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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel pleased that neighbour’s kids are being pulled out of private school?

411 replies

grengat · 26/06/2024 20:07

I am friends ish with my neighbour and I do feel very conflicted about this. Since we moved in 5 years ago we have had it ALL about her son’s education. How he’s doing so well, on the path to a brilliant future, all the sports he’s doing… every time we see her she manages to mention something about the bloody school! We could never afford it and she knows this. Anyway… turns out he won’t be going back after Christmas and they are looking round state schools this week. I feel great about it. Finally my kids are on a level playing field with this kid and I am glad it’s happened. Think I just need a safe space to say it as obviously can’t IRL!

OP posts:
PossumintheHouse · 26/06/2024 20:43

grengat · 26/06/2024 20:41

I obviously feel for the kid, I know he is upset by it. I was referring to the mum and the constant looking down on my dc.

OK, OP. Give us all a couple of examples re the boastful chatter of your 'friend"?

TheFormidableMrsC · 26/06/2024 20:42

@grengat

well this is why I feel our grossly unfair that all these years my dc have been at a disadvantage. All kids should start from the same place

This comment that shows what a nasty bitter person you are because they've been able to afford private education and you haven't. I went to private school, as far as I am concerned my children have had a far superior state education. If your children haven't done well then perhaps you'd better look closer to home. Imagine wishing this on a child? Christ.

Gummybear23 · 26/06/2024 20:42

grengat · 26/06/2024 20:07

I am friends ish with my neighbour and I do feel very conflicted about this. Since we moved in 5 years ago we have had it ALL about her son’s education. How he’s doing so well, on the path to a brilliant future, all the sports he’s doing… every time we see her she manages to mention something about the bloody school! We could never afford it and she knows this. Anyway… turns out he won’t be going back after Christmas and they are looking round state schools this week. I feel great about it. Finally my kids are on a level playing field with this kid and I am glad it’s happened. Think I just need a safe space to say it as obviously can’t IRL!

How bitchy.

Rosemarycc · 26/06/2024 20:42

I can see why you might feel that way, inwardly I might think hah serves you right, bragging cow…. Who wouldn’t?! Deep down though I’d like to think you would know that actually it’s very sad for the children and not their fault, and they definitely don’t deserve it.

Original poster
grengat · 26/06/2024 20:41

I obviously feel for the kid, I know he is upset by it. I was referring to the mum and the constant looking down on my dc.

OP posts:
TheSerenePinkOrca · 26/06/2024 20:41

YABU.

For every private school child that costs the government £0, the government will now have to pay almost £7500 a year for that child's education.

And with the spare £20k the family would now have you'll get to listen to them tell you all about their holidays instead!

Fishcake15 · 26/06/2024 20:41

Anywherebuthere · 26/06/2024 20:38

Speak for yourself.

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Give over! We all know a parent like this who is an absolute show off and would secretly love to see them taken down a peg.

UneFoisAuChalet · 26/06/2024 20:40

Aah, I’m going to sound superstitious but I wouldn’t think shit like that because it could very well be your child one day that loses out on something that you both highly valued. Karma man. Enjoying the misery of others isn’t a good look.

CelesteCunningham · 26/06/2024 20:40

Well at least it's a creative new angle on the VAT threads. Hmm

Hellotoyousir · 26/06/2024 20:40

Well, don’t worry there are plenty of us you can’t see. Those of us who send our kids to the top public schools where fees are high won’t be bothered by this change so you, like the Labour Party, are sacrificing your friends and those in the middle for people who will never ever be affected. Go you.

Ereyraa · 26/06/2024 20:39

Vile. Your children still aren’t on an equal playing field with your neighbour; they’ve got you as a mother, your attitude will seep into them.

Mummy2024 · 26/06/2024 20:39

grengat · 26/06/2024 20:35

@summersofdoom well this is why I feel our grossly unfair that all these years my dc have been at a disadvantage. All kids should start from the same place.

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It's not her fault that your kids have been at a disadvantage though, nor should you want a child lucky enough no to be disadvantaged to be disadvantaged so that they won't end up more successful than your child.

I have to say this says alot about you OP, tbh. I'm happy for any kid that gets a decent education and I don't blame them for the fact that my kids don't or want theirs taken away.

OperationGoldDawn · 26/06/2024 20:39

grengat · 26/06/2024 20:35

@summersofdoom well this is why I feel our grossly unfair that all these years my dc have been at a disadvantage. All kids should start from the same place.

Show quote history

but once they start its never equal, some will learn quick, some will struggle, some will have tutors, some will visit museums, historical areas, some will be encouraged by others to learn more, so basically the whole state vs private being equal etc is a faciallicy to begin with because regardless of school, its still down to the individual and wether they have the drive to study more and learn more etc

Tiswa · 26/06/2024 20:39

There is no equal playing field op, none at all. Kids don’t start from an equal footing ever. Even siblings don’t (first born will always benefit from that vital one to one stuff)

yes I can imagine the boasting is annoying but your reaction isn’t justified by that

Meadowfinch · 26/06/2024 20:38

You're glorying in a child being distressed and having his education disrupted.

It makes no difference to you or your family's situation at all.

You're not nice, are you!

Anywherebuthere · 26/06/2024 20:38

Fishcake15 · 26/06/2024 20:35

Anyone who says they wouldn't feel smug about this is a liar!

Speak for yourself.

PossumintheHouse · 26/06/2024 20:38

grengat · 26/06/2024 20:35

@summersofdoom well this is why I feel our grossly unfair that all these years my dc have been at a disadvantage. All kids should start from the same place.

Show quote history

You're living in cloud cuckoo. No child ever starts off from the same place. From their basic intelligence, to how they're brought up, how they're parented, what they do, who they know... There is no level playing field. Fuck knows how bitter you'll be when their child is still excelling next year.

IceQueenoftheWest · 26/06/2024 20:37

You're vile.

SouthLondonMum22 · 26/06/2024 20:37

Idontunderstand2024 · 26/06/2024 20:29

Seriously, wtf is wrong with people? I am sick and tired of reading posts like this and I'm childfree!!! Do you know how much sacrifice being a high earner takes? How a 100k salary sounds loads but when you take away travel, tax,, NI and pension it isn't actually that much. And why the hell wouldn't put your child into private education if you have the money. My nieces classes were a lot smaller, they got the support on subjects they were struggling with. You are nothing short of jealous and I am sick and tired of the wealthy and hard working being penalised for 'the nhs' and the unemployed

FYI, I'm not wealthy, I am out the house for 12 hours a.day. I'm sorry but people like you are the problem, thinking the world owes you a free ride

Of course it's 'that much', especially if there's some money spare to send DC to private school.

mountaingoatsarehairy · 26/06/2024 20:36

Everyone is sooooo holier than thou!

if Someone mentions their AUDI every conversation or how they are just back from their holiday home in IBIZA or how they love their MULBERRY handbag it would get very annoying. And if said items then got repossessed then you’d have to be superhuman not to find it funny.

poor kid tho. But his parents should not have over reached themselves.

Original poster
grengat · 26/06/2024 20:36

soupfiend · 26/06/2024 20:13

In what way, because she is chit chatting about her life and OP is defensive, and jealous about other people so takes it the wrong way

OP sounds awful.

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@soupfiend it wasn’t chit chatting. It was regular put downs of things our dc could never do.

OP posts:
Superhansrantowindsor · 26/06/2024 20:36

Poor kid can’t help it if their parents are annoying idiots. What a strange thing to be happy about.

AStepAtaTime · 26/06/2024 20:35

Hmmmm be careful. Things have a way of coming back on you threefold 😏

Mummy2024 · 26/06/2024 20:35

grengat · 26/06/2024 20:33

@LadyFeatheringt0n yep exactly this!!!

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Yeah and the poor child is just collateral damage...

OP imagine your poor kid being forced out of school tomorrow, it closes or something would you be happy if this mum came on here saying she's absolutely delighted by your sons misery because you were delighted at her sons? What would you think of her?

Fishcake15 · 26/06/2024 20:35

Anyone who says they wouldn't feel smug about this is a liar!

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