To ask if its fair that inclusivity has excluded my DC from their hobby?

The club is at fault here for dismissing your son’s experience and failing to meet the ND child’s needs. It’s much easier to point the finger at your son and ignore any havoc during sessions, much harder to acknowledge your sons experience and monitor the free play time.

Haven’t RTFT so I apologise if I’m just repeating. This is ridiculous for the club to use ‘inclusivity’ as an excuse in this way.

If the activities aren’t something the child can/wants to engage with, no amount of ‘inclusion’ will help. If they do want to be there, inclusivity surely means providing the resources required to actually *be included, which by the sound of it means 1to1 support.

Learning to be patient and kind with people who are ND is obviously important, but it’s not your child’s job to act as staff.

@Twototwo15 Yes, I think the children need more guidance.

Why can’t your NT son occasionally get to go first at anything? It sounds as if you accommodate all of your ND child’s wants and needs above your NT son but expect another person’s ND child to fit in perfectly.
Also, do the group activities have to be done with each person doing an individual bit or could all bits be done by any of the group, which would mean if the ND child didn’t want to, or couldn’t do his bit, someone else could?

Well if the esteemed Rishi or Nigel get their way, we'll be out of the ECHR and that means we we can scrap the Equalities Act, and people can then ban those pesky noisy disabled people from public life.
Thankfully, this looks very unlikely.

@Sniffle555 It sounds as if the other children are under the impression that these activities have to be completed as a group, and that the rest of them can’t complete them if one child refuses to participate.

It may be as simple as explaining to the children that if X decides not to join in the scavenger hunt, don’t worry about it, you’re still allowed to do it.

I think that it depends upon whether you have to pay a reasonable amount for your DS hobby or whether it is a charity, run by volunteers. If this is Scouts, then i actually think that you are being very unreasonable. I volunteer at brownies and the commitment is enormous. There is so much planning, so much red tape, forms after forms and risk assessments. It is like a full time job being a guiding or scouting volunteer. So, if my hunch is right, you are highly unreasonable to expect there to be additional volunteers there to assist this child, unless of course you are happy to volunteer to provide that assistance yourself and assuming that the ND child would benefit from the additional help, rather than being able to benefit from a degree of independence.

If you are paying a lot of money (not just subs), then i would take your money elsewhere.

People got crazy butt hurt about an imaginary Knit and Natter group 😟

I hope your DS finds an alternative hobby, OP.

Says who? One child.He’s doing it at his level.

@Sniffle555 With support, the child does participate in group activities, though. Without support, the activity falls apart. What are the other 13-year-olds supposed to do? Genuine question, I’m not sure.

Being included isn't being "prioritised". Adjustments aren't favourtism

But there aren't any adjustments, that's the whole point. The ND child is being expected to manage at the same level as the NT children, and he can't do it. That's the problem

Other posters have made very valid points about conflicting needs. One person’s need for quiet conflicting with another’s need to stim, for example. It absolutely can be challenging to accommodate both.

I’ve done hoards of scavenger hunts. Plenty of kids with or without SEN or NT go off the route. They’re kids not robots.

No, that isn’t the point of inclusivity at all. It isn’t to make disabled people behave as though they weren’t disabled as far as possible!

The point in inclusivity is to enable everyone to participate in the way that suits them.

I’m sure you don’t mean it to be, but this really is quite an ableist perspective.

@Sniffle555 Yes, the child is capable of participating in activities with appropriate support. The OP gave the example of the scavenger hunt:
They will refuse to continue the route until staff are called.

The child needs support and they’re not getting it. If the other 13-year-olds are expected to provide the appropriate support, they need to be shown how to do this, they’re children, they don’t know what to do when X refuses to participate. If they try and it doesn’t work, the adults need to step in.

“Complete disruption”- we only have a 13 year old who doesn’t like losing saying that. You’re not even there.

I didn’t get that from the OP at all. It didn’t sound to me as though the other child was being ‘extremely disruptive’

The problem is clubs will declare they are inclusive . And assume that means disabled people can attend without ensuring they make reasonable adjustments to support.

So the nd child would potentially benefit from additional support. If they are struggling taking a sensory break or having help completing tasks. Opportunity to not complete tasks without it impacting on others. If the club can not support this child they should not be declaring themselves inclusive.

Saying that this is a great opportunity to teach h your child compassion and about making reasonable adjustments

It sounds as thought the situation is not being managed well. I think where possible accommodation and reasonable adjustment should be considered. Equally, I think it important to recognise disabilities do exclude people from fully participating. As someone who has disability and requires reasonable adjustments, I am fully aware there are somethings I just cannot do. Pretending otherwise, it not helpful, if any it minimises my difficulties or makes me feel invisible.

Maybe the organisers don't give a shit?

They chuck the kids out of the door to have 'unsupervised time' and then get to sit around huffing glue for an hour.

Who says this child isn’t capable? 1 child. The organisers disagree.

Possibly his siblings know quite a lot about it too given they can’t take a break from their own difficulties and a likely to spend more time with other disabled people. I agree he needs support. It’s fairly straightforward, he can’t cope with the disabled child and needs support if he’s to manage the club.