Husband sulks

My dh did this a lot. Every perceived criticism would see him sulking or acting aggressively as a defense.

we’ve been married 24 years, kids are 18 and 20. This is relevant because he really improved (hence still being together) when we got past the stressful child and teen-rearing stages.

he now apologises. Not immediately but he does. He never sulks any more, if he’s angry he can articulate why, which diffuses it. He had the most appalling relationship with his father and his mother left him and his dad when he was a young child, so in my opinion he had to learn that it’s ok to be angry, and that it doesn’t mean you’ll be hit, or abandoned.

if you can be bothered to wait, or to work at it, because there’s no reason why you should have to (I chose to stay because I he was, ultimately, a good father) I’d recommend a really good talk about mutual respect (when you’re both calm etc) patience, love, (again, only if he’s worth it) and sympathy. Sulking is an attempt to control - it’s sad he hasn’t a healthier way to show he’s pissed off.

I wish it hadn’t taken my dh almost 50 years to learn that it’s legitimate to be angry and to express it without sulking, but it did. I’m glad we (I) stuck at it though because our relationship is worth it and we really connect in almost every other way.
good luck.

Sulking is generally not OK but I'd be upset to be told to shut up. Something along the lines of 'come on guys, let's tone it down before someone gets upset' but shut up sounds harsh and disrespectful. I probably wouldn't want to speak to someone who thought it was appropriate to talk to me in that way...however appreciate its all in the tone and different relationships have different levels of acceptable 'banter'

Believe in yourself. You've done nothing wrong. As you've discovered silence is a powerful weapon.
Strike back with totally ignoring him. After a month start divorce proceedings

You’re quite possibly right. So stop trying to make things better.

You could say ‘right, you’ve had your ten minutes of sulking. So either sort yourself out and pull yourself together or fuck off to your mum’s house until you’re ready to behave like a grown up again, cause I’ve already got one toddler to look after’.

Or you could tell him that he is an inch away from losing his family and you’re considering separation, as you can’t carry on living like this.

Sulking behaviour is ridiculous on all levels. How did you tell them to shut up? Like ‘oh, shut up, the pair of you’ lighthearted? Or was it more aggressive/hard? I don’t think telling people to shut up is ok – do you do it a lot? Does he feel like you’re trying to control his conversations or undermine him? Why did they have to shut up?

"Oh are you sulking again?" Then laugh and ignore him.

Trick is not to let him know it gets to you since that's why he's doing it.

Ignore bad behaviour, reward good. Basic parenting. Your husband is behaving like a child.

It might be his personality, but he knows you don’t like it and he still continues to do it? That’s not cool.

My ex knew that the silent treatment made me incredibly anxious and upset - he did it deliberately to upset me, especially when I didn’t even know what I’d done wrong so I was left wondering and concerned.

It’s really not ok - don’t let him treat you this way.

Sit him down when you’re not going to be interrupted by kids. Ask him if there’s anything going on that’s making him unhappy, or is he wanting to make any changes to his life that he needs to discuss with you, because you’ve noticed his reactions to things are a little more intense than they normally are. Has something triggered this? If he says yes, then you’ve got your answer and you can go from there. If he says no, then tell him you’re not prepared to walk on eggshells for the next 40 years and he has to sort himself out because the sulking has to stop.

Divorce him?

Sounds like a pretty regular thing. Silent treatment is abusive behaviour.

Can you talk to him when things are calm, bring this up, talk about why he does it? He's supposed to be the adult here.

Good luck.