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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To let Sen ds miss sports day

31 replies

EsmeeMerlin · 26/06/2024 07:28

Hi I have a 6 year old son who is autistic and has global development delay. He is currently in mainstream school with a 1-1 but we are in the process of trying to get him in a autism base unit because he is not making any progress in mainstream and it's not the right setting for him. The last couple of weeks we have had an increase in incidents where he has become frustrated and overwhelmed. He finds the weather too much, there is a lot going on at school this time of year and he is aware things will soon be changing.

Sports day is next Tuesday and neither myself or his dad can attend due to work. It's two year bands with 5 classes in each year band, on a field for 2 hours with parents and a pe teacher with a microphone who likes to use sports day as an audition for a presenting job.

The school's plan is to see how ds will go and if necessary his 1-1 will take him off on his own. Ds is still likely to be disregulated from the change in routine and the other children's excitement.

So my aibu-would I be unreasonable for ds to have the day off school and spend the day with his auntie instead. My sister has offered to have him for the day and he will get a one on one day bonding with his aunt. She has plans to take him to the park or a little soft play near her that will be nice and quiet for him.

I work in a school myself so I am well aware of the whole attendance matters speech but I just can't bear ds having another day struggling in school from the sake of a sports day!

OP posts:
EsmeeMerlin · 26/06/2024 07:37

Universalsnail · 26/06/2024 07:32

Not unreasonable. I would let any of my children ND or NT miss sports day if they didn't want to do it.

Does he want to do sports day though? That would be the deciding factor for me.

No he is adamant he wants no part in sports day. He does not engage in the pe lessons either.

OP posts:
Koolsgang · 26/06/2024 07:36

I wish we’d kept autistic DD off sports day when she was still in mainstream as it was an utter disaster & the school didn’t make any adjustments. She was so dysregulated, shouting & screaming & that was with me there! I wouldn’t hesitate to keep him off.

Universalsnail · 26/06/2024 07:32

Not unreasonable. I would let any of my children ND or NT miss sports day if they didn't want to do it.

Does he want to do sports day though? That would be the deciding factor for me.

SummerSnowstorm · 26/06/2024 07:32

Definitely keep him off. It's likely that a bad day during sports day would lead to more dysregulation the following few days as an impact from getting so distressed too. There's no benefit to him whereas having some bonding time with his aunt is a positive.

RonObvious · 26/06/2024 07:30

My SEN son hasn't been to sports day in a couple of years (he's now 10). It's tough enough to get him to go to school as it is, so am not worried about him missing out on throwing bean bags across a field.

Keeva2017 · 26/06/2024 07:30

YANBU - it’s just sports day, my children love it but if they didn’t, I’d do the same. Hope he has a nice day with his auntie.