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AIBU?

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To think this was really rude & insensitive

35 replies

Bereavedupset · 25/06/2024 22:58

My mother has just passed away.

Once everyone who needed to know had been informed, I posted a photo of her on Facebook. My mother was very elderly and had been a very pretty lady when she was younger. The photo I posted was taken about a year ago on one of the last outings I had with her before she became housebound. Admittedly she had looked better but I liked the photo as it was taken in a beautiful place and had special memories. After posting it my sister said she thought I could've posted a nicer photo. I didn't disagree and I asked if I should change it and she told me not to worry.

Today I was at my sister's and her close friend Julie popped round. She said she thought the photo I had posted was so awful, she'd felt unable to like & comment on it, and she'd also felt compelled to text Tracey ,(another close friend of DSIS) to express her feelings. I got the impression (maybe wrongly) that Tracey agreed with her. I felt so bad I changed the photo for a more flattering one despite feeling quite cross at Julie for being so direct, but also through embarrassment as, in retrospect, the photo didn't do my mum justice.

Later that day, Tracey popped in to see my sister while I was still there & the subject of the photo came up. I said I knew she didn't like it as Julie had already said. She looked shocked and said I should ignore Julie & do what I wanted.

I know I'm probably being over sensitive but was Julie being really rude & inappropriate?

OP posts:
Jeannie88 · 25/06/2024 23:28

Deepest condolences and you can post whatever you want to and anyone who is so insensitive as to question it can eff off! It's YOUR memory, special to you. Honestly, I can't believe some people, please ignore them with the contempt they deserve. Xx

EmeraldRoulette · 25/06/2024 23:23

I think you showed great restraint in not giving Julie a slap.

I actually cannot find words for what an astonishingly unpleasant person she must be.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Sconeswithnutella · 25/06/2024 23:19

I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with shallow arseholes. Who the hell thinks like that?! Focus on your memories, ignore horrible people. I’m sure the focus on the day you took the pic wasn’t on how social media ready her face was!

WaltzingWaters · 25/06/2024 23:17

Julie sounds awful. Ignore Julie.

I’m so sorry for your loss OP.

Notsuredontknow · 25/06/2024 23:16

You are not being at all unreasonable, it was completely unreasonable of anyone other than your sister to comment on the photo like that. I can’t imagine being so insensitive! I would be upset too OP but I hope you can keep in mind that they are particularly insensitive and unkind and I’m sure the vast majority of people who saw it did not think like them. I’m very sorry for your loss.

AtrociousCircumstance · 25/06/2024 23:13

Julie’s a malicious waste of time. If I were you I wouldn’t have anything more to do with her.

Sorry for your loss 💐

Neodymium · 25/06/2024 23:12

Julie sounds like a bitch. What kind of friend has a go at someone over a fb photo.

Marmalady75 · 25/06/2024 23:12

Julie is a rude loud mouth who should learn to keep her opinions to herself, especially about people’s appearance.

Blueeyedmale · 25/06/2024 23:11

It does sound quite nasty and insensitive, you did nothing wrong I'm really sorry for your loss op.

Knitgoodwoman · 25/06/2024 23:07

I’m sorry about your mum Op, you did nothing wrong. These people need something to focus on in their lives, they all sound bored to care this much about one photo posted on social media. Ignore.

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