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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this nurse shouldn't have laughed / scoffed at me for asking for a room?

306 replies

supertrainers · 25/06/2024 18:20

Last night at 3 am I had to take my DD to a and e as she was struggling with her breathing.

Unfortunately this coincided with me having been up all night already vomiting. Second night in a row. It's not a stomach bug, before anyone says I shouldn't have taken my child to the hospital.

I was feeling absolutely rotten. Two nights of no sleep, worry for my DD. Pain, nausea. Everything.

I'm familiar with the hospital as I have found myself many times in there with one of my children in the middle of the night.

Most of the time, we get offered a room, once we've been triaged. Not always, but more often than not. The room has a bed in it and we just stay in there and the doctors come in and out.

I said to the triage nurse last night that I was also feeling extremely unwell and are there any rooms we could possibly wait in. I said I'm sorry for asking and I wouldn't ask unless I really needed to.

She did a scoff / laugh at me for even asking. 9 times out of 10 we have a room and you scoff at me ? I was taken aback by it and in my horrible state for her to just laugh / scoff at me was super rude. I told her, I understand but I really don't appreciate you laughing at me for even asking. I'm really unwell and I wouldn't ask you. It's not very nice that you laughed.

She denied laughing at me. I left it at that and went and sat on the plastic chairs for 6 hours.

OP posts:
Toptotoe · 25/06/2024 22:39

supertrainers · 25/06/2024 18:32

It happens 9 out of 10 times I go there. I hardly ever wait in the waiting room. So it's not laughable at that a an e, I'm afraid.

That’s a lot of times to be going to A&E . . . .

sprigatito · 25/06/2024 22:33

@Soontobe60 if you are in sole charge of a dangerously ill child, you have no choice but to take them to A&E, vomiting or not. Not everyone has others to call on in a crisis.

ReallyNotTheBestDayEver · 25/06/2024 22:23

Needmorelego · 25/06/2024 21:55

@Hankunamatata as I've said - some A+Es do have private rooms and yes you can ask for one.
There would be no reason for any "amusement" with the question (especially as the OP is a regular there and knows the department).

Well yes, nothing stopping you asking for one in theory I guess...but don't you think they hadn't offered one for a reason?! Such as wanting to keep them free for people who really need one...

SloaneStreetVandal · 25/06/2024 22:20

There's not much that gets me angry, however the state of the NHS really does. We pay through the nose in tax in this country, yet our health service is that of a developing country. And we're all brainwashed into worshipping at the altar of the NHS, and obliged to the default position of defending piss poor attitudes and treatment.

It's becoming more and more difficult to pretend that the (mandatorily excusable, regardless of circumstance) attitude/belligerent culture amongst staff isn't significantly contributing to the crisis.

I hope you are both feeling better @supertrainers.

Soontobe60 · 25/06/2024 22:04

sunshinestar1986 · 25/06/2024 21:04

I was given a room straight away without asking op.
Definitely not unreasonable of you to ask, some staff are just vile and nasty.

Even though she was asking for herself - an adult in a children’s dept? Absolutely not reasonable.

Differentstarts · 25/06/2024 21:57

friedalmond · 25/06/2024 21:50

Good lord people are really putting up with this in the uk? You’ve all been beaten down so much that you think it’s okay to sit, unwell on a plastic chair for 6 hours, because there are other unwell people? You should have higher standards for yourselves and for each other. I live in France and it’s not perfect here either, but people wouldn’t put up with that here. I’m afraid to come back!

6 hrs would be a dream iv been in their 36 hrs before while waiting for a bed

Needmorelego · 25/06/2024 21:55

@Hankunamatata as I've said - some A+Es do have private rooms and yes you can ask for one.
There would be no reason for any "amusement" with the question (especially as the OP is a regular there and knows the department).

Soontobe60 · 25/06/2024 21:54

Runnerinthenight · 25/06/2024 20:03

Didn't you read the OP?

"Unfortunately this coincided with me having been up all night already vomiting. Second night in a row. It's not a stomach bug, before anyone says I shouldn't have taken my child to the hospital".

Regardless, no one should be taking someone else to A+E if they are vomiting - whatever the cause.

Livelaughlurgy · 25/06/2024 21:53

By virtue of the fact you get a room 9/10 times the fact you couldn't last night probably tells you the kind of night they were having. I'd let it go.

friedalmond · 25/06/2024 21:50

Good lord people are really putting up with this in the uk? You’ve all been beaten down so much that you think it’s okay to sit, unwell on a plastic chair for 6 hours, because there are other unwell people? You should have higher standards for yourselves and for each other. I live in France and it’s not perfect here either, but people wouldn’t put up with that here. I’m afraid to come back!

MumChp · 25/06/2024 21:45

Runnerinthenight · 25/06/2024 21:44

Seeing as you know so much about everything maybe you could share potential reasons for a woman to be vomiting but know that she's not infectious?

Knock yourself out... seems like you know all the answers anyway.

Runnerinthenight · 25/06/2024 21:44

MumChp · 25/06/2024 21:42

Oh well oh dear.

Seeing as you know so much about everything maybe you could share potential reasons for a woman to be vomiting but know that she's not infectious?

MumChp · 25/06/2024 21:44

Differentstarts · 25/06/2024 21:43

Have you ever been in a A&E waiting room there's usually multiple people vomiting all for different reasons. This isn't unusual

Yes I have worked in one. Patients? Fine. Others? No.

Hankunamatata · 25/06/2024 21:43

I guess she was amused by the fact you thought you could request a private room like it was a hotel

Ger1atricMillennial · 25/06/2024 21:43

TightsOrSocks · 25/06/2024 21:34

People need to have higher expectations

As a clinician, we cannot laugh at patients. It’s rude, whatever the provocation.

It is none of anyone’s business why she has to attend so often. Some conditions result in multiple attendances.

She has said she was vomiting but not infectious. Can’t people read? It could have been migraines for example.

This is ridiculous.

Differentstarts · 25/06/2024 21:43

MumChp · 25/06/2024 21:40

Anyway womit is not a great idea in an A/E. How can you tell it isn't infectious? In no time every patient can be down.

Have you ever been in a A&E waiting room there's usually multiple people vomiting all for different reasons. This isn't unusual

MumChp · 25/06/2024 21:42

Runnerinthenight · 25/06/2024 21:41

She might be pregnant?

Oh well oh dear.

Ger1atricMillennial · 25/06/2024 21:42

She wasn't rude. Out of everything that you are going through this is not the thing to be concerned about.

Move on.

Runnerinthenight · 25/06/2024 21:41

AD1509 · 25/06/2024 21:39

Have you considered AIBU is not the place for you if you are coming here with a clear definitive opinion of your actions and are solely hoping for self validation from the general masses?

I'm pretty sure she is now!!

Runnerinthenight · 25/06/2024 21:41

MumChp · 25/06/2024 21:40

Anyway womit is not a great idea in an A/E. How can you tell it isn't infectious? In no time every patient can be down.

She might be pregnant?

MumChp · 25/06/2024 21:40

TightsOrSocks · 25/06/2024 21:34

People need to have higher expectations

As a clinician, we cannot laugh at patients. It’s rude, whatever the provocation.

It is none of anyone’s business why she has to attend so often. Some conditions result in multiple attendances.

She has said she was vomiting but not infectious. Can’t people read? It could have been migraines for example.

Anyway womit is not a great idea in an A/E. How can you tell it isn't infectious? In no time every patient can be down.

AD1509 · 25/06/2024 21:39

Have you considered AIBU is not the place for you if you are coming here with a clear definitive opinion of your actions and are solely hoping for self validation from the general masses?

TightsOrSocks · 25/06/2024 21:34

People need to have higher expectations

As a clinician, we cannot laugh at patients. It’s rude, whatever the provocation.

It is none of anyone’s business why she has to attend so often. Some conditions result in multiple attendances.

She has said she was vomiting but not infectious. Can’t people read? It could have been migraines for example.

Differentstarts · 25/06/2024 21:34

MumChp · 25/06/2024 21:32

Violence towards NHS staff is real.

Who said it wasn't

MumChp · 25/06/2024 21:32

Differentstarts · 25/06/2024 21:30

Rare are you sure about that. Bullying within the nhs is rife. Iv never seen adults in a workplace act so badly as they do within the nhs.

Violence towards NHS staff is real.

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