Does anyone not just accept anything anymore?

I don't think it's a case of people not accepting anything anymore. I think it's a case of people saying how they feel now. People used to have the same feelings but they just bottled them up.

Tbh I think that’s one of the only scenarios where any and all reactions are acceptable.

Of course I don’t mean that! But if your child’s died you can’t change that. But you can choose how to cope with the aftermath of such a tragedy

You think losing a child is emotionally equivalent to never having grandchildren?

Part of the problem is treating all emotions as equally valid when they are not.

I hope you would show more sensitivity to a bereaved parent than a disappointed would be grandparent.

You wouldn’t say to someone who was grieving because they can’t have children “Stop moaning. You’ve got a job and a home, and nieces and nephews. Be grateful for what you have!” That would be horribly cruel.

Nobody tells you that you’ll get grandbroody. I’d selfishly love to have a grandchild. I never mention it to my kids because they’ve all said they wouldn’t bring children into this world now, with climate change and impending WW3. I understand their reasons, but it still makes me feel sad. I’d pictured my older life to be a certain way and it will never be like that.

I do belong to a Non Mum group on Mumsnet but it is about coping strategies and making the most of childfree life as well as venting. It’s not about competitive suffering at all.

You're so right. I've never really understood the obsession that many people seem to have about having grandchildren. I've no idea whether my daughter will ever have any children and it doesn't bother me either way. If she has children I expect I will love them and want to spend time with them but it won't spoil my life in any way if I don't ever have grandchildren. What I am concerned about is that she has a happy life and has children if she wants them or is happy without them if that's her choice.

Competitive suffering is the best term for it. I tried to join a support group after 3rd miscarriage, it wasn't a support group it as exactly that - Competitive suffering.

Same with the CPTSD groups. Coping methods or healthy ways to combat the effects of trauma were barely mentioned.

People should pass the occassional thought for what might have been or what will never be but wallowing to the extent of grieving is not healthy.

TBH I feel the same way about gender disappointment and grieving for the boy/girl you didn’t have.

So, if your child died tomorrow, you wouldn't be sad about it because hey, life's what you make it and you don't have an entitlement to a living child?

What has some people setting up a Facebook group, to talk to each other about feeling sad about not having grandkids, got to do with being able/unable to offend people?

Nope

I refuse to believe you're grateful for absolutely everything you have OP, and that you never wish you could have certain things.

It's human nature to want some things that we don't/can't have.

The fact that they've joined a group to talk about something that makes them sad doesn't mean they're 'not accepting' it. They're not saying they think they're entitled to have grandchildren, just that not having them makes them feel sad. Of course it won't change anything, but that doesn't mean that talking about it might help them feel better about it.

How is this actually affecting you? It's literally just some people harmlessly looking for a bit of emotional support from people who feel the same way about something as they do. It's not like they're accosting you in the street and shouting about it, is it?

The chances are that these people are using a Facebook group to discuss this precisely because they are fully aware that it might seem ridiculous to people who don't share their feelings, so they're wanting a chat with people who feel the same way and won't judge them.

Maybe set up a support group for people who are upset/irritated about others talking about things?!

The world is becoming a bit ridiculous. You cannot offend anyone. It is identifying as something else that gets me. A tree, a cat, a cuddly toy, a baby - you name it.

I'm confused about why it bothers you so much OP.
Sometimes we cant have what we want and we allowed to be sad about it

Agree with you - whatever you have or don’t have, life is only ever as good as you make it

I don't think many social media groups, which are formed to help a particular 'misfortune', are ever very useful or uplifting. I joined one for people with my particular form of arthritis and found it very depressing to read thread after thread of competitive suffering, with no helpful information at all.

I agree OP.

I think it's great that we are more aware of the value of talking and sharing painful emotions but it seems we've gone a bit too far and even momentary sadness or a feeling of disappointment needs a support group.

It's fine to want grandchildren and understandable to grieve if you have lost a grandchild but the entitlement of grieving grandchildren you have never had is rather self absorbed and I don't think it's wrong to say so.

I agree. The world seems so bizarre to me now. I feel like people embrace these negative experiences to define themselves. I think it’s fine to seek genuine help for something traumatic but there’s a point where people are just taking the piss. And I say this as someone who has longed for children but has suffered miscarriages and fertility problems. I can’t dwell on it and I don’t.

I agree. That’s not grief. You’re allowed to feel a flicker of sadness but “grieving” for grandchildren you don’t have and never had is psychologically unwell. They must all have something else going on to fixate on this to the extent they need a support group.

I agree that people in general just need to get on with things better. Life has ups and downs and disappointments and successes. You have to deal with them as they come. Sometimes I thank goodness that I had a very awful thing happen to me in my early 20’s as it’s made me so much more resilient.

Totally agree.
How do they know that any grandchildren would be born fit and healthy?
Do they still want one if unfortunately he/she is brain damaged/ severly disabled, or with a life limiting illness or anything else horrific that can be bestowed upon human beings?

What happens if the parents split up and they can't see the grandchildren anymore or theres a big family bust up they then have that pain to deal with.

How about if the grandchildren turn out horrible, and they don't want to visit them either. How about parent wants them to babysit all the time and they dont want too?

Truly pathetic.
They should also respect their children's choices in life if they didn't want them.
Being a parent does not give you an automatic right to a grandchild.
Focus on your own life.

Oh blimey. Poor you.