To feel pleased that neighbour’s kids are being pulled out of private school?

Great post. Sounds like we had a similar upbringing in some regards.
I'm second generation amd grew up relatively poor. Like you, my mum found the funds for a maths tutor for me and encouraged me to read. My love of reading has stayed with me throughout my life.
She later put herself through university, became a social worker and, as a result, our living conditions improved significantly.

OP, either you're a genuinely awful person for feeling so smug about your neighbours or you're just trolling us. Either way. Ugh.

Well…you really don’t want to slip down to her level. It’s not attractive or nice and has no redeeming features.

That’s pretty vile.
whatever your feelings about private ed it’s can be extremely unsettling for kids to change school and I think it’s always a risk to their confidence and development.
you need to give your head a shake.

Still so obviously fake!!! Labour haven't got in yet, VAT isn't applied yet, private schools are a business and like any business they can choose to pass some, all, or none of this tax rise on to their customers!! They can just sell a playing field or have one fewer music teacher 🤷‍♀️ just like state school!!

This is just some imagined fantasy version of what some saddo thinks is a "state school" parent, stop falling for it 🫣

Same

This. Excellent post.

Is this a bit of a case of wishful thinking on your part, as opposed to reality OP? The school wouldn’t have even announced what next year’s fees will be yet! It’s not a given that the full cost will be passed into parents. Also, how did they get a place confirmed already at the state school you so desperately want to see them at.

Either the neighbour is winding you up or you’re winding yourself up. Your thread is possibly the most cringe-inducing thing I’ve read on MN.

Not taking it personally just feel for the child. This is a discussion thread.

Taking it a bit personally there, @Jeschara

You really are a spiteful unpleasant woman. I would not mind betting that if she did brag, it's because of your constant jealous goading. I bet you have made it clear to her how unfair it is her child goes to a private school.
Look to yourself and see what makes you so nasty. You must feel so inferior. Glad to see that a unhappy child gives you cause to be so gleeful. If this is true you are totally toxic snd best avoided.

It also won’t help the state sector because the biggest problem is parental engagement not lack of funding .

🤣🤣🤣

@CovertPiggery That is a bit different, a bit more understandable, than being gleeful about a kid being distressed because he has to make a school move he hasn't chosen, under quite humiliating (for him probably, not sure if he's a teenager but as we know they are ruthless) circumstances.

YABU for thinking MN is a safe space!

I had a similar friend who, after I bought a flat as my first home, kept banging on about how she couldn't imagine how awful it would be to live in a flat and how much better her detached house was.

The friendship faded away due to this and other unpleasant behaviours, but I must admit I did have a small smile to myself when I heard on the grapevine that she'd had to move into a flat herself.

I would never have wished anything bad to happen to her, but you can't help but feel a bit like it serves them right when people who take joy in putting others down get a taste of their own medicine.

Exactly.

People who are going to private school who have to leave the parents may well spend some of the saved money on tutors instead.

So tutors will become more in demand. More expensive and less will become available for state school students. Because private school fees could be used to fund an awful lot of tuition.

Like all of these things. Be careful what you wish for.

You sound quite jealous person. Fyi your child is not only competing with her child but millions across the world due to job market becoming quite global and very ease of talented people from around the world moving into UK. Think about that, that's the reality.

because private schools require term notice.

The parents saw Labour VAT policy and polls, understood that this will certainly happen very soon and they can't bridge the gap, so served the notice. They still have to pay for the next term in September so better for the child to still use it for one more term.

OP has had all the benefit of NOT paying school fees - I hope her kids are treated to lots of fun stuff with the spare cash!

Just shows the power of envy. The sort of motivation which led to people turning over their neighbours to the authorities under totalitarian regimes. Charming.

They won’t necessarily be on the same playing field if her son goes to state school. She will still have that money floating around so he’s still going to be at an advantage. He might end up going on more holidays or doing more extra curricular stuff. Or have a really good tutor he’s sees every week. So I wouldn’t say things will now be equal in life.

She’s not automatically going to get her son in the school she wants by the way. So If all the best state schools are full she will have to settle for whatever she can find for him in if it’s an in year move.

If her kids great and smart and amazing as she says, she's still going to talk about it regardless of what school they go to.

God. You're just horrid.

You're not a nice person.

I personally think it's absolutely vile to be happy that a child is upset. Horrible.

It also won’t help the state sector because the biggest problem is parental engagement not lack of funding .

I went to a state primary school and it was mixed socio-economically. The smart (or even average) kids from middle class and/ or educated backgrounds who did quite at primary school did well in high school and went on to uni or started businesses etc. the smart kids from backgrounds that had parents that did not value education mostly got pregnant /fathered a kid young or went into some unskilled low paid job . The difference was so stark once children got to high school they started following different routes/crowds.

My single mum didn’t have money for fancy trainers so I could be cool but she found money for tutors to help me in maths which I struggled with. My friend in comparison will buy smart phones for her kids (outright not a contract) and then look wide eyed and confused at the idea of paying for anything educationally (tutors, revision camps, extra books etc ) when her kids are saying they are struggling with work.

I know this is all just anecdotal but I’ve also seen this many times working in schools and statistics also back this up, it’s the main reason why schools with the most middle class or educated parents do well. That’s why children of low income immigrant parents often do better in education than non-immigrants kids whose parents earn a similar low income.

We need to start looking at socio-economic reasons closely. As pp said everyone at state school doesn’t mean equal footing or some nonsense. Some kids will have tutors, enriching experiences, encouragement at home to value education etc and some kids won’t.

Don’t get me wrong I think funding can offset some of the “harm” done by coming from a family where they don’t value education if it’s targeted into intiatives that aim to change mindsets, but it will only do so much. There needs to be a cultural shift overall.

YABVU. I say this as someone who dislikes the principle of private education as a contributor to social inequality and a means of elevating mediocrity amongst the wealthy, and as someone who strongly believes the loophole should be closed and VAT paid on this luxury service. However, these are political and ideological matters, and on an individual level I have empathy with people negatively impacted, whose only fault lies in taking advantage of a system created to favour them, as is human nature. There have been countless threads debating this with many people arguing the point from principle, and in turn being shouted down as jealous and spiteful. It's a great shame that in posting your thoughts you have given them evidence to say this is the case. I think your level of personal glee at someone's misfortune is the exception amongst those who support the policy. But those who don't are going to use you as the voice of us all.