No one likes me

I'm coming to the end of my kids' school days but in the beginning I could have written what you wrote word for word. I still look back and wonder why and, stupidly, it still hurts.

As my DC grew older I developed the skill of seeming as though I didn't care, keeping at a distance from other mums and enjoying seeing my kids happy.

I get it though OP. As a mum you do not expect to be brought back down to playground level, mean girl"friendship" issues. I certainly had left my own school days behind me but being in those situations took me back. For some they never grow out of that mentality; I think those that have wanted to move away from it can struggle with the realisation that nothing changes.

My heart goes out to you. It does get easier but somehow my shell has got thicker even though it still hurts. Enjoy your lovely little one and hold your head high, no one should make you second guess yourself school mum life can be shit.

Oh, and, nest of vipers and all that- there are some truly warm people on this site who can lift you when you need it 😊

OP, not being able to click with this group is not your fault. they are simply not your tribe and you simply hav bad luck that these are the other mums at your kid's school.

If you read through this forum you'll find so many threads of women who have the exact same problem with other school mums. It's not just you who is experiencing this.

School mum dynamics can be horrible. Horrible!

I'm no counsellor but I wouldn't actively try and avoid them, but try and change your response to them if you see what I mean? Sometimes it's just pure laziness and if people have their friends, they just can't be bothered to go to the effort of including new people. It's not personal - though it certainly feels it from the receiving end!

There will probably be some people you'll get on with there, but it might take a bit of time. The other thing with primary is that it can be quite fluid and nothing stays the same.

Another bit of advice I read once is "no-one is worrying about you; they are too busy worrying about themselves". I think there's truth in this too if you're feeling self conscious.

I feel similar OP. My child is y4 and we have sports day coming up and most parents will be in their friend groups setting up camp with their travel chairs and picnic blankets/hampers etc and I have no one. Last year we had a picnic blanket and after the sports DC arrived with several friends in tow who sat with us for lunch. I really felt like Billy-no-mates as the only adult with a group of kids around me, whereas everyone else were adult friend groups with their DC. I left as soon as I could. I even left the PTA after a year as they made me feel so unwelcome. I’m friendly, chat to quite a few parents, not a cow or get involved in playground politics etc.

People on MN like to tell you that they drop and run at school, are not interested in making friends etc, but actually I think they are a minority and most parents are fairly sociable and have a couple of friends at least through the school. I can only suggest put on a smile, be friendly, and if that doesn’t help concentrate on making friends in other places.

This is a horrible feeling, and for what it's worth, school playgrounds can be some of the cliquiest places to exist! People stick to their little groups. Does your child have friends and do you have anything in common with any of their friends' parents? If your child is still lower primary, could you invite a parent to have a cup of tea at the end of a play?

Other than that, if you have any time after work and kids, is there a hobby you could take up where you might meet people? There at least you know you have something in common with them.

I think feelings of being disliked can often be irrational. I don't know if telling yourself this helps?