal but his life isn’t over.

Sunhatweather · 26/06/2024 21:53

Wow. Just ‘wow’. If you find yourself basking in another person’s misfortune, you need to work on yourself.

Radiatorrung · 26/06/2024 21:53

Just because all our MPs went to private school, you think that just granted them instant access to the opportunity to be PM one day? You don't think they had to graft? I bet you benefited from furlough or wfh opportunity? I didn't

what on earth does furlough and remote working have to do with anything?!

Janehasamane · 26/06/2024 21:52

Wow, how envious were you. 😱

Sleepydoor · 26/06/2024 21:51

OP, hopefully her son gets a random head injury and then you'll really have the upper hand!
/s

Justgorgeous · 26/06/2024 21:51

Be better than this.

Allfur · 26/06/2024 21:49

BillyNoMates9 · 26/06/2024 21:46

How unkind! The poor son hasn't done anything wrong, he is probably suffering a lot atm and will do for a while, imagine removing your child from a school they enjoy?!

I can understand being pleased the bragging parents will now pipe down, but sad for the child.

The parents of that child are the ones to take responsibility

Margot2017 · 26/06/2024 21:49

You sound really awful - what kind of person takes pleasure in what must be a deeply upsetting development for a child? I wouldn’t want to know you IRL.

CelesteCunningham · 26/06/2024 21:48

CreateUserNames · 26/06/2024 21:45

What’s the purpose for this post? Trying to let your neighbours see? Trying to share your joy? Trying to be told it’s ok to be happy?

A) drum up sympathy for private school pupils who may need to move school.

B) make state school parents look bad.

VaccineSticker · 26/06/2024 21:48

You are a jealous, nasty piece of work.

Like someone else posted up thread, blowing someone else’s candles won’t make yours shine any brighter.

Her child is more likely to do better in life regardless of her financial situation because research shows that the higher expectations you have for your children the better they achieved in life.
Focus on your own children and stop feasting on people’s miseries.

SouthLondonMum22 · 26/06/2024 21:47

Comedycook · 26/06/2024 21:46

Oh I'm sure they could manage it if they gave up netflix and avocados 😉

Or Sky TV like poor Rishi. 😂

BillyNoMates9 · 26/06/2024 21:46

How unkind! The poor son hasn't done anything wrong, he is probably suffering a lot atm and will do for a while, imagine removing your child from a school they enjoy?!

I can understand being pleased the bragging parents will now pipe down, but sad for the child.

StormingNorman · 26/06/2024 21:46

You never meet a hater who’s a step ahead of you.

Keep on hating x

Comedycook · 26/06/2024 21:46

SouthLondonMum22 · 26/06/2024 21:42

Everyone has bills to pay. They usually don’t have spare money at the end of it for private school.

Plenty of people also work hard and still can’t afford private school.

Oh I'm sure they could manage it if they gave up netflix and avocados 😉

CreateUserNames · 26/06/2024 21:45

What’s the purpose for this post? Trying to let your neighbours see? Trying to share your joy? Trying to be told it’s ok to be happy?

piningforautumn · 26/06/2024 21:42

She sounds annoying, but you don't sound very nice, either. If she was so awful, the thing to do was limit contact with her or say something to make it clear that you didn't appreciate her gloating.

The truth is that there is no such thing as an equal start or a completely level playing field in life, so... 💁You'd be better off focusing your energies on improving your children's lives and trying to cut down on the spite.

SouthLondonMum22 · 26/06/2024 21:42

Idontunderstand2024 · 26/06/2024 20:47

Do the math, it isn't hard. With mortgage, bills etc it's not an easy choice.

And if you say you wouldn't send your children to a private school given the opportunity you would be a liar.

Just because all our MPs went to private school, you think that just granted them instant access to the opportunity to be PM one day? You don't think they had to graft? I bet you benefited from furlough or wfh opportunity? I didn't

Everyone has bills to pay. They usually don’t have spare money at the end of it for private school.

Plenty of people also work hard and still can’t afford private school.

ZebraD · 26/06/2024 21:42

Mean!

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