Wedding invitation asking for cash gifts in advance

Definitely don't say that! It sounds so rude. Just don't say anything and then give them money at the wedding. They're not going to ask, are they?

Totally tacky. Cringe 😬

I always give cash as a gift at weddings. I wouldn't have a problem with being asked to send it before the wedding. Surely it's a gift and what they choose to spend it on is up to them?

Honestly op, I know your getting a lot of support on this thread and I agree, but I wouldn't text her about it. Your ok to give the cash day of, but I worry the text will make things awkward with a good friend. Easy for people here to scoff when they have no skin in the game.

I wouldn't send that.

I just don't think I'd reply at all to do with the demands for money.
I'd reply to the invitation (if you know, this far out, if you can attend), but not mention the money, and then do as I normally would and put the money in the card on the day.

Yuck. They are basically selling tickets to the wedding. How vulgar.

Good thinking

Quite.
As virtually everyone is agreeing with.
When you go to a wedding, it is very normal to put a cash (or cheque) donation in the card.
That's not what this couple are asking though.
They want people to all chip in, a year or so in advance. Like a 'Go Fund Me' or Crowd funding for their wedding party.

Which is entirely different.

That’s even ruder than the request to pay for your meal. Go and give a physical gift or play the game. Shaming your friend is so passive aggressive and rude.

What are you hoping to achieve? To make them feel awkward and embarrassed. Honestly if youted that offended just decline the invite

I started going to weddings twenty years ago and money gifts were the norm then so it’s hardly new. Almost every wedding I’ve been to has asked for cash, normally they’ve said towards their honeymoon. The only two that didn’t couple were very wealthy and insisted no gifts and another was abroad and they insisted no gifts due to expenses everyone incurring. I think it’s easy, and frankly whatever they’re putting the money towards is really up to them.

It says "for those of you that choose to give a gift". You don't need to give anything. Put a check in a card, if it's your intention to give on the day, and say no more. Well that's if you like the bride/groom Ne don't want to fall out over nonsense.

Send a packet of T towels for the B&G - to finish off the washing up if the pesky guests don't cough up enough to cover the clear up next day...

I like a list or a request for money etc as I hate things being wasted so I would rather make sure someone has what they wanted. I think the only thing that's wrong with this wedding invite is that they are asking for it before the wedding. Just a no no. People usually have to pay for the wedding then would use any money towards a honeymoon. Or in reality they could use any money to clear a credit card if they have used that to pay for the wedding. But it's not the done thing to ask for gifts/ money before the wedding. I think I would just transfer the money and be done with it though.

Eeeek that's embarasssing. So they are basically asking guests to fund their wedding? Will this help to decide if you get one glass of wine or two with your meal?!

Reminds me of my SIL who the day before the wedding sent a group text "reminding" people that anyone who was giving a cheque instead of cash (already very presumptuous) needs to make it out to her maiden name. The same message was sent out to all of BILs family too so his side of the family were supposed to write cheques to her

Yep exactly! Cash is fine, this is pretty much buying a ticket to their wedding.

I don't actually think asking for cash if you choose to give anything is really any different to having a gift list.

I don't thik anyone on this thread is disagreeing with that @Itsrainingten . Many (most?) of us are quite happy to give cash when we go to a wedding.

It's the "buying your ticket 9 - 12 months ahead" that most people are shocked by.

I also see nothing respectful in the bit about "those who want to give gifts"

They know perfectly well that most guests will want to give something - or at least feel obliged to - so really it's just a bit of flannel attempting to sweeten the uglier part of the message

Notably, even those who find this acceptable have suggested no reason why giving 9 months before might be a good idea, so sadly we just seem to be left with that ugliness I mentioned

Typo

Crass.
But, money rules absolutely everything.
Send a fiver and don't attend.
😂

Give over, they're never putting it behind the bar 🤣

It's hardly paying for their wedding. How much does a couple spend on a gift or cash nowadays? Depending on the number of guests is likely only a grand or two.

We had 90 guests, 80 adults, i'd say on average £100 per couple was spent (some less, some considerably more). £4,000 is not an insignificant amount of money and that was 10 years ago.

I read something the other day that a couple did this, then cancelled the wedding!!!! I would not be comfortable giving money upfront. That's not how weddings work.

Send a cheque dated 2025....

Also unbelievably entitled to put "we ask that you don't bring gifts on the day"
Its pushy - they know full well most people feel its socially required to gift something and by asking you not to bring a physical gift they are pushing for cash.

I would 100% buy them a physical gift. I'd drop it round just before or just after the wedding so as not to take it on the day. Gifts are things you graciously receive not things you choose/demand.