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Original poster

Is this acceptable for a teacher to say..

87 replies

Countrygirlxo · 25/06/2024 17:33

My son is in year 7. So my child has sports day outside today in the sweltering heat. Drinking lots of water he asked if he could go to the toilet, the teacher who he hasn't spoke to or seen before said no he can wait, he didn't complain he waited until there were a few of them that needed to go and the teacher gave my son a 'key', a kind of card to access the door for them to go in.
He said "don't lose it or you're a dead man walking." My son wasn't bothered about the way he was spoken to (which he said was grumpy and wasnt said in a joke way) and shrugged it off but mentioned it in conversation, I just think it's an odd thing and unacceptable way to speak to a 12 year old as a teacher.

OP posts:
MargaretThursday · 25/06/2024 22:00

My cousin's year 3 teacher used to to say "I'll pull your arm off and hit you with the soggy bit". They thought he was hilarious.

VickyEadieofThigh · 25/06/2024 21:59

Jeschara · 25/06/2024 18:40

I don't know why, and I can take a joke, made them as well, but there is something about this that I don't like.

Oh well. Try not to dwell on it, eh?

frightenedmum1 · 25/06/2024 21:58

I think you should log it with the police on 101. He was threatening your son, and it would not surprise me if he has previously killed a student who had lost a key.

Jeschara · 25/06/2024 18:40

I don't know why, and I can take a joke, made them as well, but there is something about this that I don't like.

allwewant · 25/06/2024 18:37

@Countrygirlxo joking with teenagers helps to build relationships. I know you can not do this with teenagers with autism though.

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 25/06/2024 18:34

He didn't say it in a jokey way?

Do you think he was literally threatening your child with death?

Original poster
Countrygirlxo · 25/06/2024 18:34

MultiplaLight · 25/06/2024 18:31

It's a JOKE.

Bloody hell.

You're a teacher too. Clearly one without a sense of humour.

I work with special needs so I'm more caring and compassionate than having a joke with them. As I've said, thanks for the comments I've got my answer there's no need to comment telling me what everyone else has already said.

OP posts:
MultiplaLight · 25/06/2024 18:31

It's a JOKE.

Bloody hell.

You're a teacher too. Clearly one without a sense of humour.

fieldsofbutterflies · 25/06/2024 18:25

Countrygirlxo · 25/06/2024 18:07

I'm not saying it was threatening it's just not a nice way of saying it is it?! There are other ways of getting the point across. Dead man walking just sounds awful.

It's fine.

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 25/06/2024 18:13

Oh my word some people take life FAR too seriously these days don't they

Original poster
Countrygirlxo · 25/06/2024 18:12

Thanks everyone

OP posts:
ArseholeCatIsABlackAndWhiteCat · 25/06/2024 18:12

It's a joke. It obviously wasn't mean literally and your son didn't take it like that.

VickyEadieofThigh · 25/06/2024 18:10

Countrygirlxo · 25/06/2024 18:07

I'm not saying it was threatening it's just not a nice way of saying it is it?! There are other ways of getting the point across. Dead man walking just sounds awful.

Oh well. There you go. Try not to get yourself so wound up, eh?

SofiaAmes · 25/06/2024 18:08

Going back to what the teacher said. To me, it seems like it would be dependent on whether the student would have gotten in trouble for saying that to another student. If they would have, then the teacher should be role-modeling better behavior.

Original poster
Countrygirlxo · 25/06/2024 18:07

I'm not saying it was threatening it's just not a nice way of saying it is it?! There are other ways of getting the point across. Dead man walking just sounds awful.

OP posts:
SofiaAmes · 25/06/2024 18:06

The part I don't get is why aren't you upset that your son was not allowed to go to the toilet when he needed to? That would be completely unacceptable working conditions for an adult...why is it ok for a child? It's medically not recommended to restrict bathroom use and if a parent did it, it would be considered abuse. I understand that it's hard to "police" but it's something that should be planned for.

My dd has a bleeding disorder and needed to go to the bathroom (to change her tampon/pad) every hour and I could not believe that I had to go into the school multiple times to speak to teachers about why she was asking to go to the bathroom in the middle of a class (their classes were 1.5 hours and on some days she needed to go every hour). I have no idea why they felt the need to restrict bathroom access to anyone, much less a well behaved, excellent student like my dd.

friendlycat · 25/06/2024 18:05

missmollygreen · 25/06/2024 17:59

Well i presume it was actually meant as a joke.

Or is you complaint that your son was going to be killed if he lost the key?

That's funny 🤣🤣

friendlycat · 25/06/2024 18:04

The more I read on here about people complaining about what teachers say or do, the more incredulous I become.

They really can't win it seems with some parents.

skippy67 · 25/06/2024 18:03

Are you worried the teacher would have actually killed your kid? Are you always this literal?

TinklySnail · 25/06/2024 18:01

It would be inappropriate to say it to a 5 year old but a 12 year old? I honestly think it’s light hearted. A way to get someone to do as they’re told without the authoritative tone.
Your son must get on well at school and the teacher is confident that he will do as he’s told.

missmollygreen · 25/06/2024 17:59

Well i presume it was actually meant as a joke.

Or is you complaint that your son was going to be killed if he lost the key?

Hatty65 · 25/06/2024 17:56

I don't believe you are a teacher, unless you teach Reception children.

It's a perfectly jokey way of conveying to a secondary school age child that they must not lose the key. I have no idea what your problem is.

For those fuming about the toilets being locked - it was Sports Day and the entire school is supposed to be on the field watching. If you DON'T lock the school and make kids come and ask for the key then you have kids hiding all over the school - sitting in vacant classrooms on their phones, chatting, 'pretending' they came in for the toilet, etc.

We generally lock the school buildings so that kids have to come get a teacher's electronic pass to get in. Unless you have medical issues most healthy secondary aged children can manage an afternoon on the school field without needing the loo. It's a couple of hours, usually.

How else would you expect teachers to supervise hundreds of children who are supposed to be watching Sports Day activities?

bridgetreilly · 25/06/2024 17:56

I thought you were about to say the kid was 4. Of course it’s fine to say to a 12yo.

Itiswhysofew · 25/06/2024 17:54

It's just a saying.

Waiting for the loo is not a big deal.

KittensSchmittens · 25/06/2024 17:53

OP must be a primary school teacher. This seems normal to me, surely being spoken to firmly by an authority figure is an important part of growing up at that age. Teenagers pay less attention to their parents and more to their teachers/coaches (if they respect them) and learning boundaries and rules from an authority figure is probably good for him.