Wedding invitation asking for cash gifts in advance

@FishPhoods
I've been to about 5 Spanish weddings and I'll be at my 6th later this year. It's the done thing in Spain, it's expected. They send out bank details on the invites.

Being British I was a bit taken aback at first, but actually think it's a good way to do it. You do contribute to the day in the end, but there's usually endless amounts of food and a free bar all day and night. Quite a nice way to celebrate with friends and beats buying a set of dishes or cutlery.

I understand everyone can afford varying amounts, so you can give varying amounts. Weddings are never cheap, whether you get a gift or not.

I think that's cheeky - especially putting the date in! Normally you'd go to the wedding with the cash in a card? Not hand it over several months in front?

I do give cash at weddings and we wanted it for ours too. But we waited for people to approach the mothers about a wedding list and then they said we'd like cash. After people had already asked - not actively seeking out donations!

Well thanks for your contribution

I would but I've got more important things to do - like watch paint dry

Exactly this! All these posts saying asking for what you actually want, when it's stated there's no need to give anything anyway is tacky! I disagree. Giving what YOU want, not caring that the RECEIVER actually wants it is tacky.
Honestly in this day and age waste is obnoxious. So what if they're seeing if gifts means they can afford a more fancy wedding?
Seems perfectly sensible. Get gifted £5k? Great country house it is. No gifts? Fine, see you at the registry office and the pub.
What the hell is wrong with that?
100% better than getting into debt and having 42 kettles.

Well why don't you explain 🫠

Are they really good friends, OP?

A good friend wouldn't be so judgmental and outraged, and certainly wouldn't put them on blast on a public forum for having what amounts to a different type of gift list

The only crass thing is peoples judgey response to others weddings- no one is making you go, give a gift or even be their friend. They did say they aren't expecting anything.

Chill out- Let them be happy

If you already have household stuff, presents are wasteful. At our wedding we said we didn't want presents (as we have everything we want, and all our own taste too) - however people didn't listen and we ended up doing a charity shop run the next week with household items that had been gifted - and I did wonder why people chose to completely ignore the fact we had asked specifically for nothing and do what they wanted anyway.

I don't attend such wessimga and if I do I don't give anything but a card. I find that so rude 1, to ask 2, to specifiy what the gift is.

The only acceptable thing I have seen is in a the invite the couple requeated a donation to a selected registered Charity. Brilliant idea.

I been married twice and never stipulated what gifts etc. Whatever someone wants to gift is nice.

Of course it is - I don;t think you get sarcasm

Not sure you get sarcasm 😂 It was tongue in cheek, of course, I wouldn't buy them a toaster 🙄 I would happily give them some money on the wedding day in a card (although I really hate money gifts) but I wouldn;t be sending it several months before the event, asking in that way IS tacky

This is a 'Go Fund Me' in all but name.
'Go Fund My Wedding' ....
but what happens if the wedding doesn't take place?
I thought many Go Fund Me appeals have conditions in place that the some or all of the money will be returned if the operation/court case etc doesn't in fact happen....

That's not relevant to the 'I'd buy them a toaster' point, though is it?

I can just about tolerate people asking for money towards their honeymoon, but asking for a contribution towards the actual wedding (in advance) is tacky AF

It’s unusual but I wouldn’t mind at all and actually a wedding that was connected to the wedding makes a lot of sense in my mind.

Read the thread. They want the cash 9 months before the wedding. That's dreadful. Making guests pay for your wedding 9 months in advance

So you'd get them something they dont want or need to make a point? Why? That's incredibly wasteful. They're clear in their message that you don't need to give anything.

I hate this - it's incredibly tacky and if you cannot afford the venue and items you have chosen then choose something else! I'd get them a toaster ;-)

They don't want a present they want guests to pay for their place.

Why don't people read the original post ... ... It's not about giving money as a gift, it's the fact that it is being requested nearly A YEAR BEFORE THE WEDDING WITH A DEADLINE OF WHEN THEY WANT THE MONEY !!!!!

Do people really find not that very odd and greedy?

I agree with this 💯 %.
If giving cash anyway makes no difference really.

I think it's just pragmatic.
Particularly now that couples are often older when getting married, and moved in already, or combining two households, the traditional 'buy them tons of random crap for the house' thing is just a total waste for everybody.

I hate the whole traditional wedding list. No less transactional!

When we got married - we sent a ‘thing’ that said we didn’t want gifts but if people wanted to give anything we would donate to a couple of charities (Guide Dogs and a homeless one) worked for us

If it’s next summer they’re presumably asking for money a good 9 months before the wedding itself!?! Madness!

Need to know their response to this!

I think it’s awful!

This reminds me of a story online ( America )

The bride raised money for her wedding - cancelled wedding.. went on honeymoon with money raised for the wedding . Planned to have the wedding in the future .. when they would re open funding . Then got shocked when people demanded money back … now I know this was online so no idea if it has that cf about it