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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this nurse shouldn't have laughed / scoffed at me for asking for a room?

306 replies

supertrainers · 25/06/2024 18:20

Last night at 3 am I had to take my DD to a and e as she was struggling with her breathing.

Unfortunately this coincided with me having been up all night already vomiting. Second night in a row. It's not a stomach bug, before anyone says I shouldn't have taken my child to the hospital.

I was feeling absolutely rotten. Two nights of no sleep, worry for my DD. Pain, nausea. Everything.

I'm familiar with the hospital as I have found myself many times in there with one of my children in the middle of the night.

Most of the time, we get offered a room, once we've been triaged. Not always, but more often than not. The room has a bed in it and we just stay in there and the doctors come in and out.

I said to the triage nurse last night that I was also feeling extremely unwell and are there any rooms we could possibly wait in. I said I'm sorry for asking and I wouldn't ask unless I really needed to.

She did a scoff / laugh at me for even asking. 9 times out of 10 we have a room and you scoff at me ? I was taken aback by it and in my horrible state for her to just laugh / scoff at me was super rude. I told her, I understand but I really don't appreciate you laughing at me for even asking. I'm really unwell and I wouldn't ask you. It's not very nice that you laughed.

She denied laughing at me. I left it at that and went and sat on the plastic chairs for 6 hours.

OP posts:
freakinthespreadsheets · 25/06/2024 18:45

I would've laughed too - not at you directly but privately at the irony of you wanting a room to wait in because you were unwell, in an A&E department where that's the point of everyone being there 🤣 it was rude to scoff in your face, but I'd have probably given you a wry smile and asked you to think it through, realising you're probably sleep deprived and not thinking straight.
Best wishes for recovery for you both OP.

lemonmeringueno3 · 25/06/2024 18:44

Surely the snort was more aimed at the state of the NHS.

I think I'd snort if a parent asked me if their child could have their own glue stick at school but it wouldn't be aimed at them.

Maybe illness and worry made you a bit sensitive.

supertrainers · 25/06/2024 18:42

TomatoSandwiches · 25/06/2024 18:40

YANBU op, she was really rude and unprofessional to laugh at you, you can always make a complaint to PALS.

No I definitely wouldn't put a complaint in for that.

I did let her know it wasn't nice, without being aggressive. She knows it wasn't nice in that moment.

I'm always very very nice to this lady. Well to all of them. But she knows me, I've seen her a number of times and recognise her.

OP posts:
GillySoose · 25/06/2024 18:42

MumChp · 25/06/2024 18:33

She is sick and tired of not having rooms to sort patients in. Or doctors to see patients. You might be number 15 to ask for it. Or ask for things simply not provided by NHS 2024.
Yes she could be more professionel but even nurses are human at 3 am.

It was probably this. She wasn't laughing at you exactly.

Choochoo21 · 25/06/2024 18:40

I think it depends if she scoffed at you or scoffed at the situation.

Someone asked me yesterday if my workplace was going ok and I scoffed/laughed because it’s a shit show at the minute.
I wasn’t scoffing/laughing at the person.

I think you possibly took it more personal than she meant it but it would have been more professional to just say “no sorry”.

TomatoSandwiches · 25/06/2024 18:40

YANBU op, she was really rude and unprofessional to laugh at you, you can always make a complaint to PALS.

ReallyNotTheBestDayEver · 25/06/2024 18:39

Rooms are for the contagious, or the sickest, unless they're 'quiet'. You say you were not contagious yourself, so it would have been for your own comfort.

Cerealkiller4U · 25/06/2024 18:39

At my hospital we had a huge percentage of staff off with mental and physical health issues from being pushed right now to the absolute max.

life is life. She scoffed but my god try working in a hospital right now

Cerealkiller4U · 25/06/2024 18:38

TwattyMcFuckFace · 25/06/2024 18:37

Ok but why are you still thinking about it now?

Someone scoffed, she might have also inwardly rolled her eyes.

But it's done now, I wouldn't give it all this head space.

I'm sure she isn't.

I mean this

does it really matter?

iamtheblcksheep · 25/06/2024 18:38

I don’t know where you all live. I’ve found myself in A&E 3 times in the last year. Twice I’ve been in an and out in90 minutes. The third time 3 hours when it was something a little more complicated for DP.

Not all A&Es are bad. She shouldn’t have laughed at you OP. She was bloody rude.

AnnaMagnani · 25/06/2024 18:37

Did she actually laugh at you, or just roll her eyes and make a jokey comment about rooms being rarer than hen's teeth?

Because probably the nurse was stressed, miserable, had absolutely no rooms to put critically ill patients in.

Which is the sad reality of A+E currently.

supertrainers · 25/06/2024 18:37

Veritysays897 · 25/06/2024 18:36

It doesn’t sound very professional of her op, but I imagine she might have been under a lot of stress.

I’m sorry that you had such a grim night. How are you both feeling?

Thanks. My DD is much better, which is the most important thing. I'm better too. Just very tired.

OP posts:
Cerealkiller4U · 25/06/2024 18:37

She was probably laughing at the current climate of the NHs. Which as you much know going we often as you do how dreadfully appallingly it is right now

she didn’t have a room so you had to wait in the waiting room

welcome to what the rest of us normally have to deal with. You only get a room in my hospital if you’re contagious.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 25/06/2024 18:37

supertrainers · 25/06/2024 18:35

I've seen her there many times.

I have to go there quite a bit unfortunately (cue everyone saying I'm an a and e time waster and that's why she reacted that way ).

So I have stuff to base it on. It wasn't ridiculous to ask at all. I've barely ever had to sit in the waiting room the entire time.

Ok but why are you still thinking about it now?

Someone scoffed, she might have also inwardly rolled her eyes.

But it's done now, I wouldn't give it all this head space.

I'm sure she isn't.

DaughterNo2 · 25/06/2024 18:36

supertrainers · 25/06/2024 18:32

It happens 9 out of 10 times I go there. I hardly ever wait in the waiting room. So it's not laughable at that a an e, I'm afraid.

How often do you attend A&E? Is there an underlying problem with you or your children?

Veritysays897 · 25/06/2024 18:36

It doesn’t sound very professional of her op, but I imagine she might have been under a lot of stress.

I’m sorry that you had such a grim night. How are you both feeling?

JaneTheVirgin · 25/06/2024 18:36

I don't read it as her laughing AT you, more 'laughing' at the idea they had empty rooms - in a 'state of the NHS' kind of way. I imagine if they did have an empty room they'd put a sick child with breathing problems in it? I wouldn't expect a sick parent to take priority though.

supertrainers · 25/06/2024 18:35

TwattyMcFuckFace · 25/06/2024 18:32

I thought only soap characters got their own hospital rooms.

You said she laughed/scoffed, she said she didn't.

But if she did, or was just unable to hold back her natural response, then YANBU I suppose.

Perhaps she doesn't often work at that hospital so couldn't have known about the constant room availability?

I've seen her there many times.

I have to go there quite a bit unfortunately (cue everyone saying I'm an a and e time waster and that's why she reacted that way ).

So I have stuff to base it on. It wasn't ridiculous to ask at all. I've barely ever had to sit in the waiting room the entire time.

OP posts:
Greengrapeofhome · 25/06/2024 18:34

Did you end up getting a room on the ward?

ExtraOnions · 25/06/2024 18:33

Were you discharged after 6 hours? Was all ok ?

MumChp · 25/06/2024 18:33

She is sick and tired of not having rooms to sort patients in. Or doctors to see patients. You might be number 15 to ask for it. Or ask for things simply not provided by NHS 2024.
Yes she could be more professionel but even nurses are human at 3 am.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 25/06/2024 18:32

I thought only soap characters got their own hospital rooms.

You said she laughed/scoffed, she said she didn't.

But if she did, or was just unable to hold back her natural response, then YANBU I suppose.

Perhaps she doesn't often work at that hospital so couldn't have known about the constant room availability?

supertrainers · 25/06/2024 18:32

Spacecowboys · 25/06/2024 18:31

Did she laugh/ scoff at you or was her reaction more to do with the current demands on the nhs. The idea that there is ever just an empty room to put someone in as soon as they have been triaged is ( unfortunately) laughable.

It happens 9 out of 10 times I go there. I hardly ever wait in the waiting room. So it's not laughable at that a an e, I'm afraid.

OP posts:
Spacecowboys · 25/06/2024 18:31

Did she laugh/ scoff at you or was her reaction more to do with the current demands on the nhs. The idea that there is ever just an empty room to put someone in as soon as they have been triaged is ( unfortunately) laughable.

notnowmarmaduke · 25/06/2024 18:31

6 hours is less than half the wait I had last time I was in A and E.

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