To feel pleased that neighbour’s kids are being pulled out of private school?

The OP is a grown woman. As you say, it’s been years. So why at no point has she just cut this neighbour off mid-brag and said “Oh, how nice - anyway, must dash”? Why is she friends-ish with her instead of keeping her at arm’s length and tuning out from the running commentary on the virtues of private schools?

It seems like OP has been too wet to distance herself and has now gone to the other extreme of being delighted in her neighbour’s misfortune - even though it affects the child far more than the parent.

Yes I don’t think this has anything to do with one’s stance on private school…

It is just spiteful and nasty.

What a nasty person you are. I’m sure this child has done nothing to you, and you are finding great satisfaction in the fact that part of their life is now disrupted. They have to leave their friends, start a school as the new kid and adapt to a different environment through no fault of their own.

You are either seriously jealous or seriously miserable. What a vile vile human being you must be.
That poor child and your poor neighbour is probably devastated that she can no longer afford to give her child the best opportunities, which was clearly very important to her.

Why would you ever be happy about something clearly going wrong for someone? It's not nice, is it?

I'm no fan of private education but...

how weird and spiteful to be pleased at the misfortunate of other, innocent people.

J for jealousy, my friend

Most of the time, people are just proud and excited about their achievements and children. Talking about these things is not showing off, but if you are always looking from a jealous point of view you will take it like that!

If anything , she will probably now have more money and will indulge in other things that will probably trigger your green eyed monster!

Oh come off it. Kids move schools all the time, for all sorts if reasons and cope perfectly well.
This odious woman has been rubbing the op's nose in it for years, and now karma has got her!

Some kids will have more natural ability at some things than others. What would you do about that? Stop the good footballers joining a club?

And there's never going to be a 'level playing field' where all kids get the same because parents will pay or have time/knowledge to offer another level of support/input. Some parents will have more resources regardless and some less.

I do not usually post on msg like this but you sound like a truly unpleasant, jealous individual.
Wishing ill onto a child is about as low as you can go.

You’d make a good Stalinist, OP. What next? Collectivising your neighbour’s garden if it’s too big? Arresting anyone with “bourgeois” professional qualifications or too much money in ISAs? There will always be someone doing better than you and someone doing worse. Surely it’s better to have a neighbour who is trying to improve their lot than a race to the bottom?

Hear hear. Excellent post.

Finally my kids are on a level playing field with this kid and I am glad it’s happened.

I think you’ll find that socioeconomic factors are far more influential than schools. Parents who value education and are well-educated themselves, talk to their DC, give their DC access to books, travel and cultural experiences. These are the main drivers for academic success.

Unless you can replicate the home life and experiences of the DC next door, your DC are not on a level playing field (not saying better or worse, just not level).

It's devastating for the child, which lasts for a very long time. They face being teased, bullied at their new school. They've lost all their friends.

It's wicked to take any pleasure from this alone.

This is such an excellent post, it needs to be repeated again.

I think you need to work on yourself OP. You should start reading some of the ancient texts, some philosophy perhaps. You could really do with changing your thinking.

I really feel for that poor kid. You are extremely mean spirited. Do you think you deserve good things to come to you, considering how pleased you are about someone else's misery?

Wow, this is one of the more unpleasant things I’ve read on MumsNet. Have an opinion about private schools generally but don’t take joy in someone else’s misfortune.

You do know this won't make any difference to her bragging though. If she chooses a different state school then she will brag about how much better that state school is. If they go to the same school then it will be constant comparison about their results, sports teams etc.

While I feel sorry for her son I voted YANBU because of the boasting/gloating like my SIL about her son in grammar school.

Sometimes though, hearing shit like that can spur a youngster on to prove differently, especially if they are smart and have an independent streak. Success is not only the domain of doctors and lawyers. How's she going to react if her son decides to fuck off abroad away from her 'plans for Nigel' and be a poet in poverty?

Spare me.

Is this just "education choices"? The OP's neighbour's child's life is being negatively affected. He's probably going to lose his friendship groups and have to make adjustments that may negatively affect his learning. Probably suffer emotionally, socially and educationally. Not to mention we don't know why he has to switch schools but it may mean the family is going through job loss or financial trouble.

But the OP is delighted that a shitty thing has happened to an innocent kid because "finally my kids are on a level playing field with this kid and I am glad it’s happened."

It’s not going to be a level playing field though, because if the vat has tipped her over, the money she won’t be spending on school fees, she will spend on tutoring and her kid will be now in direct competition for the best state school places, grammars or such with your kids, not much to be gleeful about, is it?

Wow. I can't believe that an adult would write such a cruel and petty post. I truly hope that if you and your kids go through tough times and you are forced into unpalatable choices - that you have people around you who will lift you up and help you through. Be that person now. Do better.

well this is why I feel our grossly unfair that all these years my dc have been at a disadvantage. All kids should start from the same place.

Yes, all children should start from a point of disadvantage, for fairness reasons..

The money from VAT is not going to sort out the shitty education system. It's beyond madness to think it will. How about a policy that actually lifts the state system out of the absolute pits the Tories have put it in, rather than one that just aims to make the private system as shit as the state system for "fairness"?

The problem with this headline VAT policy is that it is being marketed as the magic pill to cure the state system, which it won't, but there are seemingly NO other cures for its ills! Seriously - how is Labour going to actually lift it out of the pit without general tax rises? Because VAT on private school fees is not going to do it, and gloating over your neighbour is not going to pay for new teachers either, no matter how good it makes you feel OP.